Writing a story in a chicken's eyes! UPDATE Pg. 75!

[ChickLover98]

CHAPTER TWO REVISION

In the next couple of hours, Prim, Daisy, and I got to know each other. I’m glad that I have someone to stick up for me. I still am getting a lot of comments about being a ‘show bird’. It doesn’t bother me too much, but you know.
I’m sitting in the soft blankets again. I look around at all of the other chicks of whom I do not know their names. I should probably make some more friends, but I’m lazy and I don’t feel like getting back up.
Everyone is starting to get pretty white, black, and brown feathers on their wings. I lift up my pathetic wing only to see that I don’t have any feathers yet. How can this get any better, I think, rolling my eyes.
I look to my left, and suddenly, Primrose is sitting right beside me.
“Whoa, where did you come from?” I ask, astonished. I jump up and my eyes bug out.
“Well, I guess you were daydreaming or something because you didn’t even notice me sitting here a couple of minutes ago,” she chirped, grinning.
“Oh, ok,” I cheep plainly. I’m still a bit shaken up.
She looks at me with that searching look of hers. I know she thinks that something is bothering me. To tell the truth, something is, but I don’t want to tell Prim. I know, she’s my friend, but I just… can’t.
“What is it?” she says, cocking her head.
“What is what?” I chirp.
“Oh, never mind,” she says, rolling her eyes.
She gets up and continues to walk across the softness to Daisy. I hope they’re not mad at me. If they’re mad at me, then I don’t know what I am going to do!
All of a sudden, a handsome chick that is black with a yellow belly walks up and plops himself down next to me. He is different, also! He has fuzzy feet, too! And no wing feathers! Maybe I am not an oddball after all!
“Hello there. What is your name? I couldn‘t help but notice that we‘re both different. I guess we‘re not that different after all!” he cheeps.
“Me? Oh, I’m Cloudy,” I squeak. Oh, no! He’s going to think I’m so stupid!
“Nice to meet you, I’m Onyx,” he says, smiling.
“Nice to meet you, too, Onyx,” I smile back. My tiny heart skipped a beat.
“Hey, maybe would you want to go take a walk to the water jug with me?” he inquires.
“Yeah, that would be nice,” I say. My voice comes out all weird and I’m yelling at myself in my mind. I hope he doesn’t think I’m weird! I smile sweetly.
I walk again in the soft blankets, but this time with another Cochin! I can’t believe it! I’m so happy, but then I lose my footing and I notice that my claw is caught on the soft blanket. I’m frantically trying to get it out, when I tumble over and land on my head. Oh, no, I hope Onyx didn’t notice!
I run to catch up with him as he continues walking.
“You ok?” he asks me.
“Uh, yeah. I’m fine,” I say, relieved that he didn’t notice. I flutter my wings to get straightened out again.
We finally reach the watering jar and we have to duck under lot’s of angered chicks to finally reach it. I take a cool sip of water, and then I look up. I see Onyx and I standing together. I look so dumb, just standing there, all bug-eyed and stupid.
I can’t believe he actually likes me.
Onyx and I go get something to eat. We plop down and go to sleep, huddled together.
When I wake up, I hear a bunch of chicks squealing and making a racket. Oh no! What is happening? They’re all running around, crying with fear and tumbling over one another. They are falling into the soft blanket and tripping on each other.
I frantically look around and I spot Onyx, Prim, and Daisy. I dash over to where they are huddled.
“What’s going on here?” I shout over the noise.
Before they have a chance to answer, a giant, pale hand dips down into our home and snatches up a yellow chick beside us! Now, I’m scared.
“They’re taking us!” Prim squeals loudly.
“What?” I yell.
“Duck!” Daisy screams.
“What? Where?” I ask, confused.
Just then, the hand scoops me up! I scream and make such a racket, kicking and chirping. In an attempt to flap my wings, the creature, which is called a human, tightens it’s grip on me. I try to bite it, but it is out of my reach. Ouch! Let me go!
It drops me in a box. I land on my back on the hard floor. I run, bashing into the walls and hurting myself.
“Prim! Daisy! Onyx! Please, someone, help me!” I cry.
No one answers me, but to my surprise, Prim is dropped down into the box, almost squashing me. Before I have time to say anything, Daisy is dropped on top of her. They scoot away from each other and huddle against a wall of the box.
I follow and shove myself in a corner. Nobody is saying anything because we are scared of getting picked back up.
Finally, Onyx and another chick are thrown into the box with us. We are all crying now. Army style, we crawl towards each other.
“What’s going on here?” Daisy cries.
“I don’t know, but I’m scared!” Prim cheeps.
“Help us!” I chirp as the lid on the box is closed.
I can’t see a thing in the dark box, but we use our voices to let each other know where we are. Now, we huddle up in the middle of the box, Prim and Onyx, asleep. I have no idea how they can sleep on the hard box floor.
Suddenly, the box shakes and I hear some foreign human voices. I can’t understand what they are saying, but I know it must be horrible.
I can tell we are in the air now, being carried by the humans. One of them shakes the box hard and I go flying into a wall. Ouch. I cheep in disgust and the stupid humans coo at me. Do they think that I am cute? Do they think that my pain is funny? I’m mad now.
And, where in the world are we going?

