Funniest Things A City Slicker Has Ever Said To You?

had trouble with a teacher on this exact subject, but I sang "DOGIE" with a loud voice and great zeal that some of the students were either singing it like me, or it was messing up other students.

as punishment, she moved my desk outside of class. I always liked it outside anyways, that way I could see all the dragonflies and bugs and such. She also still wanted me to sing with the class from outside, so I sang louder and greater zeal, which made the other teachers mad at her and that would send me to a trip to the principal.

gig.gif


what is wrong with these city folks??

Well, I sang dogie, and when I look at the nonsense over Big Gulps and the silliness in the White House and other points urban, I just remember that day and it all makes a kind of weird sense. B^)

I wish they'd have set my desk up outside because I sure hated school that year. That was the same year that the teacher drew a circle on the blackboard and had everybody saying it was a square. I was in tears because I knew the difference between a circle and a square, and I kept saying so, and I was scared to death because I saw how everyone else in that class would have fallen into line in a dictatorship or a lynch mob. And I was only about ten years old then. That day with the circle on the blackboard I felt something physically break inside me and I don't think I've been quite the same sense.
 
Maybe the cow is from San Francisco? I've seen a lot of male two-legged critters with udders over there.

Maybe. But unlike humans, in the case of the bovine, pregnancy is necessary for the development of the udder. When I find out exactly who is responsible for that cartoon and how to get in touch with him, I have some interesting questions for him.
 
Maybe. But unlike humans, in the case of the bovine, pregnancy is necessary for the development of the udder. When I find out exactly who is responsible for that cartoon and how to get in touch with him, I have some interesting questions for him.

Maybe the bovine is in the middle of transitioning from one gender to another? That doesn't require pregnancy. B^)
 
Maybe the bovine is in the middle of transitioning from one gender to another? That doesn't require pregnancy. B^)

While transferring from one gender to another may not require pregnancy, developing an udder does. Heifers do not develop an udder until near the end of their term of gestation. In humans breast development is a sign of maturity. In the cow it is a sign of pregnancy. If a cow never becomes pregnant, she won't develop a functioning udder no matter how old she is. Therefore that "bull" in Back in the Barnyard is really a cow, and a mother, masquerading as a bull. Bet the creator of Back in the Barnyard and The Udder Avenger never thought of that. I would LOVE to have the opportunity to tell him.
 
While transferring from one gender to another may not require pregnancy, developing an udder does. Heifers do not develop an udder until near the end of their term of gestation. In humans breast development is a sign of maturity. In the cow it is a sign of pregnancy. If a cow never becomes pregnant, she won't develop a functioning udder no matter how old she is. Therefore that "bull" in Back in the Barnyard is really a cow, and a mother, masquerading as a bull. Bet the creator of Back in the Barnyard and The Udder Avenger never thought of that. I would LOVE to have the opportunity to tell him.

I know that! I was just satirizing the confused attitude of urbanites regarding the differences between humans and the stock. I mean, only a city slicker would put an udder on a bull. B^)

I had a very good orthodontist who was retired who agreed to treat my very arthritic jaw joint (the joint had been broken when I was nine years old and the jaw was never treated and caused serious problems over the years and surgery had not made significant improvement.) He treated his few patients that he kept on in his living room. I used to bring him eggs; one day he told me that the chicken was pregnant. It turned out there was a meat spot in one of the eggs. I assured him although unattractive, the egg was edible, and that the chicken was not pregnant.
 
I know that! I was just satirizing the confused attitude of urbanites regarding the differences between humans and the stock. I mean, only a city slicker would put an udder on a bull. B^)

I had a very good orthodontist who was retired who agreed to treat my very arthritic jaw joint (the joint had been broken when I was nine years old and the jaw was never treated and caused serious problems over the years and surgery had not made significant improvement.) He treated his few patients that he kept on in his living room. I used to bring him eggs; one day he told me that the chicken was pregnant. It turned out there was a meat spot in one of the eggs. I assured him although unattractive, the egg was edible, and that the chicken was not pregnant.

Let me make it clear I have the utmost respect for the man in question - but he had spent his entire life NOT around livestock.
 
So my cousins visited this past weekend from Roswell. As I was sitting inside talking with the older folks Saturday evening, the young cousins came in screaming that all the chickens were dead and missing their heads. I've had coyote trouble lately, so I frantically ran out...


All the chickens were asleep with their heads under their wings.
roll.png
 
Last edited:
My dear mother came for a visit and seemed quite perplexed. After going to the coop to retrieve the morning's eggs, I came back indoors to see her shaking her head. She proceeded to say the following: "Dear, women have progressed a long way. You do not have to do this type of thing any more. There are plenty of eggs at the supermarket.". -made me giggle! She doesn't get the whole "chickens in the backyard" thing at all.
 
lol, today one of my best friends came over and we went into the back lot to see the chickens. She gasps at the size of the turkey. "Have you ever touched it?" I said "Yes, lots of times, they are sweet!" Her "Oooookay..... TOUCH IT! Touch it!" I start to go in the pen,
"NO! Wait! Don't touch it!!! You might die!!!!!"
hide.gif
"It's okay Brianna! He's sweet!" Her "okay, BE CAREFUL! Okay?" me "Okay Bri." I reached out for my chicken Henrietta to make her move away from the gate and she was pecking the rhinestones on my nails, that and she likes the color pink, anyway, my friend grabs me and pulls me back and yells "NOOOOOO! Ew!!!! You let her peck you?!?!? "
ep.gif
me "yeah, all the time. And she sits on my lap and has ever pecked my eye before. No big deal." her "EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!! Come on, I don't want to see you touch the turkey that bad..." LOL!

He is huge. About 60lbs!
 
Last edited:

New posts New threads Active threads

Back
Top Bottom