Well, I drove for 9 hours and visited with Paul Smith yesterday, got in the books I ordered from Sigrid Van Dort (SVD), and found out things aren't as bad as I thought! (Note: I only showed him a few overall pictures of my birds, including the pictures of the flaws that I previously posted. They were by no means thoroughly evaluated. The eyes on the black one surprised him though.)
TL;DR: The scientist and perfectionist in me was being to critical and overthinking things. I'm going to have some beautiful and potential show quality chicks next year, I didn't screw up!
First, I guess because of my experience in various other endeavors, I misunderstood a "defect" as being a "disqualification". If I've got it correct now, a defect just deducts points, and is usually listed in the variety-specific sections of the standard, whereas disqualifications are in the general, species, and breed overviews (some defects can be listed in the overview if they can be seen in all varieties of a breed). Regardless, you want to try not to perpetuate defects in your breeding program, but they're probably considered "merely" defects because they're not easy to isolate and breed out. (Like the self blue barring, which I suspect is affected by environmental, hormonal, and genetic factors.)
White hens - As discussed in previous responses, my white hens are recessive white, which, "is less leaky compared to Dominant white. But (in some breeds) ...a bit of black smut can be visible in plumange" (SVD). Turns out this is not a DQ (Whew!) and Paul thinks they look fine, maybe better than some, because they're not too huge or fluffy. They are a little bigger than his hens I think, but definitely not as big as my EEs.
Self Blue (Lavender) roo - the barring is not a DQ, but it does deduct points. He has the "metallic gloss" feathers, which are apparently getting harder to find in Self Blue (and a must according to a long time APA judge according to Mr. Smith, other judges may be more lenient), and he has a great comb (my opinion). Paul said he looks good, keep him. (SVD explains that the barring is due to more pigment getting laid down during the start/stop of growth cycles. Imagine it like a printer that gets jammed and goes over the same line more than once.) If I didn't say this before, the barring occurs more in males than females. (Lavender doesn't restrict pigment by preventing its formation or moving it to specific areas, it dilutes it.)
SB hens - the foot feathers and stubs are a DQ, that one is an "out" (Paul's alternative term for cull, which I like a lot better, because I'm not killing any of them, and it doesn't sound like they're undesirable to a lay person. Just because they're "out of standard" doesn't mean they wouldn't make a wonderful backyard pet.) The smaller one is larger than bantam, but smaller than LF. Her wings are a bit low but still carried above the knee joint, so she goes into the reserves if I need to breed opposites or something.
Black Roo - had me going for a while there, but turns out she's a pullet.

Again, the barring isn't a DQ, but takes off points (it's theoretically caused by a high corn diet, probably not the sole cause, and maybe (my theory) only in Ar birds?); however, an overall purple sheen on the feathers is a DQ (it doesn't have to be the whole bird, groups of feathers (especially the shoulders) can be the only ones showing it, and according to SVD is caused by autosomal Red). (You do not want autosomal red in your solid colors (including splash); it may be beneficial in wheatens, it probably is, I don't know for sure though, I can barely keep up with the genetics of the colors I'm breeding

.) She's an out, but I have a project in mind for her to test a theory I came up with while babbling to Mr. Smith like an awkward nerd.
White chick - gave me quite a scare with an unusual presentation of coccidiosis. It appeared like he flew off a roost and broke his neck, or like Mareks, Botulism, or Vitamin B deficiency. Luckily I already knew it was Cocci, and 2 treatments of nutridrench and 12 hours of Corid and he was healed, halleluyah! Okay, he could lift his head on his own and eat and drink. It took about 36 hours before he was back to normal, but stayed in the hospital pen for 5 days to be sure. (Don't think that didn't completely send me into a tailspin knowing I was going to visit Mr. Smith. I went and dug out my microscope from storage, pulled brand new clothes and shoes out of the closet, and sprayed down my truck with Ammonium Chloride - no way was I going to go visit *anyone* else's flock if I thought that chick had something dangerous. I used to work in a highly controlled endangered species program, I don't mess around.)
Eggs - One egg didn't make it, all the insides were on the outside