 

[Magic Birdie]

I'll have to read these later

 

[ChickLover98]

I had to make them longer since chapters in real books are like 15 pages long.

 

[ChickLover98]

CHAPTER THREE REVISION

The box continues to shake and sway and we can’t see where we are going. Now, we are all scattered about the box, trying to steady ourselves, as we are bounced about the thing. More human voiced are heard as we are being bashed about.
It is freezing cold in the dark box, with no light to keep us warm. My two least favorite things, darkness and coldness are all that I have right now. Yahoo. It’s so quiet. Finally, the chick that we don’t know breaks the ice.
“Hi, what are your names?” it chirps out.
“I’m Primrose,” Prim answers.
“Hi, I’m Onyx,” Onyx responds.
“My name is Daisy,” Daisy cheeps.
“And I’m Cloudy,” I finish.
“Hi everyone, I’m Lilly. Nice to meet you,” Lilly chirps.
I can tell Lilly is a bit awkward. She stumbles about a lot and can’t quite see right. She’s very sweet, though. She is very nice and fun. “Nice to meet you, too,” Prim says, for all of us.
We talk with Lilly for a bit, and then we all get tired and fall asleep. I have a horrible dream, too. I am in a dark tunnel and I can’t find my way out. Onyx is at the end of the tunnel, but no matter how fast I run, he never gets closer. I hear his voice encouraging me to keep going, but instead, I fall because I am too weak.
I’m moaning, telling him that I am sorry that I can’t keep going and he turns around and walks away. I lay there, crying.
And when I wake up, I’m on the floor of the box, crying. Everyone thinks I’m still sad because of the whole box thing, but it was the dream that upset me this time. What could it mean?
Now, we are no longer in the air, we are sitting down on something. We just don’t know what, because we are still in the box. There is a loud noise that sounds like an angry roar that startled us all. Then, there is a constant whirring sound and we all get thrown back to the back of the box.
Wherever we are going, there are lots of twists and turns. We are jostled around the box, yelling and cheeping in fright.
I accidentally ram into Onyx. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” I squeak sadly.
“It’s ok, Clouds,” he answers. Oh, wow! He’s got a nickname for me! Clouds! It’s so pretty! I feel like dancing around, but instead I am thrown to the opposite side of the box, where I ran into Daisy.
“Sorry!” I call to her.
“Its fine, just watch where you’re going!” she responds.
It’s kind of hard to control where you are going when you are being thrown around in a small box. Eventually, we are all bruised up and painful from that bumpy ride. Ouch.
The bumps come to a stop and the whirring sound is shut off. I hear a door opening and we are being picked up again. The box sways back and forth and we are thrown around again. Oh, joy.
We are carried up some stairs and I hear another door. Onyx, Primrose, Daisy, Lilly, and I are on separate sides of the box, to minimize the chances of bumping into each other again. I am in a corner, where I peck out a bit of the box so that I can see what’s going on outside.
It reminds me of being in the egg, not being able to see very much. I don’t like the feeling.
We go through a doorway and into a cool room where there is a small plastic tote box with a heat lamp over it.
“We’re here, guys! Come look!” I call out.
Everyone comes dashing over and takes a turn looking through my hole. Pretty soon, everyone has made holes to see out of.
We are set down on a table and the human that was carrying us walks away. We cheep in disappointment, wishing that it would put us in the warmth again. We are all hungry and thirsty and shivering because of the cold.
I stare out my hole and see the human return. It picks the box up again, but we are not headed toward the brooder! It walks us across the kitchen and out a back door.
What we see astonishes us.
From our holes, we see a small flock of 20 or so chickens! They are roaming around in lush green grass, hunting for bugs and seeds. It’s the best thing we’ve ever seen!
I’m shaking with excitement! I just can’t wait to get out of this box and run free! I watched as we were carried further out into the field. The human set our box down and opened the lid. It said something in its language and began to pick us up and set us down in the grass.
I didn’t struggle this time, because I was glad to be here. When the human finally put me down, I cheeped happily. The grass felt great on my feet, and the temperature outside was perfect.
I waited for the human to put down Prim, Daisy, Lilly, and Onyx, before we set off, running. We jumped, scratched for bugs and played until Onyx suggested that we go introduce ourselves.
“I don’t know, Onyx. They might not like us too well,” Prim said, worried.
“Come on, Prim! It’ll be fine,” Onyx assured her.
“Nyx, I’m not sure about this either,” I say, shaking my head.
“Guys, don’t be wimps! Let’s go!” he shouted, taking off in the other direction.
Great. Now he thinks I’m a wimp. And he’s going to get us killed!
“Onyx! Wait!” Daisy yelled after him.
In a mad dash, we all took off after him. We met him in the midst of all of the other chickens. None of them had feathers on their feet. Apparently they were all laying hens, like Daisy, Prim, and Lilly. They were about twice our size and fully feathered. I was scared. There was a large rooster in the center of the hens, who were mostly a cream color, some with a bit of brown.
The rooster was the most powerful thing I’ve ever seen! He was much taller than all of the hens and strutted around the place like he owned it. He probably did.
We followed Onyx, who walked up to a hen.
“Hi, I’m Onyx. What’s your name?” he asked, politely.
The hen was not inviting. She squawked at us and puffed up her neck feathers. We were so scared; we took off running into the empty part of the field. What would happen to us if the hen caught us

