Another "Need Advice with this Friend" Thread

[goobhen]

Quote:
I would love to pay $10.00 for your earrings with Swarovski crystals, what is wrong with people? A lady was selling earrings & necklaces for $30.00 each, no sterling silver, no crystals..... not to my liking, not saying they were poorly made even, just not my style. I would pay that for SS & crystal earrings though!

to those people

 

[3goodeggs]

ummm, sometimes people need to go 'splat'
B
and if she brings it up, just tell her that you are 'struggling' and have to make the proper choices between 'needs' and 'wants'
The only way I'd buy a $600 dollar purse would be if there were 601 dollars in it... and shipping was free.

 

[ranchhand]

Given the circumstances, I vote B.

But, I can't help but wonder if the bag is authentic? Lots of flea markets and ebay vendors sell pretty good knock-offs. And she may be exaggerating the price to impress others? Or herself, lol. Either way, she's a dingbat.

 

[kareninthesun]

Facebook is the modern Dear Diary. Just because she posted it does not make it true. If it were me, I'd bring it up in a relaxed conversation, not confrontational , only because I'd fear walking on egg shells. If this is something she's always done, part of her lifestyle, then there's nothing you can do but let her know you know and cannot risk what little you have to enable her behavior. I have a dear friend whom still does this, grew up getting everything she wanted. When the real world pressed in with a husband and two small children, her accesses became emotional blankies, even when everything crumbled. It wasn't that she never learned to separate value over materialistic stuff, but peace found in the present moment without feeling that restlessness. She held a job, was a hard worker, loved her family, great housekeeper, but emotionally she's very, very needy. It started to change when she lost everything and moved away from her mom whom enabled her to start to find that confidence. She still longs for the LV's (has three!) but because she is being held accountable...she's learning that happiness isn't found in how much you spend, but what you do with the precious gift of time. And because there's no knee jerk of guilt spending money as a substitute for other things, she's teaching better values to her children in honoring obligations, and they actually are being creative in exploring life without being dependant on Disney big ticket attitudes of entertainment.Be honest, be loving.

 

[Criskin]

Quote:
Culture has nothing to do with it and is not in question. I only mentioned it because someone asked how my dad's wife reacted when I asked her about it, so I said it was hard to tell because I was speaking a foreign language. They are all American citizens, just forget that part of it. I honestly don't know what jtbrown meant by saying "especially if another culture is involved". It really has zero relevance.

I wasn't being insensitive to any group of people, but cultural pockets do exist here in the U.S based on ethnicity, age group, region, etc., and different people have different ideas about the appropriate level of financial responsibility family, or even extended family, should shoulder.

 

[Laurajean]

Quote:
Culture has nothing to do with it and is not in question. I only mentioned it because someone asked how my dad's wife reacted when I asked her about it, so I said it was hard to tell because I was speaking a foreign language. They are all American citizens, just forget that part of it. I honestly don't know what jtbrown meant by saying "especially if another culture is involved". It really has zero relevance.

I wasn't being insensitive to any group of people, but cultural pockets do exist here in the U.S based on ethnicity, age group, region, etc., and different people have different ideas about the appropriate level of financial responsibility family, or even extended family, should shoulder.

I didn't think you were being culturally insensitive at all; I quoted you because at that point I realized two people had brought that up, and I just did not want the conversation to turn into a cultural one. It just really has nothing to do with the situation. I didn't mean anything toward you, I just grabbed your quote and then referred to jtbrown's comment as well. Sometimes culture can be a factor with people, sure, but not in this case.

 

[Laurajean]

Quote:
Right. That's why I called my dad's wife and asked her if it was true, and she confirmed the yes, she had bought it. She was with her at the time.

 

[Laurajean]

Quote:
It's real, I guarantee it. Not all, but some of the women in that family are extremely "brand oriented". They wear ALL brand name clothes, brand name purses, designer this and that. They wouldn't be caught dead with a fake. They don't do ebay or flea markets, they have them imported from friends in Bali and London, which is how they get them cheaper, due to the exchange rate with the Indonesian Rupiah.

I'll say this, I have seen them get some amazing deals. They all walk around with high tech cell phones that America hasn't even heard of yet, and they get them cheap. I'm sure her stupid bag was probably a couple thousand dollars for her to call it a "deal" at $600. So that's how they justify it. But still, it doesn't change my opinion that she had her sister helping her with rent, leading me to think she must be struggling, and then buys that bag. So yes, it's real, and yeah, she probably technically got a "good deal" on it in the eyes of someone who gives a darn about designer crap, but no, I don't think I feel so obligated to buy her overpriced jewelry at this point.

And yes, she's a dingbat.