A bit of a rant but also a question, dog owner manners..

[dreamcatcherarabians]

I'm one of those wierd horse owners who never inflicts her dogs on anyone. I have 3 Jack Russells and they stay home when I leave or if I have to travel to a horse show they go to the kennel. JRTs are some of the most worthless housebreaking dogs that ever lived, so to take them to someone else's house would be ...... what's beyond rude, abysmal, ignorant, selfish, slovenly? I can't even imagine taking them out in public, let alone to expect someone to crate THEIR dogs inside THEIR home! That's beyond obtuse. I also don't allow strange animals on my property. If someone shows up with a dog in the car, I ask for vet papers and rabies & parvo proof which, of course, they never have. I make them keep the dog in the car and don't allow them to step one foot on my property. Makes for some short visits sometimes, but I've never had to do a repeat performance.

 

[welsummerchicks]

I wouldn't risk putting the lunch meat in with the big dogs.

If your dogs hurt or kill a little dog, you are liable, not the owner of the little dog. A travesty of justice? Oh sure, but never the less that is how things work.

To top it off, you said she is a 'DEAR FRIEND', and if your dogs kill her dog, she probably won't be a 'DEAR FRIEND' any more. If you do care about the friendship don't put yourself in the 'my dog at your dog' position.

Aside from that, as much as you dislike this dog, it is not its fault that it acts like that, it's the owner's fault, and it does have a life and it doesn't deserve to be bitten or killed, and no one can in good conscience say 'why it serves them right' when that happens, because that is deliberately harming an animal to 'prove a point' or 'show the owner what's what', which is inexcusable.

It doesn't really solve the problem of the pooping and peeing in your house to let your dogs loose with the little dog anyway. It's probably more likely to poop and pee when yours are loose in the house anyway.

No, it isn't up to the visiting dog owner to have 'enough sense not to put her dog in with big dogs', number one, she's always gotten you to put up your dogs in the past, and you're changing the rules, probably as she walks in the door, which is what we call 'a surprise'.

it's up to the owner of the big dogs to lay down the house rules, because visitors are always biased toward the choice of 'taking the dog along' where ever they go.

The chihuaha poops and pees in your house, so it needs to stay hme. That's it, end of story.

I'd tell her to leave her dog home if she wants to visit you. Tell her her dog has poo-d and pee-d in your house one too many times, it's over.

 

[taraann81]

Quote:
welsummer you have some valid points. But, I never said I didn't like the dog, nor I have I ever blamed the dog. As you can tell by my posts I really do not like some of the behaviours the chi exhibits BUT I am fully aware that it is less than adequate training on the owners part that has created the problems. Because I was telling everybody the reasons I was irked, it was all the bad points about the chi. She does have good points, she is very gentle with children(which to me seems a rarity in some of the smaller dogs not raised in a home with children).
Nor would I just throw the chi in with the bullys, Like I had mentioned earlier, even a misplaced paw could cause serious injury. I do not wish the chi harm nor would I want my friend to have the heartache of losing her dog.

I guess my original post should have mentioned that I think it is beyond belief that an owner could not/would not see this as rude. It irks me that I HAVE to say something to her.

As a dog owner and a parent I make sure my charges are well behaved in every situation...If I can't do that..they don't come along. Nor do I bring my dogs along to people houses...They stay home.

I have been called too strict by so many other parents and dog owners, but it is not my children or my dogs running around out of control(but I must admit, my youngest child at 2.5yrs is the most challenging of my 3 children, he is SO BUSY...but thats another post

Anways she did not end up coming over last night, she sent an email saying maybe sunday. I will talk to her before that and nicely explain my feelings on the situation. She truly just does not see this as rude, if she did I'm sure she wouldn't do it...but how can somebody be so oblivious??

 

[Buff Hooligans]

Quote:
Your friend is rudely dominating you and household. Figure out if you want to keep her in your life.

 

[welsummerchicks]

The friend probably has no idea she's 'rudely dominating the household'. People tend to not realize this unless they are told.

I was in a similar situation once, resented two very lively dogs being brought over to tear up my yard and use it as a toilet. My dog was out in the yard, but until her dogs came over and started chasing him, he didn't do any harm. All of them, tearing around at 140 mph for 4 hours, DEFINITELY did some damage. If I put mine up, her two, all on their own, did a rather amazing amount of excavating.

How it started, actually, was that a gal who was pet sitting, started bringing her dogs over...at another home of ours, it was where a friend of mine invited a group of people over, with my blessing, but unbeknownst to me, told them since it was a farm, it was the ideal place for them to all bring their dogs and let them loose to 'play'.

There were more big dogs there than at the screen tests for 'Marmaduke'.