 

[ChickLover98]

I'm getting new chickens! That means I will be adding new chooks to my story!

 

[Magic Birdie]

Quote:
Yay!

 

[ChickLover98]

Quote:
Yay!

YEs! Now I need to think up some new names!

 

[SuperChickenDude327]

Then start writing!!! I've read it all, gone through at LEAST twenty pages of nothing! Not presuring you.

 

[ChickLover98]

Quote:
I'm just about ready to post the chapter four revision!

 

[ChickLover98]

CHAPTER FOUR REVISION

The hen chased us for a bit, and we were running for our lives, until the rooster noticed.
He walked over proudly after the hen had us cornered. We were cowering in fear. We were dead meat for sure. Finally, he said, “Stop, now. It’s ok”, to the hen, who shook her head and sulked away.
He towered over us as he looked us over. “Who are you?” he clucked to us.
“I… I’m Primrose,” Prim spoke up.
“I’m Daisy,” Daisy said, almost whispering.
“My name is Cloudy,” I said, shaking.
“And I… I’m Onyx,” Onyx stuttered.
The rooster seemed to be examining us carefully. We were all shaking and staring back at him in fear. Would he hurt us? Does he not want us here? What would happen to us now?
“Hello, I am Jasper. Welcome to the flock. Sorry about Flower. She’s not friendly toward new members. I see we have two show Cochins here, am I right?” Jasper said, surprisingly nicely.
Here we go again with the whole ‘show bird’ thing. I rolled my eyes in my head.
“Yeah.” I sigh, “Nice to meet you, Jasper.”
“Nice to meet you, too, little ones. Let me show you around.” Jasper clucked.
Wow! He wasn’t being mean to us! I figured out that the reason why Flower was trying to intimidate us was because she was trying to show us that she was high on the pecking order. She is Jasper’s mate and she is the Queen of the Coop, for sure.
I am so relieved that Jasper doesn’t want to make a meal out of us. He leads us into a big barn across from the field where he shows us where the food and water is and where we sleep. It’s a good thing to have him around, or my first instinct would be to sleep on the ground, not on the roost.
Prim, Onyx, Daisy, Lilly, and I will never leave each other’s sides. There are too many hens here that may want to take a bite out of us.
Jasper tells us that we can go explore if we want to, so of course, Onyx takes off across the field and into the tall grass. I didn’t think that that was a good idea…
I go to follow him, bouncing off into the grass, when something catches my eye. I take a closer look and see that it is a bug! This will be my first shot at catching a bug! On closer examination, I see that it is a grasshopper.
I take a lunge at it, but it hops onto another piece of grass. I pounce at it again and it zips away. I continue chasing it into the taller grass, when I finally catch the thing!
It tastes so good! The best thing I’ve ever eaten! I peck it and swallow it and then I’m on my way to go find Onyx.
Its tough getting through the deep grass and visibility is limited. I’m alone, too, so it makes it much more difficult. After tripping a few times, I spot something black in the distance.
“Onyx! Come over here!” I chirp at him. I receive no answer, and I get worried. I make my way over to the clearing where Onyx was and see that he is lying on the ground.
“Onyx! Are you ok?” I shout frantically.
“Clouds?” he asks quietly.
“Yeah, Nyx, what happened?” I ask, worried.
“I’m fine, I think. I just twisted my foot on that rock over there,” he says, sullenly. He points to a big rock.
“Oh, well can you stand up?” I ask calmly.
“I think so,” Onyx chirps. He shifts his weight and realizes that he is able to stand with minimal pain. “I’ll be ok,” he finally tells me.
“Good. Just be more careful and wait for us,” I tell him. I hope I don’t sound too much like his mother. We finally make out way back to where Prim, Daisy, and Lilly are standing.
“Is everything alright? What happened?” Lilly asked.
“Yeah, I just twisted my leg, that’s all. Good thing Clouds found me, though,” Onyx says, smiling.
