Why does she make it so difficult?!

[FrizzleFreak]

Okay, so my grandmother is not exactly the easiest person to deal with. That is what I like to call an understatement. I still love her, it's just...hard.
So anyway, this time her issue is that I don't send thank you cards. Here's the situation:
she lives 20 minutes away from me.
she's at every birthday party/ gift giving occasion
SHE SEES ME EVERY WEEK!
If it bothers her so much, why didn't she mention it before now? I didn't send her a thank you card for my birthday (which was June 7) because I THANKED HER IN PERSON! She gave me a necklace. It was made of hemp, and died after about a week.
I am now PO'd at her because she is yelling at my parents and telling them that they are doing a bad job.
Now, here's why this is becoming a real problem: I want a spinning wheel. The one I want is 540 dollars (trust me, it's an amazing deal). I can come up with a little over three hundred on my own, my paternal grandparents gave me my Xmas and B-day present in advance in the form of more than 100, and my mom is willing to gift me with one hundred so that I can get up to the price.
My grandmother wants to help. Now, she has insulted my parents, my brother, and myself, for no good reason (in my opinion). I feel like I'm dragging this on too long if I don't accept a gift, but I also feel llike I'm letting her get away with too much if I do accept. I need advice. My parents have said that it is my choice, and they are fine with my decision, whatever it is.
Help!

 

[texasgal]

Accept the gift ... and write her a thank you note ..

 

[lotzahenz]

I feel your pain.

I have no answer

, but can reassure you, we all (yes, all) have family issues at one time or another.

From my experience, you have to pick your battles. If your granny is yelling at your parents, maybe she is just remided of how they were when they were growing up, forgive her. I bet she loves you dearly and letting her help with the spinning wheel would make her happy (you too).

For some reason, some Grannies are just grouchy.

We're here for you! HenZ

 

[briana1975]

Yes when ever you are given a gift it is proper to send a thank you note even if you said thank you. My grandmother is a stickler for this. It is just good manners. Now this is coming from someone who is terrible at sending thank you notes out. I know it is not good manners though. I do make sure my kids send my grandmother a thank you notes when she gives them a gift. It makes her happy.

 

[Camelot Farms]

I am so picky retentive about thank yous. Here's my philosophy....If I buy you a gift and you dont thank me in some way, fashion or form, dont look for another one...EVER.

Ask my nieces, nephews, SIL's, BIL's and even MIL...I save alot of money this way!

And it doesnt have to be a note...could be a phone call, email, text message or a carrier pigeon.

Since you thanked her in person for bday gift, you are off the hook buuuuut, now that you know she wants her thank you in writing you should probably humor her for future gift thanking opportunities. She is your grandma *wink*

And my final advice....dont look a gift horse in the mouth..take the money and send her a thank you....I wouldnt use the carrier pigeon method, she might now think it was funny...

 

[Julie08]

Quote:
Exactly right!

 

[Chicks_N_Horses]

Quote:
Exactly right!

Sounds good to me-

BTW - We have an old antique spinning wheel

 

[redhen]

Hey! you have the same B-Day as me! You MUST be okay!

And just bear with your gram. I Know its hard to do...but the elderly have different ways sometimes. Back in her day, not sending a thank-you note was maybe considered very rude. But today people are a bit more relaxed..
I also dont send thank-you notes. But i DO thank everyone in person or over the phone.

 

[horsejody]

Personally, if I had enough money to buy the spinning wheel without the gift, I would graciously decline the offer. Then I would send her a thank you note for making the offer just so she would be able to tell my parents how nice I was.

 

[redhen]

Also...its important to remember that people dont have to give you any gifts. If it makes your gram happy to get a thank you note then send her one. OR.. dont accept the gifts. IMO I think thats a fair choice (dont you?) ...if you feel pressured into giving a note and you dont REALLY want to...just dont accept any gifts from her. Then they're will be no problem.