Am I in the Right, Or am I in the Wrong??? UPDATE Pg. 14)

[PineappleMama]

Sound about like our wedding. We had the practice the night before, couple passes. All/most went to Country Kitchen for a bite after. Wedding the next day, had punch, cake, and some meat/cheese kind of nibbles in the 'recreation room' of the church after that. OY I had bird seed in some REALLY odd places... actually, my dress STILL has some in it 12 years later.

Hehe... now there's an advantage to attending... 1 pound bird seed grenades... mwahahaha

Better if it was R... but I wouldn't feel bad about lobbing at the Sis since she's the one putting folks in this weird position.

OY the mental picture... goes something like this...

 

[Sunny the Hippie Chick]

Quote:

You made me laugh over this one. SIL hasnt even thought about stuff to throw. They are so not prepared. Hmmm Big things of bird food to throw. Hmm Maybe I should go after all. LOL Do you think game bird feed would work. I have some of that..

Yup Pine Cone bird feeders sound good. With peanut butter on them to keep the seeds on..

Great mental picture.. Yes it is..

This is the first time I have chuckled about this situation.. Thank you.

ETA their wedding is not at a church it is as the local park. picnic tables and all.

 

[PineappleMama]

Well... now if you could just get her (and R!) to borrow your hairspray...

At ours we had bird seed 'baggies' made up ahead of time... circles of tulle bird seed in center, tied with ribbon... easy, cheap, festive, didn't kill birds. My brothers, sneaky rats, got an armload, had all the ribbons gone and LOBBED them... and when I got stuck waiting for DH to unlock (oh yes, they locked the doors after the streaming/painting) they just DUMPED it over our heads.

So... get a 12" circle of tulle... match the bride's colors of course... fill with gamebird feed... "tie" and lie in wait... ohh bonus points if you can figure a way to glaze the feed like you do pecans... *snicker*

Hmmm... somehow I don't think this is what my Quest teachers had in mind when they were teaching us brainstorming.

 

[Sunny the Hippie Chick]

Pineapple

You are making me laugh again. Hairspray... LOL

Now to make a cover for it, to look like hairspray..

Good idea. Great brainstorming..

But I dont think she is going to use any hairspray, darn..

Well I better get them good with the bird feed. I dont have a chance to get them good when they get to a car.. They dont have a car. LOL

Maybe get them when they eat the cake.. Mmmm bird food frosting..

Hey I really wouldnt do this, but it is funny to think about it.. LOL

 

[PineappleMama]

Well... you could be tossing the other end of the bird food chain... least this way is still traditional.

Glad I managed to get a laugh though, amazing how much you can survive if you can still laugh.

Sounds like you plan to go, stronger woman than me, but might be the only way to keep your In Laws from hating you. There's an eyeroll in that sentence (can you spot it?) to say the least.

Sounds like this is more of a BBQ than a wedding... actually, around here BBQs involve more planning than that... but this IS Texas. Actually for all that 'elaborate' stuff at ours it was all tossed together in two weeks. Still boggles me. Thank You (DH's) Aunt Barb! And did get some GREAT shots of my MIL and my BFF since 3rd grades mom both glaring. Think MIL has mellowed (grandkids'll do that) but A's mom... phew she just did NOT like me. *shrug* I didn't much care for her blue eyeshadow either... guess it's good I moved 45 minutes away huh?

ANYWHO, sounds like the formal stuff that'll be required duty is going to be pretty short (if not sweet)... are the menfolk doing the suit thing? If so, maybe a compromise... he can do his duty, pics, aisle... then run and change into normal clothes and spend the rest of the party with you? His folks/sis satisfied, and you get to have him by your side? Course if the outfits are as unplanned/informal as everything else (not badmouthing, I just told my MoH/Maids 'Wear Blue' so they could use something they already had or to their taste that they would REALLY wear again) then he wouldn't even have to change.

