- Thread starter
- #11
- Jun 28, 2011
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Quote:
They bought it cash. No mortgage.
They bought it cash. No mortgage.
A long, bad rant - need to talk to someone.
- Thread starter sumi
- Start date
- Apr 15, 2011
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My suggestion would also be to get out as soon as you can, and DH needs to be behind you on that. This is not a healthy life for you guys or honestly, his mom. Controlling, manipulative behavior only gets worse when allowed to happen unquestioned. Next time a paternity test (or anything else) is asked for, the response I'd suggest would be, "that is honestly none of your business". It sounds like he's behind you, but if DH pushes for things like that, you have a larger issue than the MIL. So very sorry you have such a draining, negative person in your life!
laniered and SarahFair make good suggestions.
Try to stay on the high road like you have been doing and when the place sells be thankful you'll never have to see her again.
I have a suggestion for when you do move on. http://www.workaway.info/hostlist-US.html
I love this site, have registered with my daughter and have found opportunities around the world.
This one's not bad either http://www.idealist.org/
Try to stay on the high road like you have been doing and when the place sells be thankful you'll never have to see her again.
I have a suggestion for when you do move on. http://www.workaway.info/hostlist-US.html
I love this site, have registered with my daughter and have found opportunities around the world.
This one's not bad either http://www.idealist.org/
Quote:
They bought it cash. No mortgage.
In that case have your husband tell his mother to buy his half out so you guys can move. If she throws a fit get a lawyer.
She is using that house to keep her son close to her. It is not fair to you, your husband, or you child to be in situation like this.
They bought it cash. No mortgage.
In that case have your husband tell his mother to buy his half out so you guys can move. If she throws a fit get a lawyer.
She is using that house to keep her son close to her. It is not fair to you, your husband, or you child to be in situation like this.
- Thread starter
- #15
- Jun 28, 2011
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Next time I hit the bottom I'm going to reread your posts to cheer me up. You guys are amazing.
SarahFair: Madam's little nest egg is getting low, added problem. I'm worried it's going to become our problem soon. She's started turning people away from the guesthouse because she's "so fed-up with people"?????
Don't suggest we take over, not going to happen. She doesn't want anyone else to have anything she can't have. If you know what I mean. So no peeps in the guesthouse.
Ladyride: I do feel trapped. And I desperately want something better for my son. Spoke to DH just now. Told him I'm so fed-up I posted it on the net. He said we've got to save money and try and get out of here. Leave MIL and the farm. Up till now he wasn't keen on leaving her here on the farm. He'd rather we sell the farm, buy her something smaller and then move us. Changed his mind now. I respect the fact that he's concerned about his mom, I'm weird that way. But I'm really packing up now. I'm usually this positive person, but I'm seriously low.
Greeneggsandham: I've been entertained by that idea. But an unhappy mom is better than one in jail. I think it's better we stay where we are at the moment. Any closer to her, like right next door, where the main house is, I might snap. A person can only forgive so much.
Everyone: thank you for listening. Thanks for being there. Thanks for the
I can't think what this set-up must look like for people on the outside, I can't get my head around it myself, but things will get better. Hopefully.
SarahFair: Madam's little nest egg is getting low, added problem. I'm worried it's going to become our problem soon. She's started turning people away from the guesthouse because she's "so fed-up with people"?????
Don't suggest we take over, not going to happen. She doesn't want anyone else to have anything she can't have. If you know what I mean. So no peeps in the guesthouse.
Ladyride: I do feel trapped. And I desperately want something better for my son. Spoke to DH just now. Told him I'm so fed-up I posted it on the net. He said we've got to save money and try and get out of here. Leave MIL and the farm. Up till now he wasn't keen on leaving her here on the farm. He'd rather we sell the farm, buy her something smaller and then move us. Changed his mind now. I respect the fact that he's concerned about his mom, I'm weird that way. But I'm really packing up now. I'm usually this positive person, but I'm seriously low.
Greeneggsandham: I've been entertained by that idea. But an unhappy mom is better than one in jail. I think it's better we stay where we are at the moment. Any closer to her, like right next door, where the main house is, I might snap. A person can only forgive so much.
