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Hot potato.

Because

GaaAAHHHH MY NASAL CAVITY ITCHES AND THERES NO WAY TO SCRATCH THE INSIDE OF ONES SKULL

So did it work this time

Edited https://docs.google.com/document/d/1WADGfpxs06qNkfETS5e2idV0ARutm-CWmiegOLi2Jt4/edit?usp=drivesdk

A poem

I guess I forgot how this works. I'll do something

Wait what. What stories

Okay, I did read all of this, and it is 10x better. You might need to read over it one more time, though. There's a misspelling near the middle, and I feel like the end is less polished than the beginning. The chickens could also use some 'busy work' to do while they talk, because you don't want...

It is more constructive? I felt like I was still being mean. Hmm. Good.

I actually like the beginning of this one better. It's still a bit long for the given stage, though.

Gaaaaarhhhhh I know you probably don't know what Wakanda really is but you're killin me here. Change le name. Also. When writing stuff like this, I see people try an go into immediate detail of the surroundings and globbing big fat flowery writing everywhere like old nail polish. Doooon't...

Wait. Did you post one or

rOaSt

No, not really. I'm really just looking for characterization

:cool: Want kudos give effort :cool:

I feel like this writing is very flowery and there's not much going on. Why she was leaving the house was interesting, but I feel like you could have said that another way, rather than just telling us. Remember to ask yourself "can the camera see it?" while writing. Another thing you can do is...

Then wrote for some year olds

Good job! What was your inspiration for writing this? I'd also like to know why you chose to call humans two-legs when birds have two feet also. Much bird. Is there rain? Are these adopts? If so, I like it better when they have pre-packaged personalities. Seems easier to get attached to them...