why is it family seems to hurt you and disappoint you the most?

[redhen]

Dar, Sorry to hear this.
You are right to not allow toxic people into your life. I'm the same way...
I'm sorry that your mother is upset, but you did warn her not to do it..and yet she did it anyways. Very disrespectful and sneaky.
Again, sorry you are dealing with this crap...

 

[catwalk]

Dar, I can relate. My family stopped dissappointing me three years ago, because that's when I stoped talking to them. My parents came over unannounced one day to tell me what a horrible person I was, owing to the fact that I wouldn't be in the same room with an ex-boyfriend who was sleeping with my married sister (not my ex while they were sneaking around), and that I was going to ruin Christmas with my attitude. Not enough time has gone by to regret cutting them off, so I don't know if I ever will.

Sorry about your troubles.

 

[Pokster]

Wow, we really aren't alone! I love how my ex. even got my grown children away from me. Well you know BS walks and money talks.......guess who has the money.

I live alone and am loving my freedom finally. My family well they are who they are and I'm better off without them in my life.

 

[kesali]

"You can pick your friends, but you can not pick your relatives!" An old, but true statement. From what I see and my own experiences in life, it is almost certain that everyone has at least one dud in the family and he/she can cause more problems than all the rest put together.

 

[mikensara]

I have cut my own twin out for obvious reasons mostly related to our fathers death it was a horrible time.

when our aunt had called me (the only one willing to be a part of our fathers life) to tell me dad had finally succumbed to cancer. I had called my twin several times and she did not answer as i had run out of time i was ready to leave and make the 4 hour trip to my dads family. I had called her sil and asked her to please let my twin know that dad had died and the arrangements. I get a nasty worded email from my twin telling me to grow up and if dad had actually died our aunt would have been a grown up and called her first. I avoided my twin the entire time at the funeral home. The only great thing to come out of losing dad was reconnecting with two of my cousins and i really love them.

A few months ago my oldest sister was going through a very hard time. She had asked me where dads flag was and i told her i did not have it that our aunt had it. This was an obvious lie and I had the flag my dads family decided to give the flag to me since I was the only one who had a relationship with our father. I decided to give the flag to my oldest sister and had a frank heart to heart talk with her about the circumstances i was going through at the time. To my oldest sisters credit she had no idea what was said to me by our own mother and we have a stronger bond now.

Along comes my twin sister attacking me why who knows but thats it I can no longer have her in my life. My own mother as well we have a strained relationship at best and i told her I will never again be her doormat she wants to see her grandkids or me she has to make the attempt if she cant take the time its her loss the road travels two ways and as far as being a parent i think i am doing a good job my kids are happy and well adjusted and she has my phone number she can call anytime.

 

[pinkwindsong]

sometimes the best thing you can do is what youve done,,, vent to friends who wont judge.. youve had one bad situation after the next,,,,,

breath... exhale and breath again repeat till it gets easier and then drive on down the road,,,,when your mind is clear and your calm re read this post..if you still feel the same way or you are upset just reading it..then you have your answer... if you look at it and say,, ok I was just mad at the moment,,,, then maybe a fix can be made,,

)O(
Pink

good luck

 

[KristyHall]

it is a shame you have to deal with that

 

[dipence71]

I am so sorry you are dealing with this but again do not feel alone... been there doing that....
sending lots of hugs

 

[Dar]

Quote:
I have been sitting and re reading for a few years now... and I am done... my mom is now giving me the guilt trip that she is sore her back and knees and her legs because I was not there to help... she had jobs for each one of us to do and now her ans my sister were up till 10pm doing them because I bailed on them...

and the strange part is that would normally break my heart and make me feel like a bag of poo and oddly enough... i dont.. I look at is at you made your bed now lie in it she was hinting that she wanted me to go back out there today to help her with more things that need to be done and I simply replied that I have a busy day laundry to do hubby has to go to work tomorrow.. sorry no time..

she needs to finish paying for the couch her dog destroyed and I can see this whole thing coming between us...because I dont like being set up... i cant trust her anymore

 

[sourland]

Almost 4 years ago I "divorced" myself from a toxic family member. I have never looked back and have never regretted my actions.

"Friends ARE the family we make for ourselves."