Any advice from managers out there?

[welsummerchicks]

Consider reading The Mentor Leader, for a whole new perspective on being a manager.

I've worked for people half my age, I have zero-no-problems with that.

And as far as resenting a younger peer who gets promoted or being a loser because you're fifty and in a lower position, these are all very damaging assumptions.

The incompatibility may have to do with something entirely different. Don't assume it's something unsolvable or even that it has anything to do with a promotion.

As for a person being a loser because they're 50 and in a middle or low position, it's entirely possible that their skills and personality are very well suited to what they are doing. That they are in that position doesn't make them a loser. A company needs cleaning staff as well as presidents, and it needs sparrows as well as eagles. The trick is just finding what each person does best, that 'plodder' who can always be relied upon to do his routine task is just as important as the creative person who thinks up a new idea or method. Promoting someone til they screw up is not a management technique, it's just a traditional time honored error.

As far as being tardy, is the person resentful and lazy, or is s/he dealing with a sick aged parent, special needs kid or other responsibilities at home.

Is the person someone who simply functions better if not held to a tight schedule? Some people work much harder and take less sick time and are on time more, if given some schedule flex so they have some say in when they serve their hours. It's not s bad to have one person come in at 8 and another at 8:30.

Also, quite honestly, I see no reason why someone should be penalized for taking their time off when they accrue it. The company gives the person that time off and they are by definition entitled to use it. If that is being used to imply the person is lazy or not committed to the team, something a little more substantial and functional that is a defined part of their responsibilities, that they aren't doing is better proof.

Too, keep in mind quite a few people who appear to hate work are actually suffering from depression; it colors how they see everything and can exaggerate anxiety and feelings about work. Other people have undiagnosed medical problems that are dragging them down. SHowing an interest in the problem person and finding out what's bothering them can lead to a much better team that accomplishes much more.

 

[noodleroo]

"So...

My major question is this: is managing something you grow into feeling comfortable with or do you need a set of skills that I was apparently not born with?"

Sounds to me like you are just feeling what every good manager in the world feels right before accepting the management position that started it all! If you don't try this, you'll never know how good you can be at it.

I was 20 yrs old with a full time job, a part time job, and a 1 yr. old daughter. My part time job offered a night manager position to me. I assure you, I felt just like you; I questioned everything - am I smart enough...will they listen to me...will I fall on my hind end...OMG, I don't know what I'm doing...what have I gotten myself into? But you know what happened, don't you? I was smart enough. They tested me, but did respect and listen to me. I fell on my hind end a few times, got right back up no worse for wear (just smarter) and became a really great manager. That was 32 yrs. ago. If I hadn't taken that leap, I wouldn't be in a position to do what I do now; a job that I love that requires the confidence of lots of people.

My advice to you is to draw three circles that just barely intersect each other. It'll look kinda like a three leaf clover. One of the circles is your bosses. One of the circles is your employees that you manage. The last circle is the public (or who ever buys/benefits from your company). That little tiny intersection part; that's you. And you have to stay right there, keeping a balance between all the circles. 3 ring circus sometimes; you bet. But stay honest, learn all you can, be fair and consistent and you'll do great...

 

[Imp]

Hey SCG,

I have worked as a manager for 20 years, it does not get easier to do the tough things, but the nuts & bolts do get easier.
Do you have a Human Resources dept that can guide you through these things?
As far as the personnel issues remember that mostly people do it to themselves. You are just filling out the paperwork.
There are lots of laws involved in it, so be careful, document everything, and get the HR dept to review any corrective action till you are comfortable doing it.
Also if there is an union involved- MEMORIZE the contract.
And finally, people are individuals. You will find some older people easy to manage and some not so much. The same is true of younger people.

Good luck, just the fact that you are asking these questions shows that you are committed to success. You'll do fine.

Imp

BTW- Evil Imp has been going to work the last couple weeks. I've been filling out lots of paperwork lately.