. The other egg hatched out a blue, he/she's doing well.
New additions! I bought 23 chicks from Mr. Smith. There were Self Blue, Splits, BBS, and I think one white in the bunch. They are definitely cutie patooties!
So right now, I have chicks from a well established line, and only two hens that are outs. Yay!
Additional notes:
Lavender/Self Blue - Apparently during the process of getting the Self Blue Ameraucana variety accepted into the Standard, Lavender was the preferred term (and still is by some) of the breeders working toward acceptance. However, the other APA breed standards use the term Self Blue to describe the particular color that results from when the
lavender gene (Lav+, lav) dilutes black. (So the gene is officially designated lavender by science, and self blue is the term designated by the fancy. Fancy being the term used to describe poultry fanciers, not fancy-pants weirdo chicken people

.) In the spirit of "if it ain't broke, don't fix it", it wasn't reasonable to expect the APA to make an exception to a term that had already been standardized across multiple accepted breeds, unless all the other breed fanciers were in concurrence. Additionally, the lavender gene is what is responsible for the colors named Isabel and Porcelain. It's less confusing to name the colors separately than to use the gene's name and maybe not know what color someone is talking about. That said, most show breeders (true breeders to standard) will use the term Self Blue, whereas breeders that more often sell their birds to hobbyists will use the term Lavender. Obviously there are breeders that sell to both, and some can interchange the terms depending on who they're talking to, or are gracious enough to tolerate when I do

. The point being, that can make a difference on how you are perceived as a breeder or tip you off to a breeder that maybe you might not want to buy your show breeding stock from.
Size - The Ameraucana breed is kind of small compared to some of the backyard breeds you normally see, and it's supposed to be. I can't find the exact wording right now, but the breed standard is something along the lines of, "Ameraucana is a breed with traits in moderation, no one trait overshadowing another and none too large or too small." I've seen birds locally that "look" like Ameraucanas, but they're huge with giant fluffy butts. I saw some gorgeous cocks that were over 2 feet tall, probably every bit of 10 lbs, it was crazy. Oooh, found it, "The Ameraucana is a practical fowl of moderation with no individual section being extreme or out of balance." Hey, I wasn't too far off! That quote came about during the process to get Self Blue accepted in 2020. (As a side note, I've noticed that Silver Spitzhauben also suffer from some enlargement and even the boys have fluffy butts after being mixed with Polish for too long. It's a definite distinction between the North American and European Spitzhauben. I figure I'll work on shrinking them both at the same time, maybe I can learn faster that way.)
The Clubs - There are two breed clubs. You can join both, as far as I know, no one will hate you if you join one and not the other. I read both forums regularly, but you have to become a paying member to register for either of them. If you've ever run a forum, you know that's a great way to keep the spammers and hackers off your board, but it's also not good for people like me who are still on the fence as to whether I'm just doing my own science experiments or might actually get into breeding or showing. Luckily you can still read them, and I've found that anyone from the clubs that I've contacted on Facebook or wherever have been very nice.
Splash - They're working on getting that color accepted next. I don't know what the specifics of the proposed standard are. I think there's another wheaton or a bantam on deck too. Iirc, splash in other breeds wants an even and pleasing to the eye distribution of black, not so much as to look mottled or spangled, but more than bad leakage. I think of a soccer ball or a classic firehouse Dalmatian when I think of the appropriate distribution.
Other color musings:
Dominant White (I) - I stands for Inhibitor, prevents the formation of black, but not red. Does nothing to the underlying patterns/colors but covers them up, therefore not that great for making all white birds (the same is true for most solid colors, you don't want surprise colors showing up if you take that dominant inhibitor away, hence using recessive color manipulation genes can be a better choice since the patterns/colors cover them up). Quite leaky in heterozygous form. Think of white out/liquid paper - covers up blue or black ink fine, but you paint it over red and you get pink, scratch it off and you can see the letters underneath. Business use only, gives you a headache if you play with it too much.