You don't pay me enough to be your "work wife"

[TinyChickenLady]

Anyone else have to be the work wife at their office?
Ya know, the person that the boos treats like crap every time he's in a bad mood?
The kind of person who will belittle you as much as possible if it helps him get into a better mood.
He's the kind that likes to reem you out a new "poo hole" when there's an audience there to listen.
This is the kind of boss that you've been warned about time and time again.
He's the kind that will joke and flirt and tease when he's in a good mood and then will stomp all over your self esteem and patience once he's ticked off.

Anyone have to deal with this crap? Or am I the only one living in an alternate universe where it's okay to treat people like the crap they find on the bottom of their shoes?

P.S. My mother also works here and we don't have a very healthy relationship. She usually tells me to just take it or find another job.
We have had issues in the past where I've tried talking to her about things "boys" have done to me and she has told me "I bring it on myself." She says they wouldn't do things like that unless I provoked them.
So obviously, she isn't a good person to vent to about.... ANYTHING.

Uggghhh!! Okay, vent over. Feel free to judge and HUG.

 

[punk-a-doodle]

Not for long, because I don't stay there. I used to try to stay and 'just work harder', the boss is always right after all, but now understand that in many situations, that is just going to make you the underpaid work mule and resident door mat. Sucking up often will result in 'moving up the ladder', but that's not for me. It took a while to learn the lessons over the years, but now have no problems putting in my two weeks (and I'm very, very honest on the exit interviews, which let me tell you, they don't see coming from a meek mouse like me). Don't regret it either as I now have *two* awesome managers. Just had to go through maaaany jobs to get there. Both my husband and I are extremely easy going people...at least according to coworkers/friends/etc, but when it comes to managers, we find the types of people in those positions (probably worsened by more modern management courses, ie. looking good on paperwork even if you can't manage your way out of a cardboard box with a bone saw) are...generally not our kind of people. Heck, my husband walked out of a comany dinner once, because the co-founder used it as an excuse to reem out the staff for things they didn't even do. He stood up, put his napkin down, and left that paid for dinner. Sent a pretty clear message apparently as she was made to apologize to the staff. Heck, I think our coworkers still have a folk song about that day. XD

I don't feel like you bring it on yourself. I do feel like you sound a bit like past-me. That you could benefit greatly from being in a different, supportive environment around people who support you to be assertive (not a jerk mind you, but able to stand up for your own rights and boundaries). It sounds like the current environment you are in is the exact opposite of this.

 

[TinyChickenLady]

Well as soon as I find another job, I'll be giving my notice.
Unfortunately for them, they need me pretty bad here. I do a majority of the work here along with my mother.
My boss doesn't even know how to do half the stuff I do or what it's for (yet he still finds reasons to yell at me about it).

They will be pretty hard up without me. I hate to do that to my mother but she is starting to understand exactly what it is I have to deal with almost daily.

I will have no problem stating the reasons why I'm leaving but it will fall on deaf ears because his boss is HIS father

I do believe the Dept. of Labor will have a field day though if it comes to that.

I think you're right, Punk. It is a hostile place full of yelling and degradation. It doesn't make me want to do my best here.

 

[MuranoFarms]

I had one of those for awhile. Every time something went wrong she blamed me. It got to the point where I would just say ' let me guess...its all my fault?' This went on for probably a year, until she went on vacation....i took my vacation starting while she was gone. She got back and blamed me for everything wrong....and I hadn't been there for a week! It was so ridiculous everyone started pointing it out to her and several people mentioned it to the owner. After that I think she was afraid to blame me even when it was my fault! Lol She left 6 months later and apologized to me that day. I almost quit over her several times. If the entire staff hadn't been behind me, I dont think I could have stayed. Unfortunately the next manager was worse! Lol Ironic, right?

Hang in they until you can find something else.
(((hugs)))

 

[featherfinder]

I would be going to his father or being writing and letter to him explaining what is going on at his company. State clearly your veiw and what is happening to you and others around you and that it is not a great work enviornment for anyone who is there and has to deal with that. Put in idea's of improving the place and making it better.

 

[RHRanch]

I won't stay at a job where people don't hold themselves to a standard of professional behavior. I have walked out in similar situations saying that I will return to work when I get an apology and an assurance that the offender will only ask me back when he/she is ready to do his job and leave the drama at home. I refuse to fight, argue or reason with people with bad attitudes that want to bully me.

 

[TinyChickenLady]

Quote:
I wish I could. But this is a HUGE family run business. Daddy won't fault his son for anything because then he would have to come back up here and supervise. And he can do no wrong. It's a private, family run business with many offices all over the state. There's nothing I can do.
I've even tried talking to my boss, but he interrupts me and won't allow me to talk.

I'm supposed to be the adorable robot who does everything right (which I usually do) and let anyone walk all over me while continuing to sit here and look cute.

He loves me in the summer (ya know, when I'm wearing less layers). But come winter, he gets stressed and takes it ALL out on me.
I'm not saying he's ever put moves on me but he will comment if I'm wearing shorts or have my hair curled (he loves my hair).
I sometimes think he originally hired me because of my looks.

@RHRanch, I've wanted to do that so many times! Unfortunately, I can't leave until I have a back up.

I've been here for 3 years. I don't get paid what I should. I don't always have enough work to keep me at a 40 hour week. I can't afford to leave on a principle until I line something else up first.

 

[frostbite]

I've had good and bad bosses, the bad bosses I didn't work for long.

But "work wife" doesn't really describe a bad boss to me; I am happy to be treated with the kind of respect and caring that I get in my real life "wife" role.

I get what you're saying though. I hope you find a new boss.

 

[featherfinder]

Quote:
I wish I could. But this is a HUGE family run business. Daddy won't fault his son for anything because then he would have to come back up here and supervise. And he can do no wrong. It's a private, family run business with many offices all over the state. There's nothing I can do.
I've even tried talking to my boss, but he interrupts me and won't allow me to talk.

I'm supposed to be the adorable robot who does everything right (which I usually do) and let anyone walk all over me while continuing to sit here and look cute.

He loves me in the summer (ya know, when I'm wearing less layers). But come winter, he gets stressed and takes it ALL out on me.
I'm not saying he's ever put moves on me but he will comment if I'm wearing shorts or have my hair curled (he loves my hair).
I sometimes think he originally hired me because of my looks.

@RHRanch, I've wanted to do that so many times! Unfortunately, I can't leave until I have a back up.

I've been here for 3 years. I don't get paid what I should. I don't always have enough work to keep me at a 40 hour week. I can't afford to leave on a principle until I line something else up first.

I know what you mean. I work at a company just like that. Dad owns it but son runs it. Lucky me they are all super nice here. Its everyone is family here. My aunt works in the office with me and the my uncle and fiance out on production. The thing with here is even though we are all still family and family ran the owner AND the son listen to us. Plus the could care less how many clothes we are wearing lol. The son just had a niece working here, he gave her every chance in the world to stay and do things right but finally had to fire her. I would file sexual harrasment charges on your boss. Im sure it makes you feel very uncomfortable and you can use that agenst him if you do file the charges. Really sounds like you are better off just getting out of there. Let them figure things out on their own. If you lived closer to me i would tell you to apply here. We are looking for another office person at the moment.

 

[Spookwriter]

I can't imagine some full grown man wanting a "work wife".

It's misery enough to have a mean wife waiting at home every night.
To have to got to work and put up with the same thing? I would have
to quit. Couldn't stand it.

What sane man would want two wives? Not me...no way.

Spook...who sometimes isn't sure ONE wife was a good ideal.