 

[EweSheep]

I was a manager of a horse farm, was doing ok but more and more responsiblity placed upon me more than I can handle despite the " I CAN DO IT" mentality........ It was hard enough to supervise six juvies kids from a correctional center and getting them to work is like pulling teeth. I fired their butts more than I can take on, all the flak they gave me, it harden me up quick. One horse colicked 24 hours straight while I was up with the horse when the owner decided she was tired and went to bed! Not even calling the vet either!

She said just keep walking her all night! So I did because I didn't think the horse should suffer! Fortunately by next morning the horse was just fine. But I was so dead tired by morning and she told me that I have to work when my shift begins and start feeding the horses, in a half an hour! After two weeks of this yo yo 24 to 48 hours of lack of sleep, my decision making was BAD and I was going looney..............attempted suicide on myself and attempt murder on my cat so we both can go at the same time. Crazy! With my parents help, they knew of the signs that I was not talking straight, they took me away from that place and had to get help. My dad told me dont take on more than you can shoulder the responsibility of the horse farm and the employees, screw the owner, living in luxury while her horses suffered. That was one part in my life that i wished I never took that job nor want to EVER experience the suicide part...it hurts too much and the thought of losing my beloved cat.

Good news, the owner's business didn't last long after I quit. Sold all of her horses except a couple.

Never again I will be a manager of anyone's company but my OWN! I manage my own home, run and pay the bills, being a diplomat by keeping peace and making amends with all family members, decisions on what will be going on for the day or upcoming week, what things needed to be done and running the Welsummer club are what I can do and I think I am doing it quite well so far!

 

[Steve_of_sandspoultry]

They obviously see something in you that makes them think you are capable of doing the job. All you need is some confidence

Well said!!!!!!!!!

The rest comes in time.

Be fair, be firm, and go by the HR rules for the company to the letter. When you are the new manager prepare to be tested and tested and tested a few more times before they figure out they can't walk over you.

Steve​

 

[ranchhand]

The only thing I can add to the excellent advice you have already received is to document everything. My DH taught me that and it was invaluable to me.

Get a good Day-Timer type system. Every conversation with someone, every tardy appearance, every no show, etc, jot it down, even if it's after you get home. It will be valuable when it comes to evaluation time.
Be sure to also note the good things as well, when someone does a job very well, is always punctual or goes above and beyond the scope of their job.

Well, there is one other thing. Try to get your confidence level up and remember- you must always be cordial and polite, but you aren't there to make friends, you are there to manage a group.

 

[superchemicalgirl]

Thank you guys, again, for the advice and support. I'm still not sure what I'm going to do and the job will be posted soon. I can't go on with all the personnel problems I'm having. I can't live like this.

The guy that's causing me a lot of problems is the one that stepped down from the managers position that I've been filling in. He's obstinate and always saying NO without thinking about something. He did this as a manager, too. He always wants to argue with you. If you shoot him down (for example I've said: "your concerns are noted but I'm continuing the project") he will immediately go onto another complaint he has against you.

Wednesday night he was very critical of me and my plans in front of 3 other employees. He actually stated that he didn't like the way the place was going (among a whole host of other complaints). I didn't know how to handle it, I admit it. I was upset most of the night. Thursday morning I come in and within 5 minutes he was already on me about how I've allowed distractions to occur and he's making errors because of it, the place is unprofessional, etc. This was all over a fall "feast" where each employee was to cook something to share - which I felt was a team building exercise and it actually got people happy to be at work... (But the day previous when I wanted to streamline work because of a ton of distractions (phones, printers, various places to check work) he stated it wasn't affecting his work and that I was going to take all the fun out of the job, but I digress). Then he wanted a day after a holiday off next month and I've already written the schedule and we're shorthanded as it is. I told him I'd need to make a reasonable plan for staffing before I approved it and he got irate with me stating that we've done more with less before and that I'm coddling the employees.

I'll admit it: I cried.

Another manager came into my office, saw how upset I was and took me for a walk to get me settled down a bit. I spent the next 30 minutes after I got back speaking to the problem employee in my office. He continued to be a jerk but I got the message across that I will not be harassed by him and that if he wants to criticize something then do it constructively. I wrote it up. This is the second time I've had to do that with him.

