Am I in the Right, Or am I in the Wrong??? UPDATE Pg. 14)

[Sunny the Hippie Chick]

SunnyDawn

We do go to the beach or up river once a week. His new hobby is gold mining. But we dont stay at the beach very long. Just a bit longer than getting his concentrates and coming back to the house to work them in his blue bowl.

I would love to have a game night. He dont like board games, we do have them though. And I am not a gamer, when I was growing up video systems werent allowed in the house at all. When I went to babysit my cousins, I played the Super Nintendo, but could never get past level 2 I was so bad at it. LOL...

Oh about my son going to bed on his own. He got real scared one time when I went to the store with out him, he stayed home with auntie. Now he is affraid I will leave. He wont go to bed by himself now. Trying to do the retraining thing. But taking awhile. I can get him to go to bed on his own about 1 time a week. But I usually stand outside his door till he goes to sleep. To make sure he stays in bed. As it is I have to ride the bus with him to head-start school..

 

[NYchickies]

It seems like if you don't go to the wedding, she may feel that she has "won" in her own twisted way. If your husband's totally aware of how you feel, and that how he acted before was wrong, then hopefully he would make a conscience effort to avoid any contact with her, and even give her the cold shoulder.

 

[Sunny the Hippie Chick]

Quote:
Thats what Im afraid of. And I think that he will have to walk with her. When I said I wasnt going cause she was going, he said he wouldnt go either. I dont know if he said that after or before he found out she was in the wedding too.

ETA
Well Im off to straighten up the house and get dinner going. Hubby getting off work soon.

 

[agnes_day]

Quote:
ok then, just lay down and let him walk all over you..seriously! if you wont make the effort, nothing is going to change!

tell the kid to go to bed, or he will get his butt busted. if you dont spank, then come up with something else! as for the husband...if he wont turn either of those off for you if you have planned something, then he sucks and you are better off without his inconsiderable b.s.

tonight, put the kids to bed, unplug all the electronics and TELL him that he is going to hear you out and that you guys are going to work out a way to make your marriage alive again.

 

[Elite Silkies]

I was just thinking the same thing, is that he is going to have to walk her down the isle. Sorry, I wouldn't take it that far. That isn't right to put you through that.

I guess, If all else fails, you could jack her up before the wedding and make her walk down the isle with black eyes and missing teeth. Just kidding

 

[redhen]

Give her some of this>>

All joking aside.. dont go to that wedding..and dont let him go either.
You dont have to go through all that hurt again...

 

[Elite Silkies]

Quote:

Always cracking me up Red!

 

[WhiteMountainsRanch]

ok then, just lay down and let him walk all over you..seriously! if you wont make the effort, nothing is going to change!

tell the kid to go to bed, or he will get his butt busted. if you dont spank, then come up with something else! as for the husband...if he wont turn either of those off for you if you have planned something, then he sucks and you are better off without his inconsiderable b.s.

tonight, put the kids to bed, unplug all the electronics and TELL him that he is going to hear you out and that you guys are going to work out a way to make your marriage alive again.

Talk and communicate with your hubby.

Don't hang around losers, including family. I absolutely would not go, I don't put up with other people immaturity and drama, even if it is family. Sounds like you don't even like any of them anyway.

TELL your kids what to do and make them do it. Toughen up. YOU are the adult.​

 

[PineappleMama]

Sorry I got carried away Terrielacy *blush*

If he's in the wedding party then they'll be thrown together a lot even if he tries to avoid it. Pictures, practice (is he paired with her to go down the aisle?!!?), if there's dancing then maybe then too. If he refuses to be next to her then his sis is going to be peeved at him. If he goes with it then it's an insult to you. Either way you're getting a cranky hubby. But, if I were in his shoes I would do everything in my power to make my marriage work. That's a given, but especially if I was the one that risked it in the first place. I would put my spouses (and kids) needs first.

I've had to learn that lesson hard. If you've seen the Sis topics you'll understand. I've ALWAYS taken care of her, eldest you see, so it's been hard trying to just stop doing that. But my marriage, my kids, are my responsibility, my FIRST priority. Every other family member has to come behind them. So, I flat out would not have accepted the position in the wedding. It would be a blatant, to everyone but especially to YOU and to that snot, that HE chooses to put YOU first.

But, clearly he is not me... (you aren't either obviously) not raised the same, not in exactly the same marriage, not the same kids, not the same person. So he's not going to see things the same way as I do, or as you do.

He's not going to be able to bow out gracefully. If he had given ANY thought to it before accepting he could have said no thanks then and caused a lot less stir. But he didn't bother to think on it, just plowed right ahead. Now everyone's going to have to deal with it. If he is serious about putting your first, not going if you don't, then he needs to tell the groom (since that's whose side of the aisle he'll be on) that he isn't comfortable with serving alongside the woman that tried to wreck your home. His sis I guess already knows all about it if she's thinking YOU are being the selfish one, but she needs to hear it too. If this guy is really a friend (you do choose FRIENDS to be in your party right?) and his sister really cares about him and wants him happy (part of which is a happy marriage) then they'll understand. Be annoyed he didn't say something sooner probably, but they should understand.

The only way it'd be announced to everyone present is if he waits until the day and then just doesn't show. Then there will be serious ranting. If they know in advance and can get a pinch hitter then they'll be so wrapped up in the Big Day that it shouldn't be a big deal.

I understand why you don't want to go. Why it would be uncomfortable for you. And I understand your upset that DH is just kind of ignoring your feelings. It is entirely your choice to attend and be miserable, or to just send a gift. It's also your hubby's decision whether he wants to attend and support his sister (and her IMO less than wise choice of friends), or not and support his wife. For your sake I hope he makes the right choice.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

I've only read the first page. You cannot control what your husband will or will not do. However, he needs to respect you enough to say on his own that he will not go if she is there.