Why does no one understand this?

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by FluffyColor, Aug 24, 2010.

  1. FluffyColor

    FluffyColor Chillin' With My Peeps

    May 31, 2009
    Queens, NY
    I'm sorry, I just had to stop the forum for my silly complaints.

    As most of you know, my mother has Grade 2 cancer in her brain. Her memory was completely blacked out from about May to February. She couldn't remember anything with a number in it-like Social Security numbers, phone numbers, and ages. She had lost complete memory of our likes & dislikes, so for Christmas she bought me 2 packs of playdough and a rhinestone machine. My dad brought me pretty good gifts, but apparently my mother told Santa I'd been bad. I got pretty mad because I spent 20 STINKIN' DOLLARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...... which is a small fortune to me on her gift.On SALE! [​IMG] And I don't think that was the only thing I bought her, plus other family members, so the total was like $120. And she spent less than....what, $100 on her two kids and husband combined? And thirty dollars on her MIL? (whom is by no means a bad person, treats her like her own daughter, but traditionally you spend more on your children, right?)
    She was taken to the hospital on January 18, 2010, after waking up and yelling we were going to turn into bears. It was cleared she had a tumor a few days later, and she had her surgery the following Friday. Turns out the tumor was in the center of her brain, so they couldn't cut it out. They put a shunt (a tube to drain out the fluid) in her skull, which relieved the pressure in her brain, so she stopped saying crazy things except for the occasional. Nothing for a month now.

    All this was very hard on me. I didn't want to go to school and found it harder to pay attention in class and do homework. Kids started to make fun of me for my mother's tumor and wanting to keep chickens (I said I was going to keep about sixty, I have no idea why, but now I have two pet birds.) All this in the middle of rehearsing for a play. My mom once tried to walk me to school to get to rehearsal in 2 feet of fresh snow. My dad had to rescue us. I was facing my own problems there too. I got a part where someone about a year older gave me flowers and chocolates. [​IMG] Luckily, I lived through that, and we performed the play in april. The curve ball came in June, where the same person who gave me the stupid flowers (I STILL can't look at yellow flowers) trashed three classroom with glue and markers and tried to poison a good 40 people with Purell. We're not sure if he was alone because we saw three people running down the hallway away from our classroom after our water bottles were apparently poisoned. There was someone laying on the floor, I'm not sure who she was, but she was fine.I don't know if she was sick with the Purell water or trying to hide because she had something to do with it. Now, while the play was going on lots of girls were mad at me because of the part I had. They were trying to get back at me by saying that I helped him!!!! WTHECK?!?!?!?!?!??!?
    ~My close friends study in the classroom that were trashed.
    ~MY water bottle smelled like something was in it.
    ~anyone with a pair of eyes could figure out I was in the lunchroom when that happened.

    Everyone started exaggerating everything I did. We were playing flag football and I stepped on someone's foot. He yelled that I'd punched him in the nose and kicked him and tackled him before I could even say sorry. Other people,too, started saying I was brutal in flag football. Some people even fell down right before I took their flag off and claimed it was a tackle. Even added some whimpering into it. Then they almost broke my finger by bending it back. My finger still isn't quite right. We played games at recess where someone yelled about eating chicken or the school play and I ran after them. Some people tried to say i was beating them up. It's called a game. Two girls at school were mean to me because they were so organized and focused. One day I hid one of their violin cases for a joke. I gave it back and said sorry, but she still made sure I never forgot that. Every teacher had always thought i was nice, so those two and many more did everything they could to make them believe I was a horrid brat. I can't name how many special treats they tried to get me out of. Never worked though, but then they yelled in my face that the teacher was taking pity on me because of the cancer, then explained "the cancer is no excuse for this behavior. At least make sure she doesn't get to go outside with us." Never worked. When I truly knew I'd screwed up, I apoligized. They were still mad that I didn't get detention or something.

    I'm going back to school in a week and am trying to figure out: how do I keep this from happening again? How do I erase everything that happened and start over? Furthermore, this might be my last year in the district- we might move to New Jersey

    What don't these people understand?

    You may now return to regular forum discussion. I hope I didn't provide too much information. [​IMG]
     
  2. sfw2

    sfw2 Global Menace

    Wow! Where to begin?

    First, I hope your mother's health is improving. It sounds like her tumor may have had a lot to do with her choice of Christmas presents. That said, Christmas presents to our children come from Mom AND Dad, so there's no discussion of which parent spent what.

    As far as the new school year goes, I would just concentrate on your good friends. Try to stay away from those who aren't kind to you, and ignore inane comments. They make them because they think it will get to you. Hopefully, they've all spent the summer maturing, and will leave you alone. Of course, it's also possible that they will find somebody new to pick on this year.

    Good luck, and just try to maintain your cool! [​IMG]
     
  3. FluffyColor

    FluffyColor Chillin' With My Peeps

    May 31, 2009
    Queens, NY
    thank you, sfw2.