I know if it wasn't him that it would be something else with another employee, but it highlights for me that I'm just really not good with people. I expect people to act like adults and do their jobs to the best of their ability.

Thanks for listening.

 

[HennyJenny]

Quote:
My Dear, the person with the people problem in the situation you describe is not you. It's him. If I talked to my boss in the way you just described - it would be career-ending. If my employees talked to me that way - we would be making a trip to HR. That is not acceptable professional behavior and I would say exactly that to that employee. He is now your subordinate, correct? And he "stepped down" for a reason because he doesn't have the skills necessary to handle this position. When I have an an employee that I have bent over backwards to hear out and accomdate and they are still unreasonably unhappy (such as the employee you are describing) - I "stiff-arm". Hello, nice to see you but I've got to run.... and keep moving. It works for unpleasant but chatty receptionists - chronically unhappy employees - chronically hormonally unhappy employees - chronically talkative employees. The difference in how thick to apply this is not the unpleasantness to you - but the degree to which this person is interupting your own - or their work. You have allowed this man to engage you on this subject on multiple occasions. I assure you, the next engagement will contain nothing new under the sun. Don't engage with him. He's a complainer and a time waster and an emotional drain. This employee can't be managed - he will have to be "handled" and stiff arming is just one method of doing that. It can be done pleasantly enough and without being unprofessional. The trick is to not apply this to unpleasant situations that you really DO need to handle.

Good luck!
Jenny

 

[FarmerJamie]

superchemicalgirl, hang tough, you can do it.

I wrote it up. This is the second time I've had to do that with him.
Sometimes, as a manager, you just have to exercise the "last resort" option.

If you can get your hands on a copy of Crucial Conversations, please do and read it. It really helps understand how to get past the emotions. Guys have problems with the emotional side, too.

I know if it wasn't him that it would be something else with another employee, but it highlights for me that I'm just really not good with people. I expect people to act like adults and do their jobs to the best of their ability.

Don't let not "Being good with people" be a cop-out to bail from this opportunity. Unless you are independently wealthy and can live as hermit, you're going to have figure out how to interact with people IN YOUR OWN STYLE, WITH YOUR OWN PREFERENCES. I've worked for touchy-feely managers, dictators, and everything in between. The most effective managers were the ones that recognized how their personal communication styles interacted with group.

A lot of good folks here are offering up solid nuggets of advice which I'm enjoying reading, too. If you want to grow your career, the growth starts with you. Don't change who you are, just look at how you change your choice of actions, based on the situation.

We're pulling for you.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Quote:
And for the record, I believe I have made some positive changes and have some fresh ideas. Anyway, I digress. It's the personnel issues that I just can't wrap my head around. For example, I find it absurd that I have to counsel someone twice my age on their inability to show up to work on time chronically. But then again if I didn't have to, there wouldn't be a need for managers.

Depending on the nature of the department, and whether flex time is reasonable or not (obviously not on an assembly line, but for many desk positions flex time works fine), consider the amount of work accomplished by a chronically late employee, and whether or not he/she works through lunch or stays late. If it impacts the work, then it is an issue; if there is no impact, because of the nature of the work and things like working through lunch or after hours, it is probably not a real issue. So if you feel compelled you might mention that you've noticed XYZ, and are wondering if there is a reason for working a different schedule (might have previously been ok'ed). If it IS impacting the work accomplished, then you address it differently, specifically on how the lateness impacts others as well as the work.

So...

My major question is this: is managing something you grow into feeling comfortable with or do you need a set of skills that I was apparently not born with? Was there any book, lecture, seminar, etc that helped you grow as a manager? Do you continue to feel like you don't know what you're doing (inept managing jokes aside, please)? Is it worth it to be a manager?

With everything aside, the head boss has been supportive and wishes to mentor me to eventually grow into his position. So I'm not alone. I just don't know if it's something I can do. Managing was never something on my radar (I'm a darned good grunt and proud of it) but now it is. Soon I will need to make a decision whether to apply for the permanent position or not.

Hopefully my ramble makes some sense... basically just looking for guidance from others in a similar situation. Thanks.​