Anybody have advice for Couples Trying to Conceive.

[CoopCrazy]

My advice and I have seen it work time and time again is " Stop trying" enjoy eachother, be passionate with one another, take time to explore eachother , and find each and every lil thing about eachother that you love... Passion is a huge healer especially when it is between to people who truly love eachother... There is a baby just waiting for you make it .... Stress is such a major thing nowadays.. Just lose yourselves in eachother, it will make the bond you have that much stronger.

 

[Shared Acres]

I too am trying with little luck.

Couple of things I know that I've been told to me or friends who are in the same boat:

1-if you're overweight, lose weight.

2-try every OTHER day.

And my favorite, a doctor actually told my husband: "You have to e______e inside her." To say the least we were both stunned and then laughed our butts off when we got outside!

One girlfriend just had twins after fertility treatments. Her insurance wouldn't cover it. Cost her about $400 a month and it took her 10 months to get pregnant. (She has cysts on her ovaries, weight issues, etc.)

 

[newnanchic]

Just make love like you always have and it will happen. I will pass along aliitle bit of advice tough. Folic acid is really good for you . I started on pre-natnal vitamins before I was ever pregant to up the amount of folic acid in my body and it is great for your hair It will shine beautifully.

 

[Chicks_N_Horses]

Well just start excersising more and eating like you were pregnant. That will help make an easier pregnancy once you do get pregnant.

I am with most on here for you to stop trying. Just start enjoying your husband. Get lost in each other and you will wake up puking one day hopefully

I puked every day ALL day. I had to spend most of my pregnancies in the hospital. I always knew I was pregnant when I woke up puking non-stop LOL

It will happen. Have faith! We are all rooting for you guys!! I will be praying!

Good Luck! Hopefully it will happen soon!

 

[chickaddict]

You need to stop trying - Stress and anxiety screws up body cycles making conception quite harder.

 

[PurpleChicken]

1-Pray or learn to Pray Hard
2-Give your anxiety to God or any higher power you may have faith in
3-Try Hard and Repeat

If you are battling with an anxiety disorder there may be reasons,
both chemical and Divine, that you are not conceiving. I battled
anxiety for many years and thought I would die with it. It died and
I'm still here.

 

[TaLani]

First of all, I think you need a big

! As they say, "been there, done that". I did all kinds of tests that my ob/gyn ordered & don't ask me what the actual medical term is, but he diagnosed me as having a condition where I ovulate very irradically. My ob/gyn did several things - put me on fertility pills (don't remember the name), put me on Glucofage (sp?) to regulate my sugar level (he told me my sugar level can interfere with fertility), told me to lose 10-20lbs (he said losing even a small amt of wt wld help a lot), make love every other day, have dates w/ my husband, oh yeah - RELAX (sure, that was easy to do when I wanted a baby soooo badly, but it's true)!

It's God's plan as to when you'll have a baby, not yours. Even though I went thru the above stuff, it still took several attempts before I got pg both times. My kids were born 6 yrs apart. When I finally did get pg it was because I had finally given up on the idea & just told God that I was leaving it up to him. When I got to that point, it meant that I was at my most least stressed level & God felt that it was the right time for it to happen & it did. It's kinda like when people say "Murphy's Law", well in this case it's actually "God's Law"!

It'll happen when He feels it's the best/right time for you. I think may times God gives us trials to see how we'll handle them and, in turn, I believe we're supposed to learn from those trials.

Btw, your post title says a lot to me already...u need to stop "trying". Like I said before, it's God's plan as to when you have baby. Maybe you're meant to have a baby at 32 & not 22. Harsh to hear I know, it will happen, but only when it's the right time. Also, maybe focusing on your anxiety (hubby has it so I can sympathize with you) & getting that greatly under control (via counseling, medication or prayer - or a combo of all 3!) is possibly what God is wanting you to concentrate more on right now/first. The funny thing is, one day when you've only had 3 hrs sleep total because you've been up 30,000 times in one night with your baby & you're at you're wits end you'll end up saying to yourself "what was I thinking in wanting a baby?!". They're a joy and such a stress inducer sometimes too - but totally worth it. I know I've said "God" several times here & I hope that doesn't offend anyone, I'm not the type of person who goes to church, but I definitely believe in Him. I hope you find some peace & take comfort in knowing that it will happen.

If all else fails, reread what PurpleChicken wrote!

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

I was going to recommend this book too.

"Taking Charge of Your Fertility" really, it helps a great deal.

I also tell people who are thinking that they can't to explore adoption and if that is too expensive look at fostering. Adopting through the foster care system is MUCH MUCH easier.

There are so many needy young children out there who need a good loving home. I know we all want "our own", but motherhood is defined by the heart, not by blood alone.

 

[Smokehouse13]

I've known several people who were told they couldn't conceive. Went through numerous fertility treatments and none worked until they tried acupuncture or reflexology. I also agree with the others enjoy your marriage,and relax. I hope everything works out for you.

 

[agnes_day]

here is something i came across a while back.


What you should/shouldn't say to someone struggling with infertility
Infertility (noun): 1) Absent or diminished fertility. 2) The persistent inability to conceive a child and produce offspring.

