This is the first year I do not have Thanksgiving or Christmas with my Mom... About early spring Mom had become
quite ill actually going septic meaning the infection was in her blood..
Going back many years ago my Ma a we called her back then.. she bore three children, me being the youngest
Ma had a pretty tough go of it my half sister was on the way when she married the man that would father my brother
and I, he was not around long as Ma did not appreciate him having temper tantrums or hitting her, she cold cocked him with
a cast iron skillet and drug him out the front door.. he never really wanted us to be around but wanted Ma to not have either...
She worked 2 jobs trying to give us a home for a time my Grandmother lived with us to care for us while Ma worked..
Her first great love the man that would become our Dad.. after one year he asked if we wanted to move to Washington state
We spent all summer moving from Wisconsin to Washington via Wyoming and California not much to their name
we moved lock stock and barrel to 60 acre farm called the Halfway Ranch Dad would say they raised weeds and kids
in what use to be farming community of Maple Valley ..
Ma found herself a Widow at 38 as Dad being 6'3 had the heart and veins of a man half his size had taken him at 52.
Ma was devastated but refused to grieve in front of me her youngest and only child still home......
Ma did pull through as did all of us in that trying time.. I left for college that fall Ma sold the farm in that time moving to
Kent (Covington subdivision) selling the cattle, chickens and pigs with the farm my horse had
been sold before I left for college so coming home during summer break was bittersweet..
There where to be major adjustments for both of us living with neighbors very close..
My third year home from college Ma had started seeing a man Wayne was a carpenter by trade
cabinet maker doing many beautiful pieces but also putting some light back in Ma's eyes....
I left back for my last year at that college graduation was in 6 months... knowing Ma was now happy with her
second great love was enough for us not to worry... Wayne had become quite special to all of us over
the years I left for Alaska spending the next 16 years in Juneau growing away from my siblings and Ma....
She and Wayne moved from the farm he rented to Bonney Lake the year before I left Juneau
I led a busy working life kinda grew apart from her I was always at dog shows for Holidays
Would stop mid week at times take her to lunch at time but did not seem to have allot time.
as I turned 52 my body started getting even with the life I had chosen my left acl tore then
I had a stroke of small but damaging nature having to retire from my profession life
One day at home my Mom called she said that Wayne was starting to have severe memory lapses
and they could sure use my help.. I still had my 2001 42 ft Beaver Contessa from showing dogs and a older
32 ft travel trailer I had had since it was new in 92.. so I brought the trailer over with the bus and hauled my travel trailer and
my truck behind the bus that way I could stay in one but was not going to leave either one unattended.
Mom was right Wayne was fading fast he did know who I was but neighbors he would forget so he walked in the summer evenings I went with him
as I couldn't move any faster than he did... He would come out to the trailer come in for cup tea saying that women was making him take pills
(this was my Mom the women) within a month Wayne was bedridden and hospice nurses where there 24/7 we lost Wayne just before Christmas
of 2012 they had 32 years together, this was a horrendous blow to Ma she asked me to stay at least till summer she knew I really could not work anymore
I agreed to stay helping her on the house. Graves disease had taken over my body before it was done I was legally blind unable to work
becoming totally disabled.. I had a home in Grapeview Washington prior to heading to Ma and Wayne's but had sold it since
By summer I moved to Buckley just up the road my Ma did not stay long as I suffered another small stroke after leaving the hospital I was put with a
caregiver in Shelton she worked with me getting me to walk and think more adding subtracting basics a few times she took me to see my Ma.
several time's , she had agreed to sell her home stating she could not afford the repairs the house and garages needed
moving into a trailer the court my Brother lived in with his girlfriend.....
Within two months Ma said she and Laird (my Brother) his girlfriend Brenda would buy property to live in with houses for both parties...
At the same time my best friend, his adult son and I had decided to buy a home together also, my Ma and Laird found a home in Yelm that she
would buy a manufactured home to put on the property. Richard and I picked her up took her to dealer in homes she made a contract with one
paying for it from the sale of her and Wayne's home. within a month her home was delivered and set up and everything seemed fine.
'I received a call from Laird they had taken Ma to hospital her blood had gone septic... My brother then told me Ma was getting to the point she wasn't
able to function on her own anymore, she would forget the most simple things or forget things on the stove now she was falling down needing a walker
to assist her... our trio had moved to a property in Mossyrock a hour from Yelm ... Mom had always loved my best friend and his son James.. she had been three of 4 times
she came over to help plan for house warming we were intending to have... Ma woke me in the middle of the night she had fallen waking up startled at where she was
saying she was scared... I sat up with Ma while she slept my caregiver helped me get Ma to eat something the next morning.. Ma stayed another 4 days unable to negotiate
our 3 concrete steps to come outside so Richard would carry Ma out down the step put her in a lawn chair while I did my outdoor work... after 4 days Ma asked if she could go back to Lairds ....
My Brother was fairly upset when I talked to him because she wanted to come back to her place... He then told me she had not been living in her home for a 2 months
but staying with them but to bring her back up there.
They took her back to the hospital that night Ma loosing her two great love's was ready to join them.....
We knew Laird had a power of attorney over her last wishes but he could not find it. Ma was hooked up to a respirator and a
feeding tube another one for antibiotics as the blood was still septic this was taking her memory and bodily functions quickly..
By the time my brother found the medical directive they unhooked her but she had been brought back by what they did get in her..
Ma was placed in a assisted living home early September 2016..
My new Normal... Learning to live without her is one of the hardest things i had ever faced, when we go to see her her mind wanders
into unknown realm only she can be in then she will be there 3 minutes talking but then gone wanting to just sleep..
Holidays where special we would talk daily
We did loose her during the night going peacefully in her sleep.
MY New Normal..............
Cherish your family as if each day as if will be the last I love you never goes out of style...
I will miss her eternally until we meet again
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