5 Year Old Barber

[CityGirlintheCountry]

Does elder daughter like her own hair style? Shaving her head might be too far, but perhaps everytime she cuts her sister's hair you could cut hers. Make it really ugly. OR cut the hair on her favorite Barbie or doll. Or cut up her favorite clothes/things. Do something drastic and keep doing it everytime she cuts her sister's hair. She is now being defiant. She understands that she is not to cut her sister's hair. It doesn't really matter WHY she is doing it at this point.

I also like the "you can't be trusted so you have to stay with mommy" idea. Make sure she is with you for lots of really boring stuff. I might go as far as to not allow any distractions. She has to just be with you and sit. If she can't be trusted with scissors, clearly she can't be trusted with anything.

Option C is to take away her favorite things. Mommy and Daddy have said do not do this. If you do this we will take away X and put it away until you are big enough to behave yourself. If the woobie goes into storage for a while perhaps it will help her remember.

Good luck. The stubborn ones are the hardest to raise, but they usually turn into the best adults. We just call it persistance in adults.

 

[Marcymom3]

My kids are grown and I have two grandchildren. When they do something wrong while in my care, I tell them a story about a made up child who did the same thing with terrible consequences. Food for thought, so to speak. At the risk of sounding like I'm bragging, my stories have been successful in curing nailbiting, reducing fighting, encouraging the eating of vegetables, and improving sportsmanship. They are usually pretty outrageous, but think about the stuff kids watch on tv. If it's not sensational they're not listening. A lot goes a little way, you know?

In this case, I would tell a story about a little girl who cut her sister's hair. I would make her a mean little princess with a name like Prunella Gertrude. In addition to hair butchery, she also picks her nose and passes gas at the table. (See what I mean about being outrageous??) Cutting her sister's hair is the last straw and the King and Queen tried everything (use the list of stuff you've done so far here). Finally they went to visit the fairies who live in the castle attic. Together they decide that the fairies are the last resort and they just have to do something about it. So the next time Prunella Gertrude cuts her little sister's hair, the fairies put a spell on her and day by day her hair begins to fall out. One morning she wakes up to find a pile on her pillow. Long strands fall into her Captain Crunch. A bald spot appears right in the front where her bangs used to be. Prunella gets up the next morning and pulls the stool up to the bathroom sink to brush her teeth and sees that she looks looks just like Grandpa Plum who is bald on top. And the hair continues to fall out. Big clumps in the bottom of the bathtub, long strands in the middle of her library book, a handful comes out when she takes off her backpack after school.

The fairies come to Prunella in a dream and tell her that if she gives her Dad the scissors she used and promises never to do it again her hair will start to grow back. Prunella decides to give it a try. Here's where you let your little girl finish the story. You will be able to tell a whole lot about why she has been doing it from her ending. And you can suggest that she doesn't want to be like Prunella Gertrude Plum. When you add your ending, be sure you include the little sister princess loving up on her sister even though her hair was a mess, and of course, the King and Queen must celebrate her reformation.

Good luck!

 

[cafarmgirl]

Whatever you do don't make threats that you do not intend to carry out. If shaving her head is one of those then don't say it!

What I would do in this situation requires some effort on your part but since other things haven't worked and it is ongoing you need something a little more drastic. Also since sissors and a 2 year old are involved it needs to stop now! I agree she's being defiant with you at this point!

I would remove EVERY-SINGLE-ITEM from her room. Good opportunity to sort and donate anyway. Leave her a pillow and a blanket. Maybe you'll just find those scissor's after all! After she goes x amount of time without touching her sister's hair she can earn back whatever you choose. Her bed, her dresser, a favorite toy, whatever. More time on good behavior gets her more of her things back. Bad behavior looses her stuff.

Another option maybe to try if that's too drastic for you is sending her to bed every night immediately after dinner. No TV, nothing. Dinner, bath, bed. Good behavior equals getting to stay up a little later. Bad behavior equals earlier to bed every night. Could also use this to get her to 'fess up about where she's hiding the scissors. She's pulling one over on you and she knows it!

