why is it that whatever i do i always get yelled at.

[thechickenguy]

Quote:
my full mom married my step dad. my step grandmother is my step dads mother yes. my sister is only treated this way when she does something she isint supposed to do. and very very rarely any other time.

my mom knows about this. she tries to sit down and reason with step grandmother but she has none of it and my mom had to pick her words wisley because shell kick us out and well have no place to go. i cant stand that.
my step dad is here. he treats me like hes my real dad and man does that piss me off.(sorry). but i do listen to him cause hell tattle on me. hes 30 but i swear he acts like hes 5. he tattles on me and everything. such a baby.

im thinking i will tell my dad. he knows some of it but not what im tellin all you wonderful ppl.
what does "it sounds like she is of the former-type" meean?

 

[PineappleMama]

Quote:
Considering that it just him living with his folks... while in your current situation you've got a guy who's brought a wife and someone else's kids to come live with his... really, they've got NO room to be knocking him. Are your Mom and Step not working? Why are they having to shack up with Grama? If they're working, then I don't understand why they are there unless Grama is ill and needs someone (son) to be around... lots of times there's stuff going on that the kids just don't know about...

Doesn't excuse someone from being ill mannered, or by being that way teaching someone else's kids to behave that way (really no wonder her son is a tattling little weasel at 30)... you need to talk to your mom about this and tell her outright that it's making you think that living with your dad would be better for you than living there. Maybe she hasn't reached the end of HER rope, but that you have. Might make her realize how much Grama's hurting you with her words, mom's hurting you by ignoring it all... she's your MOM, she's supposed to protect you from attackers, not step aside. If she's aware of how upset you are, that you're willing to leave to get away from that harpy, then MAYBE, if she really wants to keep you, she'll finally suck it up and do something to protect you. If not, then talk to your dad and get your move on.

Sometimes, if a mom won't do what's best for a child you have to do it for yourself.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Quote:
my full mom married my step dad. my step grandmother is my step dads mother yes. my sister is only treated this way when she does something she isint supposed to do. and very very rarely any other time.

my mom knows about this. she tries to sit down and reason with step grandmother but she has none of it and my mom had to pick her words wisley because shell kick us out and well have no place to go. i cant stand that.
my step dad is here. he treats me like hes my real dad and man does that piss me off.(sorry). but i do listen to him cause hell tattle on me. hes 30 but i swear he acts like hes 5. he tattles on me and everything. such a baby.

im thinking i will tell my dad. he knows some of it but not what im tellin all you wonderful ppl.
what does "it sounds like she is of the former-type" meean?

Last question first. I said "Some step-relations do not acknowledge the relationship in any positive way, and others treat it as precious." The first part "Some step-relations do not acknowledge the relationship in any positive way" is the former and the second part "and others treat it as precious" would be the later. So my comment was that your step-grandmother does not appear to value the relationship with you.


You appear to contradict yourself in talking about your step-father. First you say he treats you like he is your dad (which is actually a good thing--it shows he is trying to have a positive relationship with you), then you say "but i do listen to him cause hell tattle on me. hes 30 but i swear he acts like hes 5. he tattles on me and everything. such a baby." Who is he tattling TO? If your mom, then that is a part of his responsibility; if to HIS mom (which it sounds like), then he is out of line, and it does not sound at all compatible with your statement about treating you like he is your dad.

As for kicking your mom and sister out, where is your step-dad on this? Would he not go with and support his wife? If not, then being out of there is better than staying there. I would think that you and your sister could go to your dad, or all of you might be able to go to your mom's family.

 

[thechickenguy]

Quote:
Considering that it just him living with his folks... while in your current situation you've got a guy who's brought a wife and someone else's kids to come live with his... really, they've got NO room to be knocking him. Are your Mom and Step not working? Why are they having to shack up with Grama? If they're working, then I don't understand why they are there unless Grama is ill and needs someone (son) to be around... lots of times there's stuff going on that the kids just don't know about...

Doesn't excuse someone from being ill mannered, or by being that way teaching someone else's kids to behave that way (really no wonder her son is a tattling little weasel at 30)... you need to talk to your mom about this and tell her outright that it's making you think that living with your dad would be better for you than living there. Maybe she hasn't reached the end of HER rope, but that you have. Might make her realize how much Grama's hurting you with her words, mom's hurting you by ignoring it all... she's your MOM, she's supposed to protect you from attackers, not step aside. If she's aware of how upset you are, that you're willing to leave to get away from that harpy, then MAYBE, if she really wants to keep you, she'll finally suck it up and do something to protect you. If not, then talk to your dad and get your move on.

