You think English is easy??

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by Farmerboy16, Sep 8, 2011.

  1. Farmerboy16

    Farmerboy16 Rebuilding my Farm

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    I got this email from my neighbor, and thought that I would share with you guys. I loved it. [​IMG]

    1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

    2) The farm was used to produce produce.

    3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

    4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

    5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

    6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

    7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

    8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

    9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

    10) I did not object to the object.

    11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

    12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

    13) They were too close to the door to close it.

    14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

    15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

    16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

    17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

    18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear..

    19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

    20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?




    Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig..

    And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

    If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

    How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

    English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

    PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?


    You lovers of the English language might enjoy this .

    There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'

    It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ?
    At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?
    Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UPa report?
    We call UP our friends.
    And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.
    We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.
    At other times the little word has real special meaning.
    People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.
    To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.
    A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.
    We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

    We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!
    To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary.
    In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.
    If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used.
    It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.
    When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP.
    When the sun comes out we say it is clearingUP.
    When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.
    When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.

    One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP,
    for now my time is UP,
    so........it is time to shut UP!
    Now it's UP to you what you do with this email.

    Don't forget that you can also:

    ford a ford
    or
    implement an implement.

    [​IMG]
     
  2. Glenmar

    Glenmar Chillin' With My Peeps

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    I always admire folks who can understand English as a second language. It is not easy for sure.
     
  3. TheJuan-n-Only

    TheJuan-n-Only Chillin' With My Peeps

    Sep 10, 2010
    Tampa
    TELL ME ABOUT IT!!!!!! English IS my 2nd language and it is not easy......funny email!!!! [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  4. WooingWyandotte

    WooingWyandotte Overrun With Chickens

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    Apr 25, 2011
    Nor cal
    Ha, I think the only other known language harder than English is Chinese. Linguistic professers may disagree, but that's my opinion.
     
  5. Matthew3590

    Matthew3590 Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Middle, TN
    Quote:Anyone having to learn a new alphabet wrighting style would say its the hardest.
     
  6. dianaross77

    dianaross77 Chillin' With My Peeps

    Oct 10, 2010
    Grand Blanc, MI
    I guess that's why I find it irritating when Americans are offended when immigrants don't speak English. It's difficult to learn. I lived in Guatemala as a child and it took me some time to learn Spanish and I still couldn't write with proper grammar. Spanish is much easier to learn than English.
     
  7. welasharon

    welasharon Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Jun 28, 2010
    North Florida
    I teach Spanish in high school. I will borrow this! I was told in my studies that English and Chinese were the two hardest languages to learn.
     
  8. Angiebubs

    Angiebubs Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Aug 19, 2011
    Amery, WI WI/MN border
    LOVE THIS thank you for sharing
     
  9. TACEYPERKINS

    TACEYPERKINS Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Mar 2, 2009
    Medford,Oregon
    Very funny email. Try explaining these funny nuances to a child that is just learning. He will totally look at you like you just grew a horn out of your forehead!
     
    Last edited: Sep 8, 2011
  10. debilorrah

    debilorrah The Great Guru of Yap Premium Member

    Quote:[​IMG]
     

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