Everyone: thank you for listening. Thanks for being there. Thanks for the
I can't think what this set-up must look like for people on the outside, I can't get my head around it myself, but things will get better. Hopefully.
Quote:
No your not weird, your a wonderful wife that cares about her husband and his concerns about his mother.
No your not weird, your a wonderful wife that cares about her husband and his concerns about his mother.
Quote:
They bought it cash. No mortgage.
There may not be a mortgage but there should be a deed. Whose name is on that? If she won't show it to you, you should be able to see at the county assessor's office, or at the register of deeds in the county.
They bought it cash. No mortgage.
There may not be a mortgage but there should be a deed. Whose name is on that? If she won't show it to you, you should be able to see at the county assessor's office, or at the register of deeds in the county.
This is not going to sound nice, but you and your husband need to get a backbone against that woman. She did not MAKE you get a DNA test. She did not MAKE you live in a two room hovel. You have chosen to allow her to bully you into those things. Your husband needs to say "mom, this is OUR home too, and I paid for it too, and I WILL reap the benefits of what MY money paid for." Then move into the house and tell her to go blow goats.
If you do sell that farm, I suggest you figure out how much income she has made from it (the guest house) and subtract half of that from any profit made, then split the profit. Do NOT buy her a new place, hand her the $$ and let her buy her own place. If you buy her a place, she will only find ways to make you miserable about it.
Seriously, man up and tell that lady to go suck an egg. Do it now, even if you are planning on moving. She has GOT to learn she cannot treat you that way or she will FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIVES!
I speak from experience. My MIL is a notorious liar and manipulator. Controlling and alcoholic. She has married five men and left them after she sucks their bank accounts clean, she has estranged many of her family, and she tries to guilt her sons into all kinds of things. My first experience (2 mos after starting to date my hubby) with her was we drove 8 hrs to see her for T-giving. When we arrived at my future bro-in laws for the day, she called and said since her sons didnt like her boyfriend she wasnt coming. SHE had said SHE would bring all the food. So, the boys were sad and prepared for spaghetti for dinner. I was enraged! I called her and told her was WAS going to get her a$$ over there and have thanksgiving with her sons, she hadnt seen my hubby for 3 yrs, she gets to see her boyfriend every day. She said she didnt have the food, I said then it looks like we are going to the grocery store. She came over, we shopped, we had dinner and she still doesnt really like me, but she respects me. That also allowed my husband to start stepping up to her and now she really doesnt try to pull much on us. She doesnt talk to us much either, but thats okay.
If you do sell that farm, I suggest you figure out how much income she has made from it (the guest house) and subtract half of that from any profit made, then split the profit. Do NOT buy her a new place, hand her the $$ and let her buy her own place. If you buy her a place, she will only find ways to make you miserable about it.
Seriously, man up and tell that lady to go suck an egg. Do it now, even if you are planning on moving. She has GOT to learn she cannot treat you that way or she will FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIVES!
I speak from experience. My MIL is a notorious liar and manipulator. Controlling and alcoholic. She has married five men and left them after she sucks their bank accounts clean, she has estranged many of her family, and she tries to guilt her sons into all kinds of things. My first experience (2 mos after starting to date my hubby) with her was we drove 8 hrs to see her for T-giving. When we arrived at my future bro-in laws for the day, she called and said since her sons didnt like her boyfriend she wasnt coming. SHE had said SHE would bring all the food. So, the boys were sad and prepared for spaghetti for dinner. I was enraged! I called her and told her was WAS going to get her a$$ over there and have thanksgiving with her sons, she hadnt seen my hubby for 3 yrs, she gets to see her boyfriend every day. She said she didnt have the food, I said then it looks like we are going to the grocery store. She came over, we shopped, we had dinner and she still doesnt really like me, but she respects me. That also allowed my husband to start stepping up to her and now she really doesnt try to pull much on us. She doesnt talk to us much either, but thats okay.
Quote:
Amen to that
Amen to that
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