Would you allow your daughter to join the Navy?

[gettinaclue]

I wasn't in the Navy, I was Army. It was the best thing I ever did with myself.

I jumped out of helicopter, had a few soldiers, went a few places. This was before the wars.

I don't know about "allowing" her to join. That may not be the best choice of words since she will be 18 when she joins.
Maybe "advise" would be better?

As a mother myself, I would be concerned - no doubt about it. Just sit down and discuss with her. Get all valid info - from more places than the recruiter LOL.

Good luck!

 

[Wynette]

Yes.

 

[herefordlovinglady]

If she is having any reservations, maybe she could talk to some of the women who are already in the military. Then you would feel better about supporting any decision she makes.

I for one am for it. I grew up in the Navy and married into the Navy and loved every last minute. My husband had to go through was dessert storm. It was and is an honor having a father and husband who served in the armed forces.

 

[kristenm1975]

I can't tell you how much I appreciate all the input, fellow BYC-ers! This is very scary for me and I want to be sure I advise wisely. I agree with what some have said about the choice of words, allow vs advise. At this point, my daughter is only 17, so I am more in the position to allow or disallow, but even then using my authority in that way may not be the best choice. I agree that at some point we all need to let our children go and make their own choices. I just know I could never live with myself if I didn't say what I felt and she joined up and was killed in service of something neither she nor our family support.

SAORSA, your kindness is overwhelming and I thank you. As with most parents, I suspect, I often feel I've perhaps not been the best parent I could be. I was all of 17 when I gave birth to her and I question daily my ability to guide her properly. The person she has become blows my mind and fills me with gratitude daily.

seismic wonder2, it's especially helpful to me to hear what you've said, as you've had so much experience with the Navy. That's exactly what I was looking for, an honest opinion of both the good and the bad of a career with the Navy. Thank you! I will most certainly pass along your statement.

Please keep the opinions coming folks. This means a lot to a nervous mama's heart.

 

[redhen]

Yes!!!

 

[gritsar]

Quote:
X2 My daughter did JrROTC and then joined the Army while she was still in high school (deferred enlistment). It's a good choice for any young person IMO.
US Coast Guard would be another excellent choice.

 

[Brickman House]

Without weighing in on the Navy question, I would be curious to know why she thinks she wouldn't get enough in scholarships and aid to graduate from a 4 year college without major debt?

There are all kinds of avenues for aid open to her, especially since she's a good student. Harvard may be out of reach, but there are PLENTY of reasonably priced 4 year schools that put together terrific grant, aid and scholarship packages for talented kids.

If the Navy calls to her for whatever reason, so be it, but if the only reason she's considering joining is because she's worried about paying for a degree otherwise, I'd encourage her to look a little harder-- there are a LOT of opportunities available for that degree at a reasonable price.

 

[superchemicalgirl]

Has she thought about going to the Naval Academy? Free education and come out an officer. My sister went there.
She did have some problems with harassment, but nothing worse than what I experienced in college.

If she's only thinking of doing it because of the money she should instead consider community college for the first 2 years. That's what I did, and kept my GPA up and got a full scholarship for the last 2 years to the state school. Community College was a fine start, I've got a doctorate now.

She sounds like she has a fine head on her shoulders, just show her the options.

 

[herefordlovinglady]

Quote:
I am soon to be 50 and my mom still can allow me or advise me, i respect her that much.

 

[PineappleMama]

I'd be absolutely SICK with worry, but fact is that at 18 there's not doodly you can do about it.

Any more than you can stop her from marrying a jerk...
Or deciding to move to Alaska...
Becoming a vegan...
Joining the Peace Corps...
Becoming a missionary...

I've heard some horror stories about kids that signed on and had no idea what they were in for. Kids that are now grown and scarred for life. Kids that still haven't been released after they've served the 3 or whatever years they agreed to. Kids that can't sleep at night for the nightmares. Kids afraid to marry for fear they'll hurt their spouse/kids. There's a LOT that can go wrong, so I understand completely your fears, but those kids' parents couldn't do squat to stop things, and neither can you... unless of course you're a closet billionaire or are part of a huge political family... then I suppose you could buy a desk post for your child... but for the rest of us we just have to hope for the best and be there to support her should any of this turn out not to be all roses.

In your shoes I would find as many FACTS as I could... and I wouldn't limit it to the current situation, but would show what the Navy/Army/Air Force have done in the past. I'd show her exactly what kind of horrors she can expect... exactly what she may be ordered to do. I know that I do not have the stomach for killing, that's just a fact. In the heat of the moment, if I was threatened, or my child, then maybe I could kill to protect myself (thankfully never had to try) but to be ordered to kill... perfect strangers... and any children nearby are just collateral damage... there's just no way I could do it. Thus there is no way that I would EVER sign on to any military group. Unfortunately many kids don't realize that that is a real possibility... maybe they think that's a very rare thing... or that their unit wouldn't be in that... or maybe if they're on a boat it distances them from the village they're bombing since they won't see the bodies. I really don't know but there are SO many cases of kids that got a rude awakening when faced with the facts. And then they can't leave, they are forced to continue doing these things that make them ill. It takes a part of your soul that you can never get back. Even if you aren't the one pulling the trigger, knowing that you loaded the gun has broken many a soldier. In wars throughout history the highest casualty numbers are often the innocent bystanders... the soldiers are trained to get out of the way and are only hurt when they make an error... it's easy enough to find those estimates... I say estimates because they rarely bother keeping an accurate count since those children are just collateral damage and not worth a second glance. I would have no choice but to show my child these FACTS so that at least I know they'll be making a truly informed decision... not based on one sided rose tinted information.

Sorry for the ramble there, but war is something that has always hurt to even think of. The men and women who're sent in, they are the ones who end up scarred, not the politicians sitting on the hill eating a thousand dollar lunch paid for by our taxes... I think if those politicians were to actually SEE what their half researched decisions actually caused then maybe they'd be a little more supportive of our troops and wouldn't send them into some of the places that have turned out to be disasters.

If this is off topic feel free to delete the whole mess, I don't mind at all, but I think that the recruiters should be a LOT more honest than they are and the only way that will ever happen is by spreading the FACTS.