I can go on and on about how wrong that is, and how unfair, and how my flowers in my front yard are just as expensive as those in a small yard, and all, but the fact is, every single time she came over, I pretended, I slapped a smile on my face, and let it go on, and my friend had no idea about the seething bubbling lava under that calm exterior...my SO said it was a matter of having the courage to speak up...or not. He said keeping quiet about it was 'dirty pool' on my part, and he was right.

People are not mind readers. Most people have no idea when they're being rude or about all that lava bubbling beneath the surface, especially when, as is usually the case, no one tells them...or tells them clearly, honestly and completely.

No, I am not saying you don't like the dog - that was more for the folks advocating putting him in with the big dogs and if he gets bit up, 'oh well'. So were the comments on it's the owner, not the dog, as other posts seemed to be suggesting it was somehow incumbent on the DOG to learn to poo here and not there.

If you tell them, tell them politely. 'I am sorry, but your dog can't come over any more'.

Of course, it often goes like this.......'WHY?' 'Because this is the tenth pile of poop he left in front of the tv'. 'That's not my dog's poop'. 'My dogs are Bulgarian Bear Dogs, and weigh 250 lbs. Yours is a chihuaha. That is your dog's poop'.

But try to keep it as level headed as you can. 'You are welcome here but your dog is not' never goes over too hot, no matter who it is. Mine was as good as it gets, 'I really do love your dogs, they are lovely dogs, but please, the next time you come over, please leave them at home'.

The fact is, most dog owners just aren't very sensitive to how other people feel - most people in general aren't either. They just aren't. They tend to see things from their side, not the other side. They need a wee it of guidance in this. To boot, many dog owners are very pressed for time, and really need a way to get the dog some exercise and play. Many are too tired (or lazy) to drive the dog to the dog park, or take it for a bike ride, or put it on their treadmill at home regularly. If they take a dog someplace and the person there doesn't complain about it, it WILL continue.

Then you get to find out if you are a toilet break and a rest stop, or a friend. Most of the time, especially if you have some land, it will be the former. Whenn I told the lady with the two dogs to leave the dogs home when she visited, that was the last time I ever saw her at my house, got a phone call from her, or had an email from her.

On the other hand, I heard about it for a very long time from others, and that was very, very not pretty, she actually got it so the whole group got mad and stopped coming over. So you have to be prepared - when you speak up, no matter how gently, there usually is fallout. You just have to decide what is more important to you.

Her side was I HAD a dog, and it was loose in the yard ALL THE TIME, so what's the difference if there are a couple more out there? I was blaming her dogs for what my dog was doing, and it got much much worse from there.

So it's good to know, that even if you say it very politely, you can very well lose a friend over it. But anyway, it's good to know. One doesn't need 'friends' like that.

 

[taraann81]

Good post welsummer,

It did start innocently enough. She bought the dog and was so excited for me to see her she brought her over, she was a cute 1.5lb 8 week old puppy. I might do the same thing..she brought her over, we stayed out in the yard gabbing for awhile that day. I guess she mistook it for a forever invitation.
She is a single mom(kids are older though, 16 &19), works a full time job plus a part time job on the side. I know she feels guilty for not spending enough time with the chi, so I think she feels like she kills 2 birds(not chickens of course

with one stone. Getting some much needed adult socialization for her, while not feeling guilty about leaving the dog home alone yet again. Is it an ideal situatuion for the dog? No, but its not my place to make those decisions for her.

I don't think the friendship will be effected much by this, just needed to rant and thank you al for the sympathy.

 

[welsummerchicks]

You've got a lot of understanding of a friend, I hope it works out well for both.

 

[PineappleMama]

I think the new puppy is the perfect ice breaker for the problem...

The old dogs know not to go in the house, even if another dog does, but that little one is going to if someone else does.

"Since Chi does have 'accidents' sometimes when over could you please leave it at home until we're sure Rufus is fully trained?"

*shrug* Maybe a little nicer than just out of the blue "Don't Bring That Snappy Pooper Over Here!" you know?

 

[sourland]

Use your new pup as an excuse or simply tell your friend that her unmannered dog is not welcome. Neither unreasonable nor rude on your part.

 

[Beekissed]

My sister brought one of her many unruly dogs over to my place once....just once. As she brought him into my back yard my older GP/lab mix made a bee line for it, growling, barking and foaming at the mouth....as she flew by I grabbed her scruff and lifted her front feet off the ground. Took her, still foaming at the mouth, to my shed and shut her in it.

My sister had been warned already that this older dog had developed an overly protective stance to her boundary in her old age....apparently she didn't believe me. As I watched my sister's face turn white as this big dog prepared to eat her dog for lunch, I think she realized the mistake she had made. She never made it again~her dogs now stay on her farm and mine stay on my place.

I never suggested one should let the big dogs use the chi for soccer but letting nature take it's course and intervening at the opportune time may remove the need for words or hurt feelings. It sure did in my case and my sis will still come and visit....and she's just a little wiser about dog space.