➡I accidentally bought Balut eggs: 2 live ducks! Now a Chat Thread!

[debid]

Four little chickens on the roost without me having to move anyone tonight!

 

[NanaKat]

Yippee!
We put Itsy Bitsy and her momma in the pen by their stall. Gave momma a nice tub of feed. Plenty of room for them to do the heifer momma shuffle around the tub. Momma finally stood still for I B to suckle while momma ate her feed.
NO Squeeze Chute!
This is Huge improvement and a big relief.
AND Itsy Bitsy got so much milk she refused her bottle!

 

[Ursuline Chick]

Well, we seem to be ending the weekend on a positive note. Hope this is happening for all our chicken peeps. DD took my little pumpkin home, I took pain meds and my shoulder feels pretty good. I'll be ready for work and taking care of the big pumpkin this week. IB won't go hungry, hen and chicks will all join there flocks and some one will make their 5 years . All is good with the world. Rant away my chicken peeps, it seems to work for all us crazy chicken people. So glad we have each other,

 

[NanaKat]

Well, we seem to be ending the weekend on a positive note. Hope this is happening for all our chicken peeps. DD took my little pumpkin home, I took pain meds and my shoulder feels pretty good. I'll be ready for work and taking care of the big pumpkin this week. IB won't go hungry, hen and chicks will all join there flocks and some one will make their 5 years . All is good with the world. Rant away my chicken peeps, it seems to work for all us crazy chicken people. So glad we have each other,

For you too!

 

[littleprairieheartsfarm]

Yippee!
We put Itsy Bitsy and her momma in the pen by their stall. Gave momma a nice tub of feed. Plenty of room for them to do the heifer momma shuffle around the tub. Momma finally stood still for I B to suckle while momma ate her feed.
NO Squeeze Chute!
This is Huge improvement and a big relief.
AND Itsy Bitsy got so much milk she refused her bottle!

That’s great news!

 

[ShrekDawg]

Yes. But we have another cow with a calf born with a crooked leg..wobbly knee. Had to bring them up and splint the calf's leg. She is a mature cow with a huge milk bag. We are letting Itsy Bitsy suckle this cow in the morning as well as her mother and at 1pm. Then she gets her mother and a bottle at night. We put both moms in the squeeze chute with a bucket of feed. Little momma is making more milk, but still kicks off her baby for now...it is a learning curve.


Less sleep than normal always make me off my game.


Thank you...we are fine. The storm that hit El Reno tracked thru OKC and over our property in Prague... knocked down few huge trees.
Tornadoes that kill are heartbreaking. I feel for the families.
We have received 13.5 inches of rain this month with more coming tonight. Never have we gotten this much rain in one month.


No...not your fault. You are not doing the incubating.

Yeah, I think the lack of sleep this week and all my sweet teas has definitely been doing it ha idk why I haven’t been sleeping but it’s annoying and I gotta figure it out. I seem to stay up late and wake up early and not be able to fall back asleep. Maybe I just need to start going to bed earlier haha although I can’t always get to sleep right away even then. Or if I do sleep it feels like I haven’t. And at least twice now I’ve fallen asleep with my light on. I guess I stayed up pretty late, maybe thinking or something, and just passed out. Woke up early to the light on and never went back to sleep.

Well, we seem to be ending the weekend on a positive note. Hope this is happening for all our chicken peeps. DD took my little pumpkin home, I took pain meds and my shoulder feels pretty good. I'll be ready for work and taking care of the big pumpkin this week. IB won't go hungry, hen and chicks will all join there flocks and some one will make their 5 years . All is good with the world. Rant away my chicken peeps, it seems to work for all us crazy chicken people. So glad we have each other,

Thank you. I am feeling more confident now that I am gonna make it. And oddly I saw a lot of posts on Twitter today that were exactly what I needed to see/read haha so that was helpful.

And I even started looking into therapists haha today was a lot better. Clearly.

Didn’t get far into it but found a website that lists a bunch so was reading some of their profiles and found a few that looked cool. Nice enough I mean. Next step: actually calling them and trying to get an appointment or at least try a bunch of different ones to see if I like any or doing the phone consultation thing or whatever, idk, however it works to get it going/actually see one. But I don’t think I’ll get to that next step anytime soon.

