Would you allow your daughter to join the Navy?

[kristenm1975]

My daughter has a 3.8 GPA, is in her junior year of high school and is finishing up her first year of the Running Start program which will enable her to have earned her AA degree by the time she graduates from high school. She has developed an aversion to debt and does not feel that she will get enough scholarships and grants to enable her to get a four year degree at a university without being heavily weighed down with debt upon graduating.

She became interested in the NROTC program which would entail the Navy paying her way through four years of college to a degree. She would then be required to attend an officer's training school, after which she would owe the Navy either four, five or six years, depending on which recruiting officer you ask.

I asked the recruiting officer what her chances were of being sent on a ship to the areas of conflict (Afghanistan, Iran, Iraq) and he said she has a 90% chance of being sent to the Gulf and a smaller percentage chance of being sent ashore there for duty.

When I asked what happens if she finds that this life is not for her and she is unable to complete her term of duty, the recruiting officer's exact words were: "Tough cookies".

Now, I would like very much to hear from other parents what they think, and I'd also REALLY like to hear stories from people who've actually been in the Navy and had trouble with them. I need my daughter to know what's possible. At the moment, she's being seduced by promises of free education, travel and adventure and isn't seeing the reality of being sent to dangerous areas where she may see horrendous things that she wants no part of but is forced to participate in because she signed on the dotted line at the young and foolish age of 18.

Thank you in advance for your assistance. I want to be clear that I am not intending to put down those who have served or are serving. I'm simply trying to discover if this is the right choice for my daughter.

 

[SarahBeth9394]

I think your question should be "should I advise my daughter to join and support her decision if she does?" not should I allow her. She is 18 and it is all her decision. My personal feelings are if she has met the requirements to get the education as well as Officer Training School, knows what is expected of her, and makes her decision to join then you should support her decision 100%. It's a great opportunity. She's looking at whether or not she wants to graduate with major debt and no promise of a job or go through the Navy, get her education, begin her career, come out of it not owing a ton of money, and serving her country all at the same time. She knows nothing in life is free and if she's payed any attention to world events in the last 10 years she knows that there are possible risks involved. I think it's a very mature thing she is considering.

 

[lizareny]

If and when she joins, she'll discover the things she knew would be good are better than anticipated, and things she thought would be bad are worse. It's a blink of time. Four years......Yes, I have children and have encouraged everyone of them to go into a branch of service. Don't be to hard on her, maybe she can comfort you if you're upset.

 

[seismic wonder2]

Im still in the Navy, have been for 20 years. Here's the skinny.

If at all possible, have her get any and all degrees BEFORE she joins. Advancement is faster with degrees under your belt.
With an AAS, BA, MA, PHD, etc...she could apply AT ANY TIME for OFFICER PROGRAMS... there are several depending on what her primary job is and what she want's to be.

NAVY LIFE IS NOT EASY!!!!
away from home, living with anywhere from 300 to 6000 of your not so closest friends.
There's no such thing as "weekends off" you are in the military 24-7.
that 30 days paid vacation is a PRIVLAGE not a RIGHT.
We have our own set of laws called the Uniform Code Of Military Justice(UCMJ) If you break the law and get put in civillian jail for 60 days, when you are released the Military can charge you for desertion and put you in Levenworth.
No such thing as FREE EDUCATION...you work for it (remember that 24-7 thing?) We do have "Tuition Assistance Program" which will pay 75 to 100% of college tuition but with lots of rules and stipulations....

A ship operates 24-7..that means someone will be awake (standing watch)for most of that 24 hours, guess who that will be...If you fall asleep while on watch see the note about UCMJ
There is NO CLEANING STAFF aboard ship....Guess who cleans the floors and crappers.....
No restaurants either...guess who serves the food to the rest of the crew...
Laundry...same thing.
"Shipmates" is just a term used to imply to sailors are attached to the same unit...you may NOT at any time "conjoin" with other sailors on your ship or suffer "non-judicial punishment"(get in trouble)
Shipboard romances are at all times discouraged and disapproved. They cause "Drama" and no one needs that. Espicially the supervisor (ME)

If she can follow rules and take orders, the Navy is fine. If she is hot headed, smart mouthed, or a "girly girl"...maybe not so much...

Oh and YES the NAVY has BOOTS ON GROUND in afghanistan as well as Iraq and other dangerous places....

 

[blb]

Both my boys went into the miltary. They made the decision, not us. We supported them.

Remember, they are living their life. You are living yours. If they did everything I wanted then I would be happy but would they??

It is their life! Would you really deprive them the opporturity of learning and growing like you did from your decisions?

Now that being said, yes it was really hard when they were deployed in Iraq. I still don't get a paper or read about Afganistan.

My second son is now in college after 4 years in the Marines. His college is FREE. My daughters are working and going to school with school loans.

Yes it is a hard life but can be very rewarding. My hubby was active duty when we first married for 6 years then reserves since. We use the commissary (grocery store), exchange/PX (like a sears), and great vacations to miltary places saving a TON of money.

Good luck!

 

[agnes_day]

Quote:
i might want to let my oldest know this..he has decided to join the navy because "there is no chance of actual fighting" and because he thinks its a free ride to collage for minimum effort.

 

[sfw2]

Your daughter sounds like a very mature and sensible young lady. I may be biased, because my husband is a retired Navy CPO, but the Navy can offer her all kinds of opportunities, especially after going through NROTC. It is a big commitment, and she shouldn't enter into it lightly, but IMO she is

less likely to be directly in harm's way if she's stationed on a ship in the Gulf, rather than "boots on the ground".

I would certainly have concerns if either of my daughters (I have two, 17 and almost 20) expressed an interest in joining the Navy, but I would support them in their decisions.

 

[seismic wonder2]

Quote:
i might want to let my oldest know this..he has decided to join the navy because "there is no chance of actual fighting" and because he thinks its a free ride to collage for minimum effort.

and not even "Combat rates" like seals or seebees...I'm talking welders, administrative (secretary), painters, computer technicians..(ME)>>>etc...

 

[SAORSA]

First of all let me say .... WOW, HAVE YOU DONE A FANTASTIC JOB RAISING THAT CHILD !!!!!!

These days you hardly ever hear of a 17 year old who is so responsible. I know you must be so proud.
The only assistance I can give is to say many outstandingly wonderful people now and throughout history have served their country and right out of high school.
People who have served in the military often get preferential consideration in the job market and for promotion in the work force.
Of course there is a possibility she will see things you, (and she), may wish she could have never seen, but that is true living our every day lives and every time you watch the news.
At the moment, there is a ban on females in combat. If her grades continue to be good, she will be able to choose what her "job" will be when she signs up.
CHOOSE CAREFULLY

HOPE THE BUMP HOOKS YOU UP WITH A YOUNG FEMALE PERSON IN THE NAVY OR WHO HAS THAT PERSONAL EXPERIENCE

I am so proud of your daughter. It brings tears to my eyes.

 

[schellie69]

My oldest DS has talking about joining the Guards now I have my reason's that I dislike the military not the soldiers that serve but I am trying to support my DS so I told him my thoughts about it and then supported his decision which he hasn't finished making yet so we shall see at least the recruiter was honest with you most are not I would sit down talk to your DD and see what she thinks tell her your thoughts and then support her decision if she finds that she does not like it or what ever she can get out after 4 years and still have the money and experience and it will look good on a resume so just talk to her and then support her with whatever her decision is.