You know it's time to clean house when.......

[justbugged]

Quote:
With my luck, that "sister wife" would bring 14 kids who are even slobbier and smellier than my own.

That just wouldn't be right.

I belong to the Shoot, Shovel, and Shut-up club. Then I would try again for another better model of wife like a Stepford one. OH and no kids! I have enough animals already and may want more of my own.

 

[Eggs4Sale]

Quote:
With my luck, that "sister wife" would bring 14 kids who are even slobbier and smellier than my own.

That just wouldn't be right.

I belong to the Shoot, Shovel, and Shut-up club. Then I would try again for another better model of wife like a Stepford one. OH and no kids! I have enough animals already and may want more of my own.

If only they had a roomba that cleans fridges, bathtubs, and toilets. And does laundry. And cleans up vomit. And mops the kitchen floor. And cooks dinner. And sews on Boy Scout merit badges. And takes out the trash. And feeds the animals. And shops for appropriate and tasteful, yet inexpensive Christmas gifts. And bakes chocolate chip cookies. And gets the dried Play-doh out of the carpet. And runs the Girl Scout meeting. And drives the kids to violin class......
You know, if I can't have a Roomba that does this, I want something else.... a limo window. You know the one that goes up and gives privacy to the limo passengers so the driver doesn't know what sordid things are happening back there. I want that. Badly.

 

[justbugged]

Quote:
That just wouldn't be right.

I belong to the Shoot, Shovel, and Shut-up club. Then I would try again for another better model of wife like a Stepford one. OH and no kids! I have enough animals already and may want more of my own.

If only they had a roomba that cleans fridges, bathtubs, and toilets. And does laundry. And cleans up vomit. And mops the kitchen floor. And cooks dinner. And sews on Boy Scout merit badges. And takes out the trash. And feeds the animals. And shops for appropriate and tasteful, yet inexpensive Christmas gifts. And bakes chocolate chip cookies. And gets the dried Play-doh out of the carpet. And runs the Girl Scout meeting. And drives the kids to violin class......
You know, if I can't have a Roomba that does this, I want something else.... a limo window. You know the one that goes up and gives privacy to the limo passengers so the driver doesn't know what sordid things are happening back there. I want that. Badly.

I'll buy one of those. I don't care which one either. I am saving my egg money for it.

 

[bargain]

You know it's time to clean house when the real estate appraisor comes by and writes the appraisal and says you have 300 square feet and you say wait I know I have a 3500 square foot house and s/he says well, I couldn't get around and measure the walls because of the mess and boxes...

Case of the shrinking house again....

Or, you walk in after a hard days work out side and look at clothes to be mended on the sofa, folded, mail to be read and handled there, a cat or so there and you just sit on the floor.....

Or, a new friend comes by and you just say I'm sorry for my mess and refuse to let them in and they say, Oh I see you just got vandalized, Can I help you clean up? LOL......

Smile and have a blessed day.

 

[StupidBird]

 

[StupidBird]

Yup, I live with three vandals myself....

 

[wasatusay]

I am never ahead on the house stuff, but I am never too far behind, I just never can seem to catch up.
But my two porches are a different story. I never see the front porch until winter. It has so many plants on it, it looks more like a jungle photo from National Geographic in the Congo.
The side porch with all the bins of bird food, dog food, duck food, spider webs (leave them up for the hummingbirds to have webs for nest building) yea that's it....the dirt, dead weeds and grass the chickens scratch up onto the pad, the cart of tools of the day, trash bins, grill, dog toys and other junk that gets put there as a drop off point because someone is too lazy to carry it another 50 feet to the garage. You can see the porch swing but it would never enter your mind that it looks inviting or restful. The chickens hanging out waiting for the next victim to beg for a treat or the little roo's sitting on the kitchen window watching in to see what's going on inside...It is so bad some days you will find me sitting and relaxing on the porch of the chicken coop sipping my coffee. But you don't dare bring a snack unless you want to be mobbed and have it taken away. I think maybe there is something wrong when the chickens have a better porch to hang out on that you do.

 

[bargain]

You know it's time to clean house when:

You find the want ads from the newspaper that are 10 years old when you last looked for a car....

You find your daughter's retainers and she moved away from home 13 years ago.....

You find your maternity clothes and you know you cannot ever use them anymore....

You find your New Year's resolutions from 1990...... (and the first one was clean and organize the house)

You haven't unpacked all your moving boxes and it's been 5 years since you moved.

You keep thinking of reasons why the house cannot be clean.....

When your Mother's Heloise's cleaning tips props up the leg on the table that's not even.

............................

mmmmm........

 

[Felicia]

When you actually have to wear a mask to walk into the house....

I helped clean out an elderly woman's house, and you seriously had to wear a mask (and glooves) when you walked in - that's how dusty it was. She was a hoarder, and it was a all day job with over 8 people cleaning a itty bitty tiny house. She collected everything imaginable - I found a new paper older then my dad, and he is 47! Everything had SO much dust and/or cat pee on it...I felt so bad. Its not healthy for someone to live like that....I was just glad I could help her out.

 

[Tala]

Quote:

I have told my husband this.

I told him that I needed to marry a "housewife" so that I could go out and be the out-of-the-house worker-type (even if it's just working outside or on the car) and dinner would be ready for me when I got in. I think it majorly sucks to work on the car all day and come in hungry and THEN have to cook for an hour before you can eat. Fast food (and fat husband) here I come!!