why did the chicken cross the road

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by purr, Oct 30, 2008.

  1. purr

    purr Chillin' With My Peeps

    Apr 30, 2008
    east freetown, ma
    BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE!
    The chicken wanted CHANGE!


    JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
    recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the
    chickens on the other side of the road...ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


    SARAH PALIN: BECAUSE, PRAISE JESUS, I WAS GONNA SHOOT HIS SORRY LIBERAL ASS
    FOR BLOCKING MY VIEW OF RUSSIA !


    HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
    chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to
    ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance
    it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.


    GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We
    just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The
    chicken is either against us, o r for us. There is no middle ground here.


    DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?


    COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
    satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.


    BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your
    definition of crossing?


    AL GORE: I invented the chicken.


    JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now
    against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
    chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.


    DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that
    he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes
    after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help
    him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems
    before adding new problems.


    OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why
    he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn
    from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give
    this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live
    his life like the rest of the chickens. (The chicken will likely end up
    being hit broadside by an 18-wheller while driving its car across the road.)


    ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we
    have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.


    NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see
    it in his eyes and the way he walks.


    PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.


    MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
    going. I had a standing order at the Farmers Market to sell my eggs when the
    price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
    information.


    DR SEUSS: Did the chick en cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes,
    the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed. I've not been told.


    ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.


    JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain
    truth? That's why they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken
    is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we
    boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal
    media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other side. That
    chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as
    that.


    GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody
    told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.


    BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
    listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story
    of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish
    its life long d ream of crossing the road.


    ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.


    JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together,
    in peace.


    BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross
    roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
    checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new
    platform is much more stable and will never crash.


    ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move
    beneath the chicken?


    COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
     
  2. purr

    purr Chillin' With My Peeps

    Apr 30, 2008
    east freetown, ma
    this is funny ,,bump
     

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