Sometimes, if a mom won't do what's best for a child you have to do it for yourself.

my step dad did something bad and if made him get fired from his work. well my mom couldnt afford the house we used to live at (she was making 22.00 hour.) so we moved here.
she and him now make 7 something an hour. not good. step grand mother isint ill. maybe mental. idk. my mom does protect me but weere living here because we cant afford anything else.
ill have to have a little disccusion with dad.

 

[thechickenguy]

Quote:
my full mom married my step dad. my step grandmother is my step dads mother yes. my sister is only treated this way when she does something she isint supposed to do. and very very rarely any other time.

my mom knows about this. she tries to sit down and reason with step grandmother but she has none of it and my mom had to pick her words wisley because shell kick us out and well have no place to go. i cant stand that.
my step dad is here. he treats me like hes my real dad and man does that piss me off.(sorry). but i do listen to him cause hell tattle on me. hes 30 but i swear he acts like hes 5. he tattles on me and everything. such a baby.

im thinking i will tell my dad. he knows some of it but not what im tellin all you wonderful ppl.
what does "it sounds like she is of the former-type" meean?

Last question first. I said "Some step-relations do not acknowledge the relationship in any positive way, and others treat it as precious." The first part "Some step-relations do not acknowledge the relationship in any positive way" is the former and the second part "and others treat it as precious" would be the later. So my comment was that your step-grandmother does not appear to value the relationship with you.


You appear to contradict yourself in talking about your step-father. First you say he treats you like he is your dad (which is actually a good thing--it shows he is trying to have a positive relationship with you), then you say "but i do listen to him cause hell tattle on me. hes 30 but i swear he acts like hes 5. he tattles on me and everything. such a baby." Who is he tattling TO? If your mom, then that is a part of his responsibility; if to HIS mom (which it sounds like), then he is out of line, and it does not sound at all compatible with your statement about treating you like he is your dad.

As for kicking your mom and sister out, where is your step-dad on this? Would he not go with and support his wife? If not, then being out of there is better than staying there. I would think that you and your sister could go to your dad, or all of you might be able to go to your mom's family.

like i said my step dad acts like hes 5. my mom says she loves him and he "says" he loves her but i dont believe it. they fight all the time.
i dont really think he gives a crap.

update: step grand mother came upstairs and hid the phones from me when i went out with the chickens. i cant believe it.
im sorry i cant type for a while. im so pis*** i cant think stright! srry.

 

[thechickenguy]

i havent cried in about 10 years and i was just a bit ago. its just to much. i cant do it. i so sick of her. my mom just said if we were to get kicked out step dad wouldnt give a rats a**.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Email your dad NOW.

You and your sister & mom shouldn't be paying the price for your step-father's mistakes. Find a friend to take your birds and any other animals for the summer (at least) and go for a L-O-N-G visit with your dad.

Until he can get there to pick y'all up, find a time when your step-grandmother is not in a bad mood and ring up the subject that y'all are having difficulty getting along. Very respectfully ask her what she wants from you that she is not getting--what can you do to not be upsetting her. Basically, turn the ball over to her court.

For example, if she says "I don't want you to use the phone." Repeat back, "OK, so I shouldn't make phone calls or let my friends know the number here? What do you want me to do if I do get a call from a friend who already knows the number?" You don't have to tell her that you agree or disagree, only repeat what you think you have understood her to say. And go on to to other topics as seems appropriate: what she wants you to do and to not do, the behavior she expects from you. This gives you specifics to tell your father. And if you get yelled at for following her rules, that tells your dad even more.

i really hope that this is just a case of misunderstood expectations. It doesn't really sound like it, but I do hope that that is it. Kids shouldn't have to pay the price for their parents' choices.

 

[thechickenguy]

thanks everybody. i think i got it all figured out. dad here i come!!!!

 

[EweSheep]

Go and talk to your Dad!

 

[redhen]

Quote:
I would want to know if you have lied to her in the past about other things..(not just about the phone)? Maybe that could be why she dosent believe you?