What a beautiful mental picture! You might be related to Crazy Lady.
If I may offer a suggestion, if you don't have a large fish net with a long handle, they are invaluable for catching chickens before you tame them.

If Mr. Nightclub doesn't fish, Walmarts carries them in the sporting section.
My brother got guineas. They got out outside of the coop before they were conditioned to be home. And away they went. Over the hill, through the woods, never to be seen from again. Literally watched his money run away. is that better than flying away? LOL