I think this is a good opportunity to set things straight. How about this conversation....
"Daughter, I love you. I invited you and the baby to stay with us because I wanted to help you out when things were rough. I expected that you would be grateful to both of us and show that by helping out around here and by making it as easy as possible. That hasn't happened and I am feeling resentful. I can tell by your actions that you resent being in this position and being here only reminds you of that. I understand. I think things will be better for both of us when you are able to again have a home of your own. Until then, all I ask is that you be respectful of me, my DH and our home. Keep, or at least display, a good attitude. Don't walk around here like we are the cause of your misery. Be pleasant and courteous. Look for ways to pull your weight, whether that is by cleaning, cooking, buying groceries or doing other chores. Our relationship is being strained and that makes me sad. I know things will get back to normal for us both when you are back home."
"Daughter, I love you. I invited you and the baby to stay with us because I wanted to help you out when things were rough. I expected that you would be grateful to both of us and show that by helping out around here and by making it as easy as possible. That hasn't happened and I am feeling resentful. I can tell by your actions that you resent being in this position and being here only reminds you of that. I understand. I think things will be better for both of us when you are able to again have a home of your own. Until then, all I ask is that you be respectful of me, my DH and our home. Keep, or at least display, a good attitude. Don't walk around here like we are the cause of your misery. Be pleasant and courteous. Look for ways to pull your weight, whether that is by cleaning, cooking, buying groceries or doing other chores. Our relationship is being strained and that makes me sad. I know things will get back to normal for us both when you are back home."