I just hate talking on the phone anyway let alone to make a therapy appointment lol

I don’t even make any of my own appointments as is like doctor and dentist and stuff.

Course we all see the same ones and have for years so they know my parents so my mom usually just does it since they know her and it’s easy but still. Really should do it myself but ehh. Probably will eventually if and when I get a new doctor.

But for real, I won’t even make a freaking hair appointment! Ha my hair’s needed to be cut for months. Wanted my mom to do it and she keeps forgetting. And I won’t. Horrible anxiety talking on phones. And in general. But on phones it is worse. And I also tend to mumble and kind of stammer and/or talk really really quietly and just generally be incomprehensible. plus I just hate it. So I just don’t do it. I do it with family cause I have to but even then I don’t like it and try to get off the phone as quickly as possible most of the time haha with close friends I will cause I am much more comfortable with that and even enjoy talking to some of my really good friends on the phone or on FaceTime or whatever. But usually I hate talking on the phone except for those limited circumstances.

Anyway, I also don’t want my family to know I’m trying to find a therapist so I can’t ask them to call. Well, I think they kind of already know, we all agreed we should all see one. So they know I want one but we haven’t talked about it in a while. So they don’t know I’m looking or anything. And I don’t want them to. And besides, I don’t want someone trying to tell them what my issues are or leaving certain stuff out so I’d rather just do it myself and be honest so I can find the right one. And fast.

But I hate phones so I have a feeling that won’t get done...

Most of them do offer email too but I’m afraid I’m way too long winded for that.

And besides.... it involves feelings.... and emotions.... and sharing them.... not so great with that... I mean, on here and online I kind of am, idk, easier with strangers I guess, but even then, most people don’t know everything, and even though you can’t see it through a screen, even just talking about it and typing it gives me some anxiety too. I guess it’s because I’m actually thinking about it and bringing the bad shit up instead of burying it but I get all fidgety and weird and get all tight in the chest. ****, I could barely even tell my best friend growing up about my SH. I don’t even know when I told her. I think I only told her when she kind of started figuring stuff out herself senior year so then I had to. But even then, I invited her over and we went for a walk in the woods around our house and sat on a log out there but I wouldn’t sit down at first, kept pacing around, wouldn’t even look at her. I finally did sit down but still wouldn’t really look and was all fidgety. I finally did tell her but it took me literally probably like at least an hour to finally spit it out. I wanted to but every time I started to say it or get to the important part, I would get all weird and nervous and stop. Idk, it’s awkward and uncomfortable to me and I hate talking about stuff so I would just freeze up. It was really hard to talk about and I think I was a little scared. Idk. I just couldn’t get the words out. I finally did but I’m just not good with that stuff. And that was my best friend. And then there were a bunch of people in college I struggled to tell too, roommates and friends and stuff. I did start to tell one once but I don’t think I ever actually did. Idk.

I did have an amazing best friend/roommate though. We’re still friends and more like sisters ha she’s amazing and really gets me and she’s so nice. She really helped me a ton too because I was going through a lot of stuff back but she still wanted to be my friend. But even with her it took me a while to get comfortable enough to tell her anything and even after I did, there was still a lot of stuff I lied about and covered up and didn’t tell her. Usually to avoid upsetting her. But we were together practically all the time and she would just sit with me and hang out most of the time. We’d watch movies or go to eat or draw or whatever. Just hang out and keep me company. And we talked a lot too once we were close enough. About most anything really. Lots of normal funny random friend stuff but also had quite a few serious talks too. I was really struggling at the time and had only just recently gotten clean so she really helped me a lot. She even would write me letters/notes ha I still have some of them and read them when I’m feeling down. And usually cry. and she started this thing one time where she made me write down 5 things I liked about myself every single day. And they had to be different every day. And I’m pretty sure she made it more specific like that it had to be personality or something positive and actually hard instead of just something easy like only looks or something. But that might not have been one of the requirements. Idk. But point being, I actually had to think long and hard and come up with real answers, not just cheating ones ha it was really hard too at first. I could barely think of anything good. I had horrible self esteem back then. Still somewhat do. but it eventually got a little easier and I was thinking of things faster and even now I can usually do it. But back then I couldn’t at all so it was a big deal to me. Idk, she’s an amazing friend. We’re more like sisters haha I’m lucky I found her. But sorry. Idk what the point of that story was. Kinda ended up bragging about her I think the point though was that even with that amazing of a friend I kept stuff from her. And I keep stuff from my own family. They don’t know basically anything. But the weird thing is is even back then I told some of my online friends or random people. Idk. Needed someone to tell I guess? And online is easier. I think part of it is I was/am afraid of disappointing or upsetting anyone. So shit like relapses or just how I’m truly feeling when I’m having a hard time, is hard to get out. Even with you guys, I’d like to think we’re all relatively close now, or at least friends or know each other, so it’s even getting a little harder to tell some of you stuff cause you’re not “strangers” anymore haha that’s good though. I don’t wanna be. Just means I care about and like you guys since I’m worried about upsetting people or failing anyone ha