    I don't have to worry about the water bottle flower kid and those girls who were mad at me anymore. They're all transferring. [​IMG]
     
  4. eenie114

    eenie114 Completly Hopeless

    [​IMG] I'm so sorry. I hope your life gets better soon. [​IMG] Ignore people who think you are crazy for keeping chickens, and remember that you have 60,000 friends who raise chickens too. [​IMG]
     
  5. TyrannosaurusChix

    TyrannosaurusChix Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Jul 13, 2010
    Savannah, NY
    My aunt had the same type of thing your mother does.


    to me, it sounds like youre being insensitive. I dont know how old you are ( you dont need to say so, either) The meaning of Christmas is togetherness, not presents. One day you will look back and feel BAD AND UGLY for ranting about this when your mother is gone.

    Also, EVERYTHING you think is important regarding the brats in school will mean absolutely NOTHING the DAY after graduation. The kids who would pick on your about your mother are just social rejects that need to learn a little about life .. maybe community service in a terminal ward of some sort.


    Just my opinion.
     
  6. TheChickenCameFirst

    TheChickenCameFirst Chillin' With My Peeps

    I'm sorry youre having such a hard time, school can be a pain sometimes, but just try and ignore the kids that are bothering you, and like TyChicks said, it won't matter the day after graduation, and if you act the mature one, they will be the ones ashamed someday.

    I have to agree, that the gift thing does sound a bit insensitive... [​IMG] Trust me, though, I understand! It can be hard! One day those things will not matter, enjoy every day you have with your mom, a brain tumor is a serious thing, and gifts do not matter in the big scheme of things. Your mom does. [​IMG] And she loves you b[​IMG]
     
  7. Katy

    Katy Flock Mistress

    Brain cancer can affect a person in many ways.....one of which is a change in behavior and the things they chose to do. To complain about your mom's Christmas presents seems very immature and petty to me. Be glad she's still here to give you any kind of gift.

    As far as the kids at school...don't do anything at all to aggrevate the situation.....like hiding a violin case. When they say stuff about your mom or your chickens just ignore them. They're only doing it because they know it makes you have an outburst.
     
  8. FluffyColor

    FluffyColor Chillin' With My Peeps

    May 31, 2009
    Queens, NY
    Quote:I'm not trying to be 'insensitive' by telling you about the gifts, I'm describing what the tumor did to her. She would never do that otherwise. She does know to teach us that Christmas isn't all about gifts, but she WOULD have gotten me a little more if it wasn't for the tumor. [​IMG] and I'm not mad at her over the gifts. This rant isn't about the gifts, it's about people who don't understand that when people are going through a hard time, that is NOT the time to try to push them down. But since it's me, I knew everyone was going to react this way anyhow. [​IMG]

    EDIT: and don't assume that because I was disappointed, that I don't love her. I love her to death and when you were my age, you would probably be disappointed too. Also remember I didn't know she had a tumor at the time.
     
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2010
  9. TheChickenCameFirst

    TheChickenCameFirst Chillin' With My Peeps

    Quote:I'm not trying to be 'insensitive' by telling you about the gifts, I'm describing what the tumor did to her. She would never do that otherwise. She does know to teach us that Christmas isn't all about gifts, but she WOULD have gotten me a little more if it wasn't for the tumor. [​IMG] and I'm not mad at her over the gifts. This rant isn't about the gifts, it's about people who don't understand that when people are going through a hard time, that is NOT the time to try to push them down. But since it's me, I knew everyone was going to react this way anyhow. [​IMG]

    I know what brain tumors do, trust me. I think it sounds like a rant about gifts, by the way it was worded, but thanks for clarifying! no one here is attacking you trust me [​IMG] They all want to give you advice in the way they know how.

    And about the PPL pushing you down, you can always count on the fact that someone out there will pick up on the fact that you are weaker for whatever reason, and that's the time they strike. I'm sorry kids at school are doing that to you. It's very wrong.
     
  10. ranchhand

    ranchhand Rest in Peace 1956-2011

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    Aug 25, 2008
    SC
    I feel some self examination is in order. Assuming you will get picked on is something you need to remedy. Blessings to your parents, they need them far worse.

    I realize you wanted to vent, but your post came across as all about you. Since when did the Christmas celebration come down to counting the money spent? You say it isn't about that, but that's the first thing you brought up!
    How about get off the computer and go say "Dad, what can I do to help?" Give him a hug, he is losing his lifelong love. He must be really hurting. And then hug Mom and tell her you love her no matter what.

    My mother died of brain cancer in 2004. She did some very strange things, but my sisters and I rolled with it. It was the hardest 3 years of my life. For some unknown reason, Mom decided she hated her middle daughter and would be really horrible to her. Broke my sister's heart, but she survived.

    As far as school? Kill them with kindness! Be the nicest person around and let any antagonism roll off your back. No more jokes, that's rude! Don't try so hard to be the center of attention, be the quieter, nicer person.

    Good fortune, you will need it, as will your family.
     

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