Would you be offended.

[Stumpy]

All I keep thinking about is who is going to support the jobless couple?

 

[purr]

I still can't get over the fact that they are 18 and don't have jobs.Who has provided all the little extra's that they have wanted the last couple of years? In my house once you get to the legal job age which is 16 here , if you want those 100 pair of sneakers then you pay the difference from the $30 pair I would have bought.
Had they gotten jobs at 16 by now they would have known how hard you need to work to afford to get by.
DD came to me at 16 and said she wanted a $70 pair of jeans.I said get a job. The next saturday she got up and asked me to take her to the mall where she put in applications and had a job on Monday.She bought the jeans with her first paycheck and regretted spending her whole pay check on a pair of jeans .lesson learned
On the other hand DH and I are celebrating our 29th anniversary March 14. When we got married I was 18 and he was 19 and I was pregnant.We lived with his parents for the first 6 mths of our marriage . But we both had jobs and I got up the morning after we got home from our honeymoon and my MIL banged on our bedroom door and said get up and make your husband his breakfast and a lunch for work cause NOW IT'S YOUR JOB.
So see every once in a while it can work,but not very often.
I'm sorry I would not be home schooling her at this point.Your so worried about her education but obviousley she doesn't care a fig about it.It's not going to kill her to get her GED later.It's not like she'll be missing out on graduation with all her freinds since she's homeschooled anyway.
Do they have a vehicle , if yes who pays for the insurance.If not who taxi's them around. Either way the are both totally dependant on mommy's and daddy's .Time to grow up, get a job and learn how to say " do you want fries with that?"

 

[dutchhollow]

Cindi, sorry you are going through this. First thing I would do is go to the store and get a pregnancy test and make her take it in fromt of me. You are more then likely going to be supporting three. How old is the boy? Still in school? I don't understand why they can't go to school or be home schooled and still work? Plenty of people do it, and if they want to be grown up and get married they should darn sure both be working. JMO

 

[Catstar68]

Quote:
I thought I was the only one here that was thinking this

I'm a suspicious sort. Yup, get rid of a kid and let him be someone else's financial burden.

Your DD will be preggers and college will be the last thing on her mind. Guess who will be doing a lot of babysitting? 18 year olds want to go out and have fun like their normal 18 year old friends are. DH may give his blessing but will he be there to change the diapers?!
Just my 2 pennies. I apologize for being so cynical but my sister pulled the same thing...train wreck waiting to happen! 'Husband' still thinking he had his oats to sow, illigitimate children by other women, ugly divorce, welfare, 3 kids hauled away by social services, mental hospitals for depression, and now she is disabled, mentally destroyed and living on borrowed time because she has lost all desire to take care of herself and live.

My heart goes out to you.

 

[Katy]

I know the odds are stacked against them because of no jobs and to some exent because of their age, but it would increase their chances of making their marriage work if they had family support from all parents and step-parents involved. And I don't mean financial support either. She is 18 so there's nothing you can do to stop her from getting married so you might as well make the best of it and be there for her, whatever happens with them in the future.

 

[mom'sfolly]

I still think the homeschool should stop and public school or a GED is needed. I wouldn't be willing to homeschool someone who is acting like a selfish brat.

As for the rush to marriage, I agree there must be something else behind it....a pregnancy, a breakup that is thought to be prevented by marriage (happens more than you would think), pressure from the boy's family, a boy who signed up for the military and wants to take his girl with him, a girl who saving herself for marriage, but can't fight the urges; there is some thing going on here. Try to find out what it is.

 

[horsejody]

Quote:
Yes, but let them do it on their own dime, not their parents. There is no reason that a highschooler can't at least have a part time job. You can't stop 18 year olds from marrying, but you don't have to pony up the money to support them either. I would say that the new hubbie could only move in after he got a job. A good option may be the military. They need to graduate to be accepted, but they can sign up for the delayed enlistment.

 

[ducks4you]

Please don't A N Y B O D Y get offended by my humble opinions I am about to express. First, it's highly likely that she is "PG", as they say in the musical, "Grease." There's the reason for the rush. Secondly, if that IS the case, perhaps you could take comfort that they're not "playing house," as is SO common today. They REALLY need your support, because rushing into a permanent relationship is like slapping together a skyscraper--it's very likely to collapse when pressure is applied to it. Just MHO...

 

[SallyF]

I have no wonderful words of wisdom, but here goes.

Cindiloohoo, I've enjoyed and learned a lot from your posts and I'm sorry you're going through this. I know it's driving you crazy. You seem, however, to be one of those people who, as I tell my grown children, will always take the high road in any given situation, rather than lowering yourself to go the other way, so I know that you will do the best you can in this situation. It's small comfort, I know, but I have a niece who did the same thing, only she was 16 and pregnant. She did manage to finish high school, thank God, and her husband seems to be handling the job of supporting her and their two children as well as can be expected. She hasn't yet made it to college, and may never, but she's a good mama and he seems to be a good dad and they're doing OK.

Take care of yourself. I'm glad you have a place to rant and express your anger and frustration, because that will enable you to keep your head high as you deal with all this. Don't be a doormat, but remember that revenge is not always as sweet as you want it to be. I hope your daughter wakes up and smells the coffee, but it doesn't sound very likely. You have a right to be offended; know that you don't deserve this and that we all wish you the best in bearing it.

(I'll try to find some Tennessee jokes for everyone, soon as I cook up last night's roadkill.)

 

[ebwy]

also, if she is pregnant then make very sure she knows that while you won't turf her out, that child is HER responsibility. She wants to go out? - fine, she can find a babysitter. Baby needs to be changed? her job. Baby needs feeding? - her job. Baby won't stop crying? - her problem (though obviously if she really starts to lose it you'd need to step in... that's what grandparents do)

just because she's young doesn't mean YOU raise the baby (IF there is one) - I know people who got accidentally pregnant at 15 who raised their own children and did a good job of it. There was never any suggestion that the grandparents raise the child, it was the parents who did it.
the grandparents were there with advice and an occasional helping hand, just like they would have been if she was older and living elsewhere when she had a baby. But other than providing a home, they did nothing more than they would have done whenever they got a grandchild.

but right now there's no proof that she is pregnant