Will I Ever Get Used To This???

[newfoundland]

It is incredibly sad that some only feel safe living in gated communities. It is almost a contradiction in terms for these are often far removed from what we recognise as a community. Look up the dictionary definition, it suggests a group of people who are involved with each other and have a collective concern for each other's welfare. These can and do exist often in the world's biggest slums. They do not require money to exist but just the feelings of fellowship that spring up between people who have the same cares and concerns. For this very reason some of the poorest places on our planet have the happiest communities. Slum dog millionaire is alive and well and usually in neighbourhoods beset by poverty and hardship.

 

[rebbetzin]

:0 and then poeple aske me if its safe to come visit here because the travel advisory people put out warnings constantly; i get them in my email... but here, we dont lock doors (in the city , yes, but still not that kind of security that u are talking about. people answer doors, phones, will strike up conversations with u on busses, invite u over, most conversations here eventually get to asking where u live and do u know so and so... and where are they and do u have their phone number etc... although i can see changes here also. )...it all seems a bit isolating; i guess im used to being surrounded by people and doing everything in groups/herds... my parents really like it in their 'gated' neighbhorhood; i just find it wierd that u dcant just pop over to someone , knock on a door and ask for a cup of sugar or milk. here, even if u dont know the poeple, u still can do that without them thinking u are scamming them, and terrorists dont come knocking ont he front door.

Oh we do have some people in our lives that are "old fashioned neighbors" One is next door and the other is right behind me, we share a fence. We are forever handing foods we made over the fences. And we know they would help us in any way they could day or night. But, you have to cultivate those knd of neighborly relationships.

 

[RedneckGurl]

Newfoundland, I know what you mean about gated communities not being at all the definition of a "community". We lived in one in southern California and I've never felt so alone and isolated as I did in that place despite there being 125 homes within its walls. We had zero lot lines on one side and only 10 feet on the other...so there, in a place where we lived the closest to "neighbors" as we ever had, literally sharing a wall, was the farthest away from people I've ever felt. We now live in north Alabama, out in the country on 2.5 acres, and are closer to our next door neighbors and our across the street neighbors than we were to those in L.A. yet here we are barely within yelling distance of them. People seem to care more here and actually WANT to get to know their neighbors. No place we've lived in the 20 years we've been married has been like that except here. A sad testament to how our country has changed. What used to be the norm is now the exception I think.