Anyone non-religious here? Please be nice!

[babylady4]

Orpingtonmanor you sound like me!

I was Episcopalian (sp), ELCA Lutheran, Baptist, ELCA Lutheran, Presbyterian, WELS Lutheran and now 'floating'. After the WELS church I had it, being told women have no minds and cannot make decisions.... NO THANKS! What really burned me was the total lack of respect for any other doctrine; telling my kids Catholics are evil (my in-laws are Catholic)!

They would also STRONGLY recommend that you no longer associate with individuals who were living a sinful lifestyle. Sorry, I am not going to drop my friends like stones because they do not listen to the proper music or they choose an alternative lifestyle. Should we not just accept everyone for who they are and be non-judgemental?

Their rules about communion annoyed me as well so I would not take communion. For 5 years I went to that church (so my kids could get a parochial education) and suffered thought their crap. I taught my kids that the viewpoint expressed at the church/school was not always the one we believed at home. The straw that broke the camel's back was when I had DCFS called on me, by them.

So now I am just teaching my kids how to treat everyone with respect and kindness and to look out for everyone else. Eventually I think we will go back to a Church, but I think non-denominational would be the best route. I do not need another set of rules dreamed up by a group of people shoved at me telling me how wrong I am living my life.

Thanks but no thanks!

 

[Mattemma]

I have spent years following various religions(christianity,judaism,islam),and have come to the conclusion that I am a happier person without following a specific one. I think dh identifies with his birth religion,but he is not active in it. I talk to the kids about religion and how there are many,many different paths one can take in their life. Whatever they choose when they are older will be up to them.

 

[redux]

I am amazed at how many of you have shared here, and how intelligent and sincere your posts are. You have brought me much comfort and peace, just reading what you have written.

Thank you all. I really needed this.

 

[deb1]

For those of you who were religious at one point was there any event or catalyst that started you questioning your former faith?

 

[mom'sfolly]

I grew up in a fundamentalist home, but had friends who were of different faiths or non-believers. The preaching that every one who believed a different version of Christianity was going to hell seemed wrong to me. Also the idea that good people who did not worship god were worse than awful people who confessed on Sunday didn't sit well with me either. This group labeled Catholics as idolators (they have saints) and most mainstream Christian groups were suspect as well. There was also a great deal of hypocrasy (sorry I can't spell).

We also lived next door to the church. When we moved and my father died, they began a campaign for us to sell our home to them, for far less than what it was worth. It included the congregation in the new town giving prayer dedication of the land to the church, asking members to pray for God to light the way for my mother to sell the land, and gifts (for my sister and I) with requests to pray for my mom. It was evil, underhanded, and nasty. Using children to mainipulate parents is just wrong. We changed churches; but my dissolutionment lead to more questioning.

The church for years has been underhanded and nasty with adjacent property. A childhood friend now owns the house, and 30 years later is still having issues.

It's been a process, but that was what probably started the whole thing.

 

[Organics North]

Quote:
ME too

I guess considering "us non religious" types generally do not believe in pushing our personal views on others leaves us with far fewer radio stations, bill boards and bumper stickers to remind us, many others share the viewpoint..

ON

Deb1,
I must say I do love your questions...If you are not a reporter or lawyer your should be one..

For me I was born with it. My dad never was the church type, and my mom went sometimes with the kids so she could be social. I did go through confirmation and had a bad experience. The minister was an great loving caring person. That taught us teens much about living a good life. However the "church board" did not think he taught us enough religion! So they fired him! That was the last nail in the proverbial coffin for me. Yep that was 30 some years ago.

 

[curliet]

redux, thank you for posting this thread.

It's so hard sometimes to explain to folks that you love how you feel about religion without it becoming 'contentious'. I too was brought up in the church, early years CRC, then Methodist, and while my kids were growing up attended (not converted, just attended) the Catholic Church so that my kids could go to the school.

