A word of advice: Don't do anyone a favor if you expect one in return

[Cindiloohoo]

So basically for ten measley bucks you found out who your true friend is NOT? I call that a pretty cheap lesson myself

 

[Gen9]

Quote:
HAHAHA

good point

 

[drdoolittle]

There are different kinds of favors, in my mind. There are those that people ask you to do for them----------usually syaing they will pay you back/do something in return. Then there are those that you just do for someone w/o them knowing. The former are the ones that you SHOULD expect to be returned----after all, the person asked you to do it for them.

I am a person that frequently will do or buy something for someone, just because I love or care about them and want to show it in some small way, never expecting or wanting anything in return. I have a sister who would APPEAR to do similair things, but then down the road, when she wanted something from you, she would bring up all these "favors" to get you to do or give her something she wanted. I don't consider it a "favor" if it's something you are going to hold over someone's head.

I'm not saying that's what you are doing-----you were told in ADVANCE of doing the favor that you would be re-imbursed, and you should be.

 

[nurseshelly]

Quote:
I don't give anything expecting to get it back. If I can't afford to give money (or things) and not be repaid, I don't give it. I learned the lesson the hard way. I had saved up my car registration money a few months in advance. My sister asked if I could loan her money for her car registration. I went ahead and did it, and she promised me she would get the money back to me within 3 months when my car registration was due. Well 8 months later, she still hadn't paid me back, and acted like I was trying to rob her when I kept bugging her to pay me back. Lesson learned, if I can't afford to throw the money down the drain, I don't lend it. At that point I was in school full time at night, working full time during the day, paying for college myself. I didn't have extra except when I had saved for something like an upcoming bill. Then she couldn't even pay it back so I could pay my bill on time.
Same thing with loaning family and friends expensive home machines, like bissell carpet cleaners. Loaned said machine in perfect condition to my brother, who trashed it. Came back filthy, with many broken parts. Don't loan things anymore either after several other similar occurrences.
Also, don't loan computer disks to family so they can repair their own computers ... they lose them. I'll come fix their stuff for them, but not loan them disks. I end up having to buy a new one if I do.
I do often buy groceries or other stuff like vet bills for my siblings, but only when I know I'm okay never seeing the money again. I shouldn't have to harass someone to pay me back when I loan them money, and it certainly shouldn't take 8 months to get money back. If I borrow money, I return it as soon as possible (but haven't had to in a long time). When someone loans me something, I take care of it like it's my own, and return it in a timely manner in the same condition it was in when I got it. It's irritating that others can't do the same. Especially family.

 

[Gen9]

Quote:
I know what you mean. I am not the type of person to hold the carrot in front of anyone's head, or make people feel obligated to return favors. In the end I really don't care about the money, it's about principle.

Cindi said it best, it was a cheap lesson learned

 

[Gen9]

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Ugh, how frustrating for your situation - yeah my situation is mild compared to most - wish people were more mindful of each other.

 

[Stacykins]

I learned that lesson with my first job. Everyone would ask me to cover shifts for them in return for them covering a shift of mine in return when I needed it. I worked their shifts even when I was exhausted or it was inconvenient for me. And when I had a pressing need for someone to cover my shift due to a family emergency, where was help when I needed it? "Going to the movies with my girlfriend, sorry!" "Oh, I forgot I had the HUGE test I need to study for (lies since we shared that class they used as an excuse)" etc. That was the only time I told my boss I am not coming into work during a scheduled shift. I didn't care, I took the absence since my coworkers failed me when I bent over backwards for them.

 

[Sissy]

LoL what a world we live in.
we too found who our friends are.
only when THEY need something..
Lesson learned. ..

 

[Gen9]

Quote:
I did that a lot when I was in the military. I would take someone's weekend duty for them - we called it "duty swap" -to avoid someone missing their scheduled duty. It would be signed off through our chain of command - I don't know why they don't do this in the real world for caregivers/nurses etc. Or every weekend other coworkers would volunteer me to travel cross country for the weekend (in case our aircraft broke down and couldn't make it back to base). Which is a big deal because sometimes my husband works on the weekends, so who the heck is gonna watch my kids?! It's frustrating though, to always be the dependable one.

 

[Gen9]

Quote:
yeah whatever happened to "hanging out" and "conversation"?!?!?!

great quote BTW