Funniest Things A City Slicker Has Ever Said To You?

[ChickChickChicky]

cassie, I've got to agree with you about dairy cows, I do believe that in general that they are very well treated... because a happy, contented cow gives much more milk than does one that's mistreated. I read a story just the other day about some farmers even giving their milk cows massages http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/dairies-pamper-cows-massages-waterbeds-16447764 . However, I don't think the same can be said for many factory beef farmers, or factory hog farmers. Animals raised for meat are generally going to yield about the same amount of meat, no matter whether they're standing in their own poop up to their bellies or pasture-raised, which is a very sad thing indeed. I do think that there is a vast difference in taste and quality between feedlot beef and grass-fed beef, same for pork. And just don't even get me started on factory-farmed chickens, no matter whether they're raised for eggs or meat. I have already been warned by moderators for talking on THAT subject.

And I think we need to clarify the term "factory farm". I think even a dairy that's milking thousands of cows could still be considered a conventional farm IF THEY'RE TREATING THE ANIMALS WITH CARE and not just as so many widgets or "items" that are completely expendable.

 

[llandry]

Oh No, I'm the city slicker!!!!! I've been known to have a few "blond" moments in my day and this past weekend i had a funny one.

My husband and I took our kids to a local farm to pick up our three new baby chicks. We never had chickens before and were so excited. After our chicks were packed up, I saw a coop that had a lot of really cute chicks in them. I asked the owner what kind they were and he said "Silkies". I said oooh, they're cute do they lay eggs? He looked at me really strange and said uuuh yeah.

It wasn't till the ride home that it dawned on me that he had no idea that I meant were they plentiful egg layers.

 

[franklinstreetwest]

This thread is going to keep me entertained for days!! But I had to skip ahead so I could add my stories.....

Jackson, Michigan. Jackson County Fair...
There is a fair entry for "fence mural" you can compete by painting an 8'x8' board with one of the themes that the fair selects: Animal, Fair Scene, Rural Scene, etc. Allowing for some imagination and loose interpretation at times. In the youth class, a boy entered to paint "Animal", and did a FANTASTIC mural of a frog on a branch. He was a gifted artist and it took him far less time than the other kids (myself included). When he was finished I would hear people sniping about how he should be disqualified because it was the "ANIMAL" class and he DID NOT paint an animal, he painted a FROG!!! He was eventually disqualified for not painting an animal. And the next year they ammended the fair entry book to read "Animal or Bird" for the class entry. It read that way for years, and it may still! That took a board room full of people to come to the decision that a frog was not an animal and that they had to additionally define birds as included in animal....what the heck was the frog, a vegetable???

Overheard in Howard's Feed Store in Jackson. The feed store is downtown in a fair sized city, it's a bit out of place, but they have chicks and various other meat projects:
Woman Customer: Phew...that must be one TIIIRED momma to have all them babies!! (shaking her head while looking at the chicks)
Clerk: Chickens don't have babies like that, the chicks are hatched from eggs. (Said kindly and matter of factly)
Woman: EEEGGS!!??! Chicks come from EGGS!??......(shaking head trying to grasp concept)...Man, I'm from the city, (laughing at herself) I don't know this stuff! I didn't know chickens came from eggs!! (still chuckling)

Stupid Thing I've Said.... I was 17 or 18. Apparently I had never actually spent any time in a city to this point....My friend and I were driving around Lansing, Michigan on a cool night and the steam was rolling out of the sewer grates
With honest, slackjawed astonishment I exclaimed,
"I didn't know steam REALLY came out of the sewers!!?! I thought that only happened in movies!!" My friend still tears up with giggles remembering that moment. And I still laugh at myself.

Another Stupid thing I've Done..... At a tattoo parlor with a friend that's getting extensive work done. The guys decide to initiate the new girl (me). The guy in the corner tells me he just got a new tatt with blueberry scented ink.... Now the smarter side of me could read the room and know they were yankin my chain...the gullible runt inside me caved to their game and sniffed the tattoo. It did make them roll with laughter and then they could move on and I wasn't an "outsider" anymore cuz I could take a joke.

