Another "Need Advice with this Friend" Thread

[Laurajean]

Quote:
Yeah we have no charge cards, nails do not get done, my hair is now looking like Janis Joplin, no gym, I am the housecleaner and Ken is the gardner. Broke is broke and people who can still pay for all that ain't broke.

Yeah, to me broke isn't "Gee, I think I'll buy this $600 designer bag". Had I bought a piece of jewelry from her, I would have forfeited something important, like food, or paid a bill late. I am glad I didn't now. I just wanted to help even though I am struggling myself. So for now on I'm going to be a lot more cautious when someone says they're "struggling".

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
Yeah we have no charge cards, nails do not get done, my hair is now looking like Janis Joplin, no gym, I am the housecleaner and Ken is the gardner. Broke is broke and people who can still pay for all that ain't broke.

Yeah, to me broke isn't "Gee, I think I'll buy this $600 designer bag". Had I bought a piece of jewelry from her, I would have forfeited something important, like food, or paid a bill late. I am glad I didn't now. I just wanted to help even though I am struggling myself. So for now on I'm going to be a lot more cautious when someone says they're "struggling".

Exactly. We are, micraculously, managing to get by and not get shut off notices. However, it is very stressful day by day, and we have learned some serious lessons through this. Seeing things more clearly, if we had about $700 a month more, we would be comfortable. So when Ken does find a job, there will be alot less spending on stupid crap. And alot more going into a savings account.

 

[redhen]

I say B, and i dont really see the point of C..because all that could do is cause problems in the family.
Just go with B.. you dont have to give her an explaination at all. You just dont have the money. Period.

ETA: Now if i was you dad, i would be really ticked off that i lent her that money for bills, then she went out and bought that purse...

 

[Laurajean]

Quote:
Well, my dad didn't; his wife did. They keep that stuff very separate. If she wants designer stuff, or to help family who "needs" it, he says she can go ahead and "help" with her own money.

 

[redhen]

Quote:
Well, my dad didn't; his wife did. They keep that stuff very separate. If she wants designer stuff, or to help family who "needs" it, he says she can go ahead and "help" with her own money.

Ahhh, smart man.

 

[Laurajean]

Quote:
Well, my dad didn't; his wife did. They keep that stuff very separate. If she wants designer stuff, or to help family who "needs" it, he says she can go ahead and "help" with her own money.

Ahhh, smart man.

Yeah, he really is. The only thing he does is send money to her elderly father in Indonesia (who truly does need it; he's ill). But when it comes to all her sisters and brothers, he says "Hey, you're in America, you work it out, that's what we do here". He's always been that way. He'll help me if I have an emergency, but otherwise I learned as a child that if I want anything, I have to work to get it. He taught me early on there are no hand-outs. I have to say, I am much better for it, and respect him highly as a result as well.

 

[mamagardener]

I definitely say B, and I don't care who makes it or how strong it is no purse is ever worth 600 bucks. Some people are just so designer conscious. I would not know designer clothes or purses from just regular quality, and could care less. Probably because I have sons, if I had daughters I probably would know all about designer clothes

It was a good thing you were trying to do though. I am glad you found out before you helped her out.

 

[sourland]

I'm going with B followed by C if necessary, unless you are suddenly flush and really want the jewelry.

 

[Laurajean]

Quote:
Nah, I could care less about jewelry these days to be perfectly honest. I was only trying to be nice. Much better things to spend my money on.

 

[Baymule]

$600 for a purse--no. I wouldn't even give $600 for a saddle. Hmmmm..... just what WOULD I give $600 for? A 20' flatbed trailer, (fat chance of finding someone stupid enough to sell one that cheap) uh.... DH paid $380 for 125 used T-posts, 80 6-7"x8' used treated posts, and (3) 12"x20' plastic culverts. Still not $600. Shoes? Oh Heck no. I won a $200 gift card to Tractor Supply and DH and I went to go spend it and it cost my sweet wonderful DH an additional $550 for (3) rolls of 2"x4"x100' of horse wire and a dump wagon for cleaning out the donkey pen. Still not $600. For a PURSE!! All I can say is some people are superficial and rate themselves by the things they have. How sad. I am rich. I am rich because I have a wonderful husband who loves me. I am rich because I have good family. I am rich because I have a good church family and good friends. I am rich because I have a job and a paycheck on Friday. I am rich because we have a home, vehicles to drive, horses, chickens and dogs. We have shelter, food and clothing. My purses come from Walmart. I am rich. I would in no way spend my hard earned money on junk jewlery that I didn't want and wouldn't wear to help someone who has mush for brains and zero responsibility. 'Nuff said.