Am I being selfish?

[Guitartists]

My youngest, turning 2 this Dec, has a birthday within days of his cousin who is turning 5. I contacted my uncle to inform him of my son's birthday and of course he mentions that we should consolidate parties. This is what we did last year, and VERY last minute and not everyone had gifts for my cousin. This would still be short notice, and many of my friends don;t really know her and yet feel obligated to buy her a gift even though money is tight.

I told him this and that I didn't think it was a good idea, but now I feel bad. Part of me wants for him to throw his daughter her OWN party, but part of me also knows that he might not. So I feel bad saying no.

What would you do? I need some perspective here..... I'm a horrible sucker for things and my family is dysfunctional.

 

[debilorrah]

As much as you feel for his child, yours has to come first - that being said, will your child remember this birthday? My son doesn't remember his 2nd or even 3rd birthday, I remember my 3rd. So looking at it from that perspective, maybe it would be easier for you to make a decision. You know your child better than anyone else. If you do decide to consolidate, I would make it clear that this is the last time - you need to make memories for your family, not his....

 

[HennysMom]

ouch - tough one.

Well - I'd have separate parties and here's how I'd put it to your uncle. 1. Two is a huge milestone and 2. Five is a huge milestone.

At 2 - toddlers are just discovering who they are and have the knowledge that they are "separate" individuals from their parents - they accomplish so many things at that age and, in turn, deserve that special birthday celebration all their own

At 5 - that too is a special milestone that deserves a celebration all to that Big 5 year old! They've discovered ALOT of independence and are on their way to becoming "big ol' kindergartener's" and they aren't "babie's" any longer.

Best explaination I can come up with w/out fanning the flames for your family - or more importantly - you

Ahh.. I wish my kids were 2 and 5 again somedays...then again..some days my 18 and 10 year olds act those ages now and again LOL

 

[Chicabee19]

I am for anything that increases unity, even if you have to bend a little to do it.

 

[sunnychooks]

I don't know if this will help, but you may try having a party for your son with your friends (who don't know his cousin). Then have a small "family get-togerther" to celebrate both birthdays. It's more effort but it may help to keep the family peace and prevent hurt feelings.

 

[thechickenchick]

I do not think it is selfish at all for you to want a seperate party. If you do it this year (and last year) what is to say he won't expect it again next year and the next.......

 

[Guitartists]

Yeah, that's the thing..... last year was a milestone.. the only first birthday and my cousin is in all the pics and video etc. Not that it's a huge deal.... but I'm not that close to my uncle..... he doesn;t visit or anything. I'd be different if we were all very close... I wouldn;t hesitate. I only pause because it is an advantage thing..... but I still feel badly for my little cuz. She doesn't have a choice in these matters.

 

[HennysMom]

do what makes your heart and soul comfortable my dear....

when you feel comfort with that decision, you'll have your answer

 

[Guitartists]

It's so hard when doing right for the little one means enabling the older one (my uncle)

I just wish that he would do the right thing. He has a house, money for a party and has the girls almost every weekend. He just doesn't like being responsible for planning things. He refuses to host holidays too.

 

[debilorrah]

he sounds like a chest ornament ( can we say boob)?