 

[barnyard pimp]

I live out in the country, surrounded by fields and they are everywhere. Behind my house is a couple of fields that are a little over 80 acres. Always have crops growing in them right. Well, one spring had this "city slicker" says... how does that guy keep all the grass in that field so green. It has no weeds and is cut all the same height? I say, you mean that? As I point to the field. That there is wheat! The stupified look was down right funny!

A few years later another "city slicker" comes out and sees the same field and it is full of corn. He looks at me and says, it would suck to be a mexican. I said what do you mean? He looks at the corn and says, those guys got to pick all that. My eyes opened wide as if I saw a spooky something. I said, you ever see a Combine? A what he says? A combine, it harvests the corn. Dude had no idea, totally clueless!

 

[chiques chicks]

Ah, the memories of the last few years you're bringing back! My city friend is slowly learning... Combine (corn and wheat - combine), the tractors on the road with various implements, their fascination with seeing cows for the first time, Amish on Sunday morning going to church, deer/rabbit/squirrel/etc tracks in the snow (and knowing what/how many). The list goes on!
As long as they keep thinking mowing grass is fun, I'll keep teaching!

 

[barnyard pimp]

I shouldn't be like that. It is funny though. They guy with the wheat field killed me. Here is another one. I live near West Point VA. I came out of the store one day, a "fancy" couple was sitting in there car. When I came out they had a perplexed look. First, question out of the husbands mouth was where is the Military Academy? Well, he couldn't of meant "THE" Military Academy in New York. At the fine young age I said "huh"? He says this is West Point right! It clicks and I'm thinking I got him at this point. I tell him that he is in West Point Virginia and there is no Military Academy here. He needed to go to New York to find what he was looking for. The wife looked like she could have won an argument. Man gave me a slight nod and rolled the window up. I had the biggest grin on my face!

 

[shadow rabbit10]

I just got the BEST question from this "know it all" girl in my school. Here is our conversation:
Girl: Hey, did you get your chicks?
Me: yes I did.
Girl: Are they going to become chickens?
Me: What?
Girl: Like, will they be chicks forever, or will they turn into chickens?
Me: A chicken is an adult chick.
Girl: *walks away embarassed*

*Face palm*

 

[PaulaSB12]

If you want a city slicker moment you should have seen me chasing one chicken back into her run (they can't come out until wings have been clipped)

 

[Griffin Nest]

Wow... just...wow

I hope that know-it-all learned her lesson

 

[ForeverSunshine]

Wow!! Where do you live? I came from one of the biggest milk producing areas in the world. Some of those dairies are milking 3000 or even more cows. That would be a factory farm. The cows are not "squished together standing in their own waste". They are in free stalls, which are rows of stalls under a roof with a concrete alley between the stalls. The cows go into the bedded stalls when they want to lie down and otherwise they wander around the barn or go outside into the corral. The concrete alleys in the barn and in front of the feed bunker are automatically flushed with water at least twice a day. Cows in the big factory farms are often a lot better off than those on small dairies, because some of the small dairies cannot afford free stalls and the cows have to cope with mud in the winter. Tie stalls are not used where I am from, but I have seen tie stalls and they were not at all like you describe. Even in tie stalls, you can't keep cows "squished" together anyway because they must be able to lie down and get up, and you can't have them standing on each other's udders. Many of the cows in our large factory farms are milking over 30,000 pounds of milk per year (310 days). A gallon of milk weighs 8.6 pounds. Cows that are mistreated, mismanaged, and ill fed simply do not milk well, and that's a fact.

This I didn't know. Where I'm from, I definitely see mistreated chickens. Those I know for a fact are dying in terrible conditions, as I see first hand the Tyson trucks taking them to some factory somewhere. As for cows, I go by undercover videos. You know, when people pretend to work there or actually get hired to tape what goes on there? Also, I kinda thought it was similar to what (most) beef cows go through. My dad (Who is, by the way, very smart when it comes to agriculture) told me that they're fed corn to make them fat until they get butchered for say, McDonald's. He described what it was like.....I guess I kinda put two and two together....Sorry 'bout that! I suppose I was mistaken.