Good luck!

 

[redhen]

YOu need to lock up all the scissors and sharp things that "cut". And i also wouldnt leave her alone with the little one anymore.
And actually, i WOULD cut off some of her hair(make it ugly), just to show her how it feels.
The wedding comes second to teaching her a lesson...

 

[TinyChickenLady]

Quote:
I agree with this wholeheartedly!!

The wedding comes second to teaching her a lesson

This is true as well. Curls for the wedding will cover the lesson you're teaching her. But if she wants her sister's hair to look horrible then her's should too.
I've heard of children losing everything out of their room except a bed and blanket and it has worked. She knows what she's doing is wrong and it does seem to be bordering on dangerous so it needs to be taken care of in a very drastic way IMMEDIATELY.​

 

[ChickenAlgebra]

By now, I'd reach the point of there is going to be MAJOR punishment for this behavior. It's unsafe for your 2 y/o, if your older daughter is cutting hair when she's mad at her sister.

First - her room is ENTIRELY emptied out. Everything. Even the dresser. She gets a mattress on the floor, a blanket and a pillow. Nothing else. She gets her clothes from you or your wife for the day. Anything else is a reward for being a well mannered child, she's not being one in disregarding your rules, so she doesn't get things.

Second - since she's climbing furniture to reach scissors - leash her. Snap the leash on the belt loop and she gets to be 6 feet from you or your wife ALL day long. She can't be trusted on her own, so she needs to be contained so you or you wife need to make sure she's within reach at all times.

Third - if she is this naughty in day to day life, I'd have her call your FSIL and brother and explain that she's sorry, but she's not allowed to be in the wedding because she's doing x and won't stop when told to. She's old enough to tell someone why she is not allowed to do an event. Only children who are well behaved get to do events, if you can't trust them in day to day life to not do something, how can you trust them to handle an event.

Fourth - all that's done, she gets the hair cut herself. Just lop it off at home, don't make it even or nice. Once she's stopped with this behavior, and her sister's hair has grown back, they can both go get their hair cut nicely.

 

[xchairity_casex]

imo with her reaction "i dont like her hair" and then your saying "her hair took a long time to come in"
im guessing everyone made a big fuss over her and her hair which caused your 6 year old to feel very jelouse sounds to me like she is trying to remove anything that could make you or other people give your 2 year old any attention.
with some kids (including my own sister growing up) donot want the otehr sibling to get any attention from mom,dad or strangers. me and my sister are 4 years apart she was always so jelous of me my mom tells us that she would wait to get me alone then do somthing to get me into trouble.
you need to be firm and let ehr know that nothing seh can do is going to make her little sister disappear

 

[CrazyFowlFreak]

Quote:
Absolutely. I don't know how long it takes to get the mail, but your DW should take the kiddos along with her, at least the 2 year old. Then there is no temptation to misbehave.
She's 5, not 15. I think some of the recommended punishments in this thread are way too harsh for a small child, and one or two, imo, are inhumane and degrading. You need to get a lockbox and lock up any scissors or anything else that could be used to cut the baby's hair or injure anyone. I wish you the best of luck. Kids are something else, aren't they?

 

[ChickenAlgebra]

Having raised children already, I'm not seeing anything listed that is extreme. A 5 y/o knows right from wrong, and she knows this is wrong as she's sneaking in the cut and trying to hide the cut hair. It's also EXTREMELY dangerous.

I treat my young children like I listed, the behavior is very short usually and I have very few problems with them as teenagers, when they are bigger than me and can get physically nasty if they wanted to. Yes, I've put ACV in the kid's mouths before. Yes, I've taken EVERYTHING out of their room because they haven't earned the right to have things that are fun in their rooms. Yes, I've leashed my kids to me. Yes, I've made them explain why they aren't allowed to do fun things, even as toddlers. Which is why I now have well mannered, well behaved, polite teenagers.

 

[Godsgrl]

Quote:
I agree with this.