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"You have a rooster, right? How else would they be laying eggs?" 'No...I don't.' "But then how do you get eggs?" 'Do you need a boyfriend to get your period?' "Ew, eggs are chicken periods?" 'Jesus....no. Not really. Different concept, same idea.' "Um, what??? All I understood was that I'm not...

“Wait, why don’t you have any white eggs? You have a white chicken!”

“Do you dye your blue eggs?”

“Do you know what breed she is?” “Umm….what did you buy her as?” “I didn’t, I hatched her. Our rooster is a Barred rock and our hens are Wyandottes. But even after hours of googling, I can’t figure out what breed that makes!”

You have 1 bantam Cochin. Come on. Mel is fine and normal and cute. She lays more eggs than a bantam Cochin ever will. She’s also a lovely color.

The what? Whatever it is, sure.

Yes it does. We all do it sometimes.

Seeing as I’m not an adult yet, I’m not sure what my plan is for the future. But I know two things: One: I will have chickens again. Two: I will always come back to Oregon. The chickens part…I don’t need to explain. Y’all understand. But I want to stay in Oregon. Nothing against the rest of the...

I live in a non-urban part of Portland. We have some nice forests.

Emma, if for some reason I need to get rid of Mel, she’s coming to you. That way you can own an Orpington and see for yourself that THEY’RE JUST NORMAL CHICKENS.

Nah, Oregon is the best. Peaceful forests and oceans and rain beat funnel cake.

*offense*

Well, exactly. But it’s rare that someone has a gun to a kid’s head. And people sometimes do bad things with guns if you leave them laying around. So it doesn’t make sense for me, personally, to have one.

😂 :smack

Will you just shut up for a second? :smack

You’re funny. But I’m serious.

I’ve never killed a thing in my life. Except maybe a spider. And I even feel bad when I do that. Even if someone had a gun to my head I don’t know if I could kill them. No person is completely bad. I know I sound cheesy right now, but I would feel unimaginable horrible if I killed someone. I...

No, to call the cops. Jeez.

I still couldn’t live with myself if I killed someone. If they went after my chickens, maybe. But still.