“I didn’t do much, really,” I answered, smiling back at him.
“Let’s go get something to eat, now that we’re done getting stuck in holes,” Prim said, giggling.
“I didn’t get stuck in a hole. I twisted my foot on a rock!” Onyx remarked.
“I know. Just ask Daisy what she did earlier,” Prim laughed.
“Hey! I didn’t see that there was even a hole there!” Daisy said, defending herself.
“Right…” Prim giggled.
We walked to lunch together, laughing.
Almost two weeks have passed at the farm and I finally have a decent amount of wing feathers. They are soft and smooth and very fluffy! They seem to curl upward instead of laying flat. They’re also a pretty blue color that is very unique. I like them.
Onyx’s feathers are just a bit bigger than mine and they are black and shiny. He is also a bit bigger than me now, too.
Primrose is small and dainty still, but her feathers are coming in nicely. They are pure white and she has more tail feathers than the rest of us.
Daisy’s feathers are blackish brown and she has some pattern on them that I can’t quite tell what it is. She is still a fairly large chick and still has that bit of a temper.
Lilly is bigger than Prim, but smaller than Daisy and me. Her feathers are a creamy white with amber coloring on them. She told us that she was an Amber Link and that she would look like the hen that chased us earlier. She is sweet, but a bit wacky.
I think I’m finally getting used to this farm life. I think I’m starting to like it here.
We are hanging around in the barn, since it is rainy today. The other hens have finally started to accept us, instead of ripping our feathers out, every chance they get. Jasper protects us, but when he gets mad, you wouldn’t even want to be in the same barn as him!
I’m sitting on a perch with the gang. I hope someone will start a conversation soon, since it’s so boring in here. I’d much rather be romping around in the soft grass, catching bugs with Onyx. I sigh and snuggle up on my perch. Onyx puts his wing around me.
I finally fall asleep, after hours of boredom. I dream of mealworms on a bright spring day. The only downside to spring is the rain. Otherwise, it’s quite pretty, and full of life!
When I wake up, I see that everyone is gathered at the doorway. The rain has let up for now, but it doesn’t seem like its going to last. I get up quickly and make my way to the door.
“What’s going on guys?” I ask, poking Prim. She grins and I giggle. She’s a lot of fun to hang out with sometimes.
“The humans are coming,” she yawned.
“What? Why?” I ask.
“I don’t know, something about treats,” she says, shrugging her shoulders. She shakes her head and fluffs her feathers, continuing to preen herself.
“Oh,” I say, slouching. I’m about to drift back off to sleep, when I hear a great racket. I bolt up, startled, and I look around frantically. What’s happening?
The humans are approaching with bags full of bread! I jump up and down, in an attempt to see over the tall hens, but they’re just too big for me to see over.
I see a white thing zip across the coop. Everyone runs for it, including me. I get trampled on and pushed out of the way.
Then, another piece is thrown. This time, everyone that is not fighting over the first piece is going after the second.
This time, I am smarter and hang back.
Another piece is thrown and while everyone else is obsessing over the first and second, I have a chance to go for the third. It is bigger than the rest, too. My wings feel all tingly and I run as fast as my little legs can take me!
I grab it and yell for my friends. We find a cozy corner and share the bread where no one else can get to us. I split the bread into five equal pieces, one for each of us, and we sat and ate quietly while everyone else was being pushed and trampled on fighting for the rest of the bread.
The bread was so good! I will eventually become a master bread hunter and get some for my friends and me to share, every day!
Well, I’ve still got a long way to go.