Anyway, there goes the verbal diarrhea again.

My original point and very long winded way of saying this was that feelings are sometimes hard for me so that combined with the phone call/anxiety thing and not wanting anyone to know or call for me, I’m not sure I’ll ever call.

I also have a history of saying I want to go to therapy and then flaking.

Even when I had free therapy at my last school I didn’t go. I almost did a couple times and some since then that’s not free but every time I wanted to go I would either chicken out and get scared and not go or I would convince myself I didn’t need it anymore. One time I was clean for over a year so I told myself I didn’t need it since I had been doing well being clean. Yeah..... I broke 2 months past the year mark. So much for not needing help, right? or I would tell myself I could do it on my own or just me and God and I was plenty strong enough without therapy... also utter bull crud. Not that God didn’t help, He did and has a lot since then (though my relationship’s been pretty back and forth/wishy washy), but clearly I also need professional help.

Yet I would come up with every reason under the sun why I didn’t and why I was fine. A load of horse rubbish.

I’m just worried I’ll do the same this time.

And I needed it way more then yet still didn’t.

So I’m pretty scared I’ll do the same as well as very scared about going.

Sorry, I know this was VERY long winded and VERY awkward/negative.

Oh and I am very glad we all have each other too. I love all of you guys.

For you too!

X2 to everyone.

 

[ShrekDawg]

Now I have more of an over sharing problem.

But even still...

The real crud is still hard to talk about and not many people know about it.

The SH stuff I’ve kind of come to terms with it over the years and it’s a lot easier to talk about it. It just kind of seems like the distant past now but still just part of who I am or how I got here or whatever. I can talk about it no problems usually. It doesn’t upset me or trigger me or whatever like it used to. Although yesterday was the first time in a very long time that I wanted to relapse or even came close to doing it. So that was a little scary. And I clearly still struggle with it even though I thought I didn’t. So the recent struggles with it and the emotions/issues causing it I still kind of struggle with and those are obviously harder to talk about being so recent but the rest I can usually no problem ha but there’s a lot of other stuff besides the SH that I really can’t talk about and don’t and it’s a lot harder too. Idk. I don’t have as much “practice” talking about that stuff I guess cause I normally never do.

So the therapist is gonna have fun

 

[ShrekDawg]

But anyway, sorry to keep making it about me and keep making these huge posts and keep being so depressing.

Someone else’s turn to rant/vent now! Hah

Either that or maybe someone has a more chipper topic.

 

[CSAchook]

But anyway, sorry to keep making it about me and keep making these huge posts and keep being so depressing.

Someone else’s turn to rant/vent now! Hah

Either that or maybe someone has a more chipper topic.

Not exactly chipper but...what do you think of Broadchurch so far

And also

 

[ShrekDawg]

Not exactly chipper but...what do you think of Broadchurch so far

And also

I just finished season one tonight and OH. EM. GEE. Was NOT expecting any of that!! Lol don’t wanna give it away in case anyone else wants to watch it but I totally thought it was a different person!!! Lol

I love it though lol I’m addicted!!

And thank you.