Agree with others though... knock 'em dead. Don't wear white obviously, but short of that anything flattering to you that makes you just look fantastic, confident and happy Go For It!!

edit... NOT BF since 3rd BFF... sheesh that looked bad.

 

[Catstar68]

My 2 pennies:
R sounds like a sad insecure little lonely girl. Not woman....girl. She has some major issues with men, manipulation and needing attention. Throw in a bit of a need for control and power (she may feel she has none). I agree with the other posters in that she thrives on drama and being in the center of it. When you crave attention in such an immature way any attention (even bad attention) feeds your need. Mature, emotionally secure and moral women do not go after other people's significant others. It's shameful, desperate and pathetic.

I know it is not an easy situation but if you don't go then she will have the satisfaction of knowing she has the power to impact your life and marriage. It is hard for me to believe that her reputation has not branded her an outcast yet. She has a reputation and I cannot fathom that many will give her a warm welcome. Certainly your family knows of her shenanigans. Circle the wagons.

If all else fails, tell your hubby that it might be nice to renew your vows. The preacher will already be there!

Or right before the wedding you can corner R and tell her if she so much as looks at your husband it will be the last thing she sees before she wakes up to sirens and flashing lights. I don't recommend this though.

Go, be loving and attentive to your husband, hold his hand and tell him how much he means to you and if you encounter her, be polite but distant and make your excuse to move on. Buy something pretty and wear a smile. Act like R is the least important thing in your life and you could care less.

Be strong.

 

[mommyofthree]

PineappleMama gave me an idea, LOL. You should go to the wedding and offer to make a special cake just for the wedding party, just tell hubby not to eat it!! Add some ex-lax and R should not be an issue at the reception!! She'll be in the ladies room with SIL the whole night. And if R does make it out I doubt she'll be in the mood for any flirting.

Only kidding......

I understand why you don't want to go, and I wouldn't either. But I would probably still go just to show R that you are the better person and you won't let her ruin your life. Have a nice non-confrontational discussion with your hubby beforehand about how much what he did hurt you and explain to him that if you go to the wedding and R approaches him at all HE needs to tell her off. If she tries to flirt with him (or even talk to him for that matter) and he shoots her down right away that will most likely bruise her ego, and give you some satisfaction. It could actually make for a fun night if she realizes that there is a marriage she can't break up, and a man that wants nothing to do with her.

And (if you go) I think your DH needs to tell his sister that he will not be in the wedding party. That does not sound unreasonable at all. He already said he's not going if you don't go, which means he wouldn't be in the wedding party then. This way he can sit with you during the ceremony and be with you throughout the reception. And he'll avoid walking down the aisle with R, having wedding party pics taken, etc. And you should go to your local thrift store and see if you can find a nice outfit to make you feel good. I have found some really cute things at thrift and consignment shops!!

I also have to add that if trust is still a big issue and you truly don't trust your hubby, then don't go. It would just make for a stressful night and you don't need that. But if trust is that big of an issue then you should reconsider staying in the marriage....

As far as your son, I made a "bedtime chart" when my daughter was 4 and it worked like a charm. I had her help me decorate it with several lines and 10 boxes per line. Each night she stayed in her bed (she kept coming in my bed in the middle of the night) she got a sticker to put in a box. After she filled a line she picked a special prize from the store, a fun park or place to go for the day, etc. It worked great!! She only ever missed out on a couple stickers and after she realized in the morning she didn't get her sticker she was pretty bummed and made sure to stay in her bed the following night. And after he's in bed there are ways to get your hubby away from the TV. Be creative......

 

[TyrannosaurusChix]

**Post removed. Please keep it suitable for all ages**

 

[DuckLady]

Just a reminder that the posts need to be suitable for all ages. I have already edited some posts. If the inappropriate posts continue, I will have no other option but to close the thread.

 

[Yay Chicks!]

Life is too short to do things that you're going to agonize over.