This really is a bit of a rambling post, but I thought it could go into this category as well. For a bit of background I got married back in 1997 to a man who was nearly ten years older than me. We were married for nearly 11 years before our divorce was finalized (I had left him in 2004 because he was unfaithful and had a penchant for WAY younger women). He is now remarried to a young lady who is 22 years old. He is 45. They have two children together. Somehow I ended up being a mentor to this young lady because I urged her NOT to have an abortion when she was nearly 4 months pregnant. *sigh* I'm glad she didn't but now this puts me in an awkward position. She calls me all the time to:
complain my ex-husband, her children, her job, her life, her car, her family, his family, their mutual friends, etc. and so forth. Without fail, when I am on the phone with her she is yelling at his 2 year old little boy. And I mean yelling. Nasty things that no one should ever say to anyone, let alone their sweet baby. Things like
"What the &%*( is WRONG with you? I TOLD you not to touch that! Get the ^&%( in your room you stupid little &*%(%!!"
Yesterday, against my better judgement I went with her, her two children and my little girl to the park. In less than a half an hour she had: spanked her kid for no reason, yelled at him, grabbed him by his hair to make him sit down (she did that in the shopping cart later in the day as well), and made him cry at least three times. I'm completely saddened and appaled. I told her several times that being gentle was more productive, that treating him that way would result in him hating her when he's older, that if she wants him to grow up abusive she's doing a fine job of setting the example. Short of calling DSS on her, I don't know what to do. While I feel no obligation for HER, I feel bad for the kids.
My daughter is NOT used to seeing things like this and has never been treated in such a way. She was horrified and said to me "Why is Miss --- so mean to the babies??" I had no good answer for her except that some parents just don't know how to be good to their kids.
Thoughts, suggestions? Should I just butt out altogether and lose contact? Help!
complain my ex-husband, her children, her job, her life, her car, her family, his family, their mutual friends, etc. and so forth. Without fail, when I am on the phone with her she is yelling at his 2 year old little boy. And I mean yelling. Nasty things that no one should ever say to anyone, let alone their sweet baby. Things like
"What the &%*( is WRONG with you? I TOLD you not to touch that! Get the ^&%( in your room you stupid little &*%(%!!"
Yesterday, against my better judgement I went with her, her two children and my little girl to the park. In less than a half an hour she had: spanked her kid for no reason, yelled at him, grabbed him by his hair to make him sit down (she did that in the shopping cart later in the day as well), and made him cry at least three times. I'm completely saddened and appaled. I told her several times that being gentle was more productive, that treating him that way would result in him hating her when he's older, that if she wants him to grow up abusive she's doing a fine job of setting the example. Short of calling DSS on her, I don't know what to do. While I feel no obligation for HER, I feel bad for the kids.
My daughter is NOT used to seeing things like this and has never been treated in such a way. She was horrified and said to me "Why is Miss --- so mean to the babies??" I had no good answer for her except that some parents just don't know how to be good to their kids.
Thoughts, suggestions? Should I just butt out altogether and lose contact? Help!
