Reading your post shows me that you actually have 2 issues here....
The first is time... we have 24 acres, 6 horses, 8 donkeys, 24 sheep & goats, poultry (chickens, ducks, peacocks gunieas) and house birds, lizards and a 12 year old. I work days - 6 days per week, DW works 12hr shifts (RN) 3 to 5 nights per week. I typically have 4 hours (now down to 2.5 hrs) until dark on weeknights & half day on Saturday, all day Sunday to do all that needs done on the farm. After 19 years on the farm I finally learned that it was not possible to have perfection. So.... I bushhog when I can, horses get groomed when I can. I set up the poultry with automatic feeders that I fill every 3 days and water daily to save time. I tried to set up everone so that one day I refill feeders & move pens to fresh grass, the next I may cut grass during the time I saved by having feeders & so on. Big projects I prepare a little at a time after work (get materials to the site & so on) so on my half day saturday I can get right on it. Typically, I am working until 10:00 (house chores - cleaning, laundry & so on...) I then eat, shower & read until 12:00 & go to bed. Up at 6:30 to start again. On top of the daily "Have Tos" I also implemented a 5 minute rule years ago... that means that every day I take about 5 minutes to do something extra - weeding or whatever. You learn to accomplish the extras in increments of time rather than finishing the lesser important chores in one go.
The other thing is your spouses reluctance to help. Just realize that the farm may be your dream but not his. So do what you can to achieve your dream but also let him do whatever it is that he finds happiness in. I do not know anyone who is totally self sufficient and I do know many people who get frustrated because they can't have the "perfect" farm they dreamed of - so avoid the frustration by doing those things that bring you pleasure and make you feel more SS but instead of trying to garden a half acre - only plant a few raised beds. Do only the amount you can handle & be pleased that you accomplished that much rather than nothing. Get back to the place where you enjoy it rather than feel overwhelmed with the sheer amount of work.
If you change your mindset from "now" to "in time" and take time to enjoy what you are doing - you will be happier and feel accomplished. If you are geared like me you will always "see" the things not done rather than the things accomplished but if you implement a 5 minute rule and use it to weed that bed you first see when you get home, or to plant a few brillant flowers in a small plot by the steps, or mulch only one of the fruit trees that need mulch, or whatever you need done - then you will see a work in progress that will encourage you rather than the work waiting that you can't get to. Eventually, you DO catch up and see a larger result and in doing it in small incrememnts you feel the accomplishment. Good luck & hang in there - it will get better!