1 out of 10 people struggle with infertility and 2/3 of couples who seek medical treatments are able to get pregnant and give birth to a baby.

Since so many people struggle with infertility, chances are, I am NOT the only person that you know that is fighting this battle. 9/10 of people are able to get pregnant and give birth without medical intervention or without the hurt of infertility. If you one of those people, please read the following suggestions about infertility conversations you should and shouldn't have with someone that can't have a child. (I got some of the ideas for the things you shouldn't do from Resolve.org, but I have written my own feelings on the issues). My family has been AMAZING through my infertility journey... the reason for this blog is so that maybe others can learn how to talk to people they know about infertility

Do not tell them they are young and have a lot of child bearing years left, so they shouldn't worry about it.
Although this may be true, it makes us feel like you think we don't feel as much pain because of our age. The pain is the same at the age of 22 as it is at the age of 40. Yes, we may be young but we have been trying a long time to achieve our dreams of becoming mothers.

At this point in our "journey" this doesn't really bother me anymore. I know I am young, and I know I have a lot of child-bearing years left. I am 22 and although I want to be a young mother, I know that God has a plan for my life, and maybe He doesn't want us to have a child this young.

Do not tell them that they should just wait and enjoy the childless time they have.
I REALLY love spending time with my husband and my husband enjoys spending time with me, but we are ready to start a family, in fact we have been ready to start a family for a long time now. We have been through the pains of infertility and this comment is especially painful because it feels like you are "minimizing the problem". There is a problem and we aren't ready to just GET OVER IT. We want a child and we won't give up until we have one.

Do not tell them to relax or to take a vacation and then it will happen.
Usually, the reason for our infertility is deeper than just a high stress level during the journey. Usually, the reason we aren't pregnant is because we have a medical issues that can't be cured by relaxation or a vacation. We wish that relaxing would get us pregnant, but we have usually already tried this, and it doesn't work, and the doctors tell us it won't happen that way! This also makes us feel like maybe you think we are doing something wrong or it is OUR fault that we are not pregnant.

Do not tell them that if it's mean to be, it will happen.
We know that God has a plan for our lives, but we don't need you to tell us this. Although you are really just trying to comfort us, this brings a lot of discomfort and pain.

Don't minimize the Problem.
Do not say things like "Just enjoy being able to sleep late or travel." These comments do not help, they actually hurt. Usually, during the time it takes for us (infertile people) to conceive a child, we have had friends & family have an entire family. For me, I have already had quite a few friends get pregnant, give birth and now their babies are around a year old. It is hard to watch this happen and then realize that we are still childless, while most of our friends are getting pregnant or have already had children.

Don't say "There are Worse Things That Could Happen or there are worse things you could be going through."
If someone has dreamed of being a mother her whole life, and she has always wanted to be able to love and care for a child, it may be the worst thing that could happen to her. I do want a baby more than anything else, but I do realize at the same time that there are worse things that could happen. A lot of people struggling with infertility, often can't think of anything besides what they are going through and how badly it hurts for them. It is definitely a struggle!

Don't Say that Maybe they aren't meant to be parents.
This is ONE OF the worst things that can be said to someone struggling with infertility. We have already thought of this on our own, and we don't need other people telling us that maybe we aren't meant to be parents or have children.

Don't offer Unsolicited Opinions about your feelings on IVF.
If you feel that IVF is religiously and ethically wrong, keep this opinion to yourself. Usually, couples going through infertility have already thought these things through and IVF was probably a hard choice to make due to the fact that it is not a guaranteed treatment, and of course the COST!

Don't complain about your pregnancy.
I don't want to say this in a way that will hurt anyones feelings, but usually being around pregnant friends is VERY hard. We are happy for you and your accomplishment of becoming pregnant to have a child, but at the same time, we are sad for ourselves and for our "loss." Please don't complain about your pregnancies to us, if you want to complain, please call one of your friends who is not struggling with infertility. We would love to have stretch marks, nausea, weight gain, growing pains, fatigue and other pregnancy symptoms. I would love to have all of those symptoms if it meant I could have a baby.

Don't treat them like they are ignorant.
For some reason people who have children, who didn't struggle with infertility think that maybe we didn't realize how much responsibility is involved with having a baby and parenting. I don't know the full scope of everything yet, but I do know that a lot of responsbility is involved. We usually have a long time to think about all of the responsibilities involved in parenting, before we actually experience any of them.

Don't Push Adoption.
Adoption is amazing, and I believe adoption is right for some people, but not everyone is ready for adoption right away. Usually, before a couple can have a child they need to morn the "loss" of their unborn child first. Sometimes people need to go through all of the infertility treatments before they are ready to move forward towards adoption. Please don't push adoption on us, until we have decided that it could be the right thing for us. You can say things like "You will be a mother at some point in time whether you give birth to the baby yourself or if you decide to adopt a child." You can say that, but then just let it go.

What should you say to your infertile friend?
-Let them know that you care by praying for them or just letting them talk to you about what they are feeling, and if necessary, let them cry on your shoulder.
-Remember them on Mothers Day. Sometimes people who can't become mothers are forgotten.
-Support them in whatever they do, whether it's infertility treatments, stopping infertility treatments or adoption.