9/11 and I feel awkward about this...

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

9/11 was a rough day for me and it is seared in my memory. I did not lose anyone that day (spent hours worried sick but they were both safe.)

But I have lost friends in Iraq and Afghanistan.

So MIL and her church are having their church picnic at MIL's house that day. Somehow, I am uncomfortable with this.

I promised her I would attend and help with this. Hosting a picnic this big is a huge burden she takes on voluntarily every year.

But, I don't know how they overlooked the anniversary. I am sure there will be some prayer or something in honor of, etc but.....

Am I being over sensitive?

 

[greeneggsandham]

Is maybe the picnic a memorial type one? I know my mom's church is having their regular service, but then a memorial gathering afterwards.

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

No this is their standard summer celebration type picnic. They have it every year usually it is the last week of August but MIL said they kept arguing about the date even a few weeks ago it was on Saturday then they changed it to Sunday. She said she hadn't thought about the date at all until I brought it up.


It's not my church. I help with this every year, but.....

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Our church is having its usual fall ministry kick-off and potluck, but will ALSO have a number of things that commemorate 9/11. To plan a community event and NOT notice the date is very strange. On an earlier thread about the date for a birthday party, I said that unless someone close was personally affected, to go ahead and host it on the child's birthday, that life goes on. Well, that was a private even with a much more limited attendance. A church picnic is by its nature a community even, and will have a much wider list of attendees.

I suggest calling the pastor and asking if there is anything being done to commemorate 9/11. If the answer is "no," then I think it reasonable to tell you mil that this year she will have to do without your help. THere are things worth standing up for, and things that are not. It is important to draw the line.

 

[krcote]

Quote:
Well said.

 

[punk-a-doodle]

You can always suggest to include something about 9/11, or can also decline to go as "you look at this as a day of mourning" and be perfectly justified in doing so. I don't find the fact that they are having a picnic to be offensive or out of line myself. For instance, I know many people who celebrate Thanksgiving quite happily...and then some of my friends spend the day in silence and mourning. They are native Americans, and have a very different view of the day. There are probably celebrations that fall on, using the cliche example of evil, Hitler's birthday in Germany, ones that fall on some of the multitudes of bombings in places like Europe, many celebrations that occur on days when something tragic happened in the US, etc. I always consider it to be proper for people to spend each day, including celebrations and holidays, as they choose, but not to expect anyone else to do the same. That is just my general view on life though. You may find that celebrating on that day helps you remember who and what we have to cherish, and help turn the day into a peaceful reflection. You may find you want to spend it alone, or with others who feel as you do. You may find talking with MIL opens up conversation on the day in a positive way. It is your day to spend, so don't spend it being uncomfortable.

 

[Gladys Rabbit]

I find that I am committed to both a baby shower and my granddaughter's birthday party that day and I really wish they were happening on a different day than Sept. 11. I don't know what I would do instead of attending these joyful events.... maybe sit on the couch and watch CNN, I don't know. But I am uncomfortable with how the day is going to unfold. I understand the OP.

 

[kareninthesun]

I called my church and asked.to have a memorial time at the end of the service and continue it through what is normally the coffee hour. Did a Google search for pictures to print up on postcard sized paper. Two people ordered a cake with flag and. Someone.is making copies of positive reinforcements ...skit guys have an awesome one,and there's other good Christian ones). The goal is to honor and respect feelings. All copied pics will be available for.people to keeping the want. Am not posting graphic material. There's already so much of that around. Let me know.if you'd like specifics.

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

I appreciate the perspectives. It is what I wanted. Life does go on. And I suspect the church will probably do something to commemorate the date at services in the morning. But, it is not my church, so I wouldn't be attending those or feel comfortable speaking to the pastor about it.

I help because it is my MILs church.

DD came home from school and I asked her if they talked about it at school and she said, "What's September 11th?"

She's 9. And I know she knows better, we have talked about it at length actually. We have attended the funerals of soldiers we knew (she only went to one) But, she knows.

I think I'll make the dishes I promised, show up and make nice briefly and depart....... I can go back later to help w clean up. I guess.

 

[debilorrah]

I have WHAT in my yard? :

9/11 was a rough day for me and it is seared in my memory. I did not lose anyone that day (spent hours worried sick but they were both safe.)

But I have lost friends in Iraq and Afghanistan.

So MIL and her church are having their church picnic at MIL's house that day. Somehow, I am uncomfortable with this.

I promised her I would attend and help with this. Hosting a picnic this big is a huge burden she takes on voluntarily every year.

But, I don't know how they overlooked the anniversary. I am sure there will be some prayer or something in honor of, etc but.....

Am I being over sensitive?

Consider celebrating your freedom; it is an honor to those that have lost their lives fighting for it, to see us enjoy it. It is what they died for. Don't let them down.​