My Dutch grandmother said she was Catholic while in the Netherlands, and became CR when she came to America because the Catholic Church was too liberal here. But, I have since come across some info that suggests that maybe her family was Jewish and needed to make some changes because of Hitler. But I go on and on.

The point is that I've had chances to learn a bit about many denominations of the Christian faith. I've met wonderful, loving and committed faithful Christians who live good lives. And, I've heard people pray that God would let their basketball team win, or ask for their car to start, or that somehow some money would turn up to pay the bills with. I wondered how such a powerful being, supposedly revered by so many, could be reduced to simply an errand boy and treated as if he's Santa Claus expected to give gifts.

As a Native American, I began to rediscover the spiritual aspects of my people. I realised that we have been given many blessings, and that I have a duty to appreciate, protect those things. Not try to change them or ask for more.

Now, the thing is, after spending all those years in the Church one or another, it's very difficult to come to the conclusion that you no longer feel like a Christian. Since my family is Chrisitan, I have a hard time admitting to them that I probably am not. So I just don't mention it. But that's where I am. I am not a Christian, but understand why people feel that it's important to be Christian. At the same time I understand why people feel it's just as important to be Buddhist, Muslim, Jewish, Sikh, and many other religions. And I have a hard time wondering why they all feel that others need to be the same as them. Christians in particular are vehement about the fact that it's frightening to think that the Moslim and Muslim people hate Christians. Yet, they continue to send missionaries all over the world to tell those people that what they are doing is wrong and they must become Christian so they can go to heaven. After learning about the history of Native people in this country and how the Church was behind many of the attrocities committed to my relatives, simply because we didn't know Christianity, I was horrified. How could that be? It seemed like the Church was more concerned with accumulating and counting members than with the message that they should be teaching. So, I had to make a choice to change my thinking regarding my faith.

And as much as I enjoy this message board there have been many times when I felt very uncomfortable at the overt proselytising that happens in the posts and threads, and a feeling of general disapproval towards those who admit that they aren't Christian. I have never seen any other people try to tell the Christians that they should rethink their faith and convert to something else.
It isn't as bad as it used to be, and I wouldn't want Christians to feel as tho they can't talk about their faith. Just don't want them to tell me that I'm wrong or bad for not being what they are.

Thank you for letting me vent.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.

 

[texasgal]

Quote:
Very very true .. many (dare I say MOST) churches today are the same way.

 

[deb1]

Thank you, organics North. People interest me. I really love to know the whys behind what everyone does. But in the non on line world, if you ask a lot of questions you come off as either nosy or maybe having some weird ulterior motive for asking. On line, people don't get offended because the questions are directed to everyone and not one specific person.

My own questions came to a head when my oldest son did something that I felt was wrong. That started an entire line of thought in my mind that I couldn't stop. For years I had stuffed down my doubts and tried to hold onto my faith but my son made me face my questions. There is nothing that my son could do to make me stop loving him, he could tell people I didn't exist, spit on me and I would still give my life for him. (Not that he did anything nearly that bad. LOL) If I, as an imperfect human, would not send my child to a place of constant and forever torture then why would an all loving God send anyone to hell?

I had always had problems with the verses about homosexuality, female submission and evangelizing. But I had tried to explain away and soften those verses.

There was also a poster on this board who PMed me. Poor guy. He had no idea that he was another catalyst in my deconversion. I won't mention his name because he would be horrified to discover that he helped me begin to have a crisis of faith that led to me finally examining my believes.

There was also a host of smaller reasons that just began to add up over the years.

I am glad that redux posted this thread. My hubby is still religious and I don't want to do anything to hurt his faith. But it is nice to talk about the process of leaving your former faith.

 

[deb1]

Quote:
Yes, it is actually emotionally painful when you begin to realize that you are no longer a Christian or it has been for me.

Here is a good site for nonChristians but if you are Christian, I would stay away from it. It isn't offensive but I don't want anyone to go through doubts if they do not want to do so.

http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/