A lil help with a 14 year old

[drafthorse39]

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Wow that sounds just like my situation. It made me despise my parents for letting it happen. My mom will do anything for my brother, she's even been to a jail for a car he stole while she sat outside waiting for him (she didn't know he was stealing a car and she'll deny he ever did it to this day). I've watched the cops arrest him in our front yard. My mom jumping at the cops and almost getting tasered, me pulling her back so they wouldn't hurt her but she was screaming nasty things at me and trying to knock me down just to help him. Holidays are just crap. I've had the nut go after me with knives. For no reason he's struck me, of course I'm gonna defend myself. My mom held me back as he beat me (idk wth she was thinking) I had to knock her down to defend myself, now against two people! My mom is 55 years old, and she still deals with his crap (he's 21). I'm pretty much done with all of them. As sick as it sounds, idc for him, Idc what happens to him. The things he's done would blow your mind. Ugh.

 

[babylady4]

How do you know she is reporting to the school his wherabouts? Where is the truant officer? I would start calling the police every time he skips school; he would quickly no longer be at his mothers house since she has no influence with him.

This still sounds fishy. Personally for my kids own safety and well being I would not allow them to play with an uncontrollable 14 year old. You never know when he will take his agression out on you and your own kids. Friend or not, she needs to get control of things at her own house and you should not be assisting her. She needs to do this by herself; you have enough to worry about.

If using the internet is such an issue get it password protected, or lock your computer with a password.

 

[cmjust0]

I agree with keeping this kid away from your own kids until something's figured out... A 14yo with problems stemming from things nobody even knows about is simply a danger to your children. I know you say you watch over them when they play together, but it just seems weird to me.. At that age, you'd expect that he'd be gravitating toward kids his own age and not wanting much at all to do with a little kid......paying little kids special attention instead is throwing big red warning flags in my mind.

You never know...maybe this kid was sexually abused when he was about your own son's age. Sad as it is to say it, a huge number of sexual abusers were, themselves, sexually abused as kids and the vast majority of sexual abuse victims know their abusers. Everything fits..

Seriously..I'd keep this kid out of my house. He's his mom's responsibility -- not yours -- and neither you nor your family really has anything to gain by trying to straighten him out.

 

[rainplace]

I'm emotionally wrapped up in this thread and it bothers me because it seems as if there will be no resolution. I'm unsubscribing from this thread with these words:

VIOLENCE IS NEVER OKAY.
VIOLENCE IS NEVER OKAY.
VIOLENCE IS NEVER OKAY.
VIOLENCE IS NEVER OKAY.
VIOLENCE IS NEVER OKAY.
VIOLENCE IS NEVER OKAY.
VIOLENCE IS NEVER OKAY.
VIOLENCE IS NEVER OKAY.
VIOLENCE IS NEVER OKAY.
VIOLENCE IS NEVER OKAY.
VIOLENCE IS NEVER OKAY.
VIOLENCE IS NEVER OKAY.
VIOLENCE IS NEVER OKAY.
VIOLENCE IS NEVER OKAY.

 

[cassie]

Has anyone thought about calling CPS on behalf of the sister?

Just a comment. A local 14 year old boy is currently in jail for first degree murder. He purposely drowned a nine year old neighbor boy last week. Something to think about.

 

[Eggs4Sale]

That woman's duty is to protect her daughter. She has failed at that. She will continue to fail at that. She does not see it as her duty.

Your duty is to protect your three little ones. By allowing him to enter your home, you have failed to do that.

I'd be at the door with a rifle, personally. Just because you're accustomed to his presence doesn't mean it should be. That woman is accustomed to being beaten. And letting her girl be beaten. You are accommodating him.

 

[English Chick]

I have read the whole thread.... a lot I agree with a lot I don't however.... as you stated this boy has been diagnosed with ADHD and is on medications... I will assume that similar to the UK, these meds are only allowed on prescription..... I would have the mother talk to her son's Dr and explain that he is not taking his meds for his condition and that the matter is spiralling out of control especially with the violence... the Dr in turn can and should help the mother.... by looking at another form of med that can be mixed with water (say) .. or having the boy "sectioned" under the Mental Health Act, if a Dr does it, the police are informed and they in turn take the boy to the Hospital where he should be locked in a secure facility and evaluated further by professionals.... this is a situation that the mother cannot and should not handle alone, nor should she ask neighbours or friends to intervene as she has done... she knows the boy needs real help for his safety, and her families safety.... without the medication his rages will esculate out of control even further. But she must talk to his Dr urgently.

I hope this thread has a happy ending....

 

[agnes_day]

this might be a bit late, but i have a 15 year old that is like that..i don't post about it really because the whole situation depresses me but basically, he has been inpatient at various hospitals and boys homes for the past 3-4 years because he is very cruel and calculating..i wont go into the things he has done, but at this point, we are looking at foster care because he simply will not do what he has to do to come home. i used to feel bad and try to win him over with special gifts and compromises and all of that but he would have none of it. now, he knows that its either my way, or he simply cannot be around his siblings. its hard to turn away from your own child but sometimes its the only option. the rights of one cannot come before the rights of everyone elses safety and well being and that is why i have taken the hard line approach.

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

My wonderful DH had an older half brother who was abusive. His father never protected them from him and even allowed the man to stay when he was a man and had pulled a knife on DHs mother. DH, as a result has very clear ideas about violence and to whom he owes his protection.

Violence is never okay.

Adults are supposed to protect children from violence no matter where it comes from.


I vote for a call to CPS on behalf of the daughter. Some parents cannot see that while we do have extraordinary obligations to our children, especially our sick children, you cannot throw the rest of the kids out on the curb to protect the ill child. The family is a ship and it cannot be allowed to sink because one member is drilling holes in the bottom.

 

[redhen]

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