Anyone have trouble getting their husbands to help?

[erinszoo]

I guess I really shouldn't be griping too much because my husband does do some things to help out with the birds, rabbits, garden, etc ... but gosh darn it all, every time I find a new idea for something I want to try that will save us money and time and give the birds a better living experience, he tries to do everything without reading anything about the idea or listening to anything I try to tell him about it. He makes such a mess and wastes so much time, I just get so frustrated that I don't want to try anything any more. I end up having to completely rebuild things because he won't take the time to do it right in the first place and that makes everything at least twice as hard to accomplish anything and makes everything COST twice as much as well. Why doesn't he get that I'm trying to save money in the first place (since he's the one without a job) and am tired of having to redo everything. It makes all the enjoyment I have in our birds and garden just fly out the window.

 

[welasharon]

I would say just do it yourself in the first place then. Here, whoever starts the project is in control of the project and the other person acts as labor and does what they are told. Most of the time I do what I want to do while he is busy with his own projects. I have learned to do quite a bit on my own.

 

[redhen]

No..I don't have that problem because I'm a shrew ..

 

[BusyBlonde]

Nope, but I help DH when he has a project also. We build stuff together, sometimes work together, we figure out ways to help each other. We've built a garage, a shed (large shed), coop, brooder, and three levels of shelters. Also made an addition to a camper (8'x28') with wiring and plumbing. We don't ask the other to do anything we're not fully willing to participate in or reciprocate.

 

[Flat Rock farm]

I would say just do it yourself in the first place then. Here, whoever starts the project is in control of the project and the other person acts as labor and does what they are told. Most of the time I do what I want to do while he is busy with his own projects. I have learned to do quite a bit on my own.

You sound just like me. I have learned long ago if I want something done I just do it myself. All my pens in my coop and housing for the outside runs I have built myself.

 

[HeatherLynn]

No..I don't have that problem because I'm a shrew ..

You gotta love red, don't ya. I don't have that problem usually but I also really pare down my project requests. As long as I keep things were he thinks he can handle it all then he doesn't rush like that and is pretty patient. If he feels things piling up then he tends to freak a bit and nothing turns out right. Right now he has so many huge projects at work I can't even talk about tiny projects or helping me with one. He just sits in front of his computer mumbling dire threats about stupid people under his breath and I go outside and do my projects solo.

 

[erinszoo]

Oh, well I didn't ask him to help on this last thing we did ... or on a lot of the things I want done. He just jumps in and thinks he's helping. I would dearly love it if he would work on "his" projects and let me work on mine. I can do most anything and build most anything. So it's not a matter of me thinking things up for him to do or sitting back and watching. I did sprain my ankle last weekend so I couldn't do what I wanted to do and he just jumped in and took over ... but ... took over to the point of doing what he wanted in the middle of my project.

We enacted a new deal. If it's my project I'm in charge and he helps out if I ask. If it's his project he's in charge and I help out if I'm asked. No more of the "too many chefs in the kitchen"!!!

 

[welasharon]

Oh, well I didn't ask him to help on this last thing we did ... or on a lot of the things I want done. He just jumps in and thinks he's helping. I would dearly love it if he would work on "his" projects and let me work on mine. I can do most anything and build most anything. So it's not a matter of me thinking things up for him to do or sitting back and watching. I did sprain my ankle last weekend so I couldn't do what I wanted to do and he just jumped in and took over ... but ... took over to the point of doing what he wanted in the middle of my project.

We enacted a new deal. If it's my project I'm in charge and he helps out if I ask. If it's his project he's in charge and I help out if I'm asked. No more of the "too many chefs in the kitchen"!!!

sounds like a good plan. We are both very much "head chefs" and that is a recipe for hurt feelings!

 

[furbabymum]

If I included my husband in all of my projects we'd be divorced! lol He's a science guy and I'm rather artsy. Our ideas about things and how they should be done are polar opposite. Plus he tends to get angry easy and I am a bit of a dorkfish. My dad was helping me put the roof on my duck hut and I'm sitting there attempting to hammer in this nail. I'm missing over and over and over and whacking my thumb. My dad is used to this so he just sat there and watched until I gave up. lol My husband would have knocked me out of the way and nailed it himself. Then I would have been ******. lol

Anyway, we actually used an entire marriage counseling session to discuss how to fix a fence. We are that different and oppositional.

 

[MeatKing]

Interesting to read everyone's comments,, I wish my hubby would help me more..
But in this house, it's my project till he tells me everything I've done wrong, takes over and complains about everything I've done wrong..
Then I go hide somewhere trying to look busy cause my feelings are hurt, and I can't live it down with him. Don't be too hard on your hubby, at least he tries!!