Am I getting crotchity and OLD?

[CoopCrazy]

I agree with your thought process on this.. If you dont sever ties and something happens you will feel guilty for the rest of your life.. I would sever ties.. And BTW if someone was trying to give my children alcohol i would probably box em in the ears...

 

[Camelot Farms]

Huge difference between OLD and MATURE.

Also wondering if you have a Childrens Services program there that could be contacted? I would think that they would intervene on behalf of the younger children who are allowed to 'sip' adult beverages.

 

[Chickenmaven]

I ended a longterm friendship over my friend's destructive behavior. (She wasn't using substances, but was engaging in manipulative, unkind behaviors. She hurt people in her own family.) The hardest thing is the world - and something I am glad I did - was to tell her what it was that I objected to. I just told her I was observing X, Y, & Z and it reflected poorly on her and that's not what I look for in a friend.
The reason I bring this up is that your friend might be so caught up in this lifestyle that she doesn't see the bad in it. If you fade from her life, w/o comment, she will never have the gift of your perspective. If you love your friend, IMHO - you should love her enough to suffer the discomfort of a five minute conversation. It might be a little jolt to motivate her to straighten up. Heaven forbid, but if something tragic happens in this family at least you can say that you tried.
You will be in my thoughts. I wish you every strength.

 

[sourland]

Cut ties but don't burn the bridges behind you. Let your friend know that you do not approve of her behavior and the example that she is setting for her family. Also let her know that you have valued her friendship and will be there if she ever wants to embrace sobriety. Sometime in the future this may be important to her. While the alcohol is in control thought processes are screwed up. It takes a long while to get your brain back. I speak from personal experience-I am winnning the battle one day at a time. She can too, but only when she is ready.

 

[Dar]

there were a few questions that were asked and i will try and answer..

No this could not affect my job at all...

The last time CPS was called the parent explained it as a few sips of wine at a family celebration, or religious holidays, and soon as they said religion CPS backed off they dont want to get caught up in that mess

because they live over an hour away I never know when this is going on to report it to the police, I am told about after the fact.. in the process of story telling... Like .."Òh last weekend DD was driving us home cause dad and I were to drunk to drive.. i like having a child with a learners permit.... no more taxi fare"

when I tried speaking to her about other issues about the kids a few years ago it kinda got nasty, dont tell me how to raise my kids kind of conversation, you have your own to raise. so I decided that was not a good route...

I will just have to tell her that I dont like all the drinking in front of my kids... they dont see it at home and i am no longer comfortable with it

 

[Davaroo]

Quote:
Have you ever heard the saying, "The whipped dog howls the loudest?" Meaning of course the one that gets caught is the one that does the most screaming?
Your friend believes there is nothing wrong, and so retaliates against you when you call her bluff. "Stay out of my life!" and so on. Its bound to get kinda nasty.

But someone with the sort of problems you describe doesnt need you to be nice or logical. She needs you to face her without backing down, because it IS tough. Its going to be harder before its easier.

At some point a call may be needed to Family Services or whatever you name it there. Make that call sooner, than later and keep making it. Once is rarely enough when they are dodgin the truth. If they dont have the sense to keep it off facebook, they sure need some mercy.