My son's (9) mental health crisis...UPDATE - HE's HOME!!

[pricem11]

Very cool! Congratulations!

 

[ozark hen]

thank you for letting us know. good luck.

 

[mom'sfolly]

Yipee!!!

 

[Bubba]

I really don't want to comment on any of this.

For your Sons safety and future you may want to talk to him about what he can and cannot say in school. If the kids there even catch a whiff of him being in a psych hosp they will tear him apart. It will follow him till you leave the area. It will affect your other children to (Thats the crazy kids Sister, etc), hopefully your Daughter hasn't commented on it to any of her friends. Children are like little pack animals, they sense a weakness or blood and they move in for the kill. The worst thing is its not a quick death, they can attack for many many many years.

You need to come up with an excuse for his absences. One as simple as my Mom and Dad are having problems so I need to spend time with both of them will suffice most kids curiosity. I can't stress enough that he cannot tell anyone his age even his friends. Adults usually aren't mature enough to let a mental disability go, kids are even worse. I hope this helps you and your family.

Bubba

 

[arlee453]

Thanks, Bubba - believe me, we've already been thinking about how others would react. That's something they actually tell them during counseling sessions - what to say when they are asked where they were.

Their suggestion is just to say, I was sick, I was in the hospital, I had a lot of tests and am feeling better now. Then change the subject.

Susan

 

[Bubba]

Thats still an open invitation for attack. Its hard to change the subject when its 5 kids asking SO...WHAT were you in the hospital for. If he says the wrong thing one time it'll get around, if he says one thing to one kid then something else to another.... It just gets real messy real quick.

He would be better off saying Anything about Parental problems. (Many kids have parents that are having problems, are divorced, the Dad left...Kids understand and usually take pity over something like that) He could say he has a rare blood condition thou that carrys the risk of having him alienated by his friends not wanting to CATCH what he has. Sometimes in life you have to LIE, its not something we ever want to teach a child but life is not black and white. Life is harsh, hes already learning this I just hope he doesn't have to fight more than his psyche in the future. He has enough problems at the moment, having kids pick on him may very well make it worse for him and your family. You don't want your daughter to start getting into fights trying to protect her little brother. Even thou she is a sweet smart kid, watching your little sibling get picked on can change that VERY QUICKLY! I know you dont want that.... Saying he was bedside with his Grandmother, just about anything besides that he is sick. Kids will never let up on having to know HOW or WHAT he was sick with....
Hope this helps you. Everyone in your family will have a tough road ahead. If he ever has a problem let him know there are millions of people with his problems. He is not alone. He is stronger than the voices, they cant make him do anything they can only try to convince him to. Even if he feels a compulsion tell him it helps to close his eyes and clench his muscles tightly for a few seconds just to reassure himself that he truely is the one in control. I would of course wait on offering him any of this advice until you are sure he is still battling it.

Why God would make a person that has to fight themselves everyday for their whole life is beyond me. It truely is hell. It is one of the reasons I lost my faith many years ago. No one should have to feel that type of pain, let alone carry it with them their whole life.

Bubba

 

[arlee453]

I'm so thrilled with how Jacob has done since he's been home - such a change in him from last week when we had to take him to the hospital.

We went to the fair today and he had a great time with the other kids - very much back to his old self.

Now we just have to get him slowly integrated back into the regular school day over the next few weeks.

If you're still keeping up with this thread, thanks for reading. It's been good therapy for me to write out what's been going on. I don't want this to sound the wrong way, but Bubba's post makes me think about how much I appreciate being able to write out my thoughts here.

The anonomity of the forum makes it possible to say what is really happening and get support from you great folks without saying TOO much and hurting Jacob. For Jacob's sake, I've been rather vague when asked what happened, etc except for very close family. It's been very good for me to be able to come here and say exactly what is going on and get some support from you nice folks on top of 'venting' my own feelings. It's been MY form of therapy through all this.

Thanks so much!

Susan

 

[JaciesCoop]

I just now read this thread and feel your pain. We have been going through the same thing with our 15 yr.old grandson who we have helped raise. He has been in and out of treatment centers and still has some bad times. He will be on meds the rest of his life. He lived with us for 5 years with his father and sister so we saw this develop.
It's such a painful process. His sister has suffered also because she has felt ignored through all of this and I'm sure to some degree she was.
This is life altering for the entire family.
Bubba has some good thoughts. Just be careful he is not branded at school, especially by the teachers because once they are they can never shake it.
My prayers are with you and please say one for our Brandon.

 

[ozark hen]

we are all here for all of our chicken family when needed.

 

[mom'sfolly]

School counselers can be a great resource, but it depends alot on the school. Kids can be viscous, but you don't want it to be a deep dark secret that your son must keep. If he has anxiety issues, this may just add to them. I'm so sorry for your situation, and so glad your son is home. If we help in any way, I'm glad. When my mom went through her crisis last year I had many friends to lean on, and I found out just how many of them had family members with mental illness. Just being able to vent was so helpful for me, so vent away.