Banning Kids In Restaurants...

[rufus]

Ohhhh! This is a real hot button issue. Perhaps some of us need to look real hard at how our children are behaving.

Sadly, it seems that the "no smoking" section also seems to be the "screaming infant" section. It makes a peanut butter sandwich at home look good.

Restaurants have chairs for sitting in; kids should be sitting in them and not running around tripping the wait staff. Hot coffee burns take a long time to heal and they really hurt.

Also, when riding on public transit kids need to be in seats and not running up and down the aisle. Standing up on the seats is dangerous, but I actually see parents standing their kids on the seats.

Walmart and any other store is for shopping, and is not a play ground for kids. They need to be under the parents' direct supervision, not running around, playing with the merchandise, screaming and annoying others.

People do not naturally dislike kids; but enough bad experiences will generate that dislike. The public in general did not produce those kids, so don't expect us to endure their antics. If you don't want to take care of kids, don't have them.

Rufus

 

[Jerseycoop]

Thanks Heathero617 and no there was no mention of the establishment being a golf country club with limited seating and no children's menu. Giving all the facts it's perfectly understandable why the Owners would do this. And no children do not belong here. Thanks again!

 

[TrystInn]

Every payday, a bunch of us go to this really nice Sushi restaurant we adore and where we are friends with the owners. Its a bit of a splurge, we're Navy families and we like to celebrate twice a month together when we're fortunate enough to BE together. Which given our husbands deploy 5 - 7 months out of the year some tours, isn't often.

We're sitting together making small talk, when a family comes in: young mother on a cell phone, grandparents and a small child (looked to be 3ish). We immediately became wary, as the mother was paying absolutely no attention to the child and the child was doing his utmost best to get her attention by acting out. The grandmother tried to placate him, but it was obvious that he had zero respect for her. The grandfather had his chin in the air, ignoring the entire situation.

The problems:

When they attempted to get the boy to sit, he refused to sit in his chair.
When the mother, still on the cell phone, tried to force him to sit, he began screaming "NO! Don't WANNA!" at the top of his lungs.
The grandmother tried to quiet him, but again he ignored her.
Finally, after carrying on for about 5 minutes, he jumped out of his seat and ran to the entrance.
The grandmother caught him mid-way, right near a giant carved wood room partition.
The kid threw himself to the ground, screaming and kicking on his back.
At this point, the mother on her cell stood up (still talking) and went over to yell at her son.
He saw her coming, screamed again and KICKED the room partition. It came slamming down, a foot from my very frail Aunt's back.
They grabbed the kid, jammed him into his seat and he continued to wail.
The men at our table stood up, righted the screen and began to send very disapproving looks at the family.
10 minutes later, after the wait staff refused to take their order, they finally left.
My uncle went outside and took a picture of their license plate.

Our meal was disturbed, but even more importantly my Aunt could have been very severely injured. At no time did this family apologize to anyone, including the owners. The carved room partition wasn't damaged, nor was the wine display in front of it, but given how they lit out of there before the owners could inspect it, how would the family have known that?

I still have no idea why anyone would bring an acting up child INTO a fine dining restaurant, much less a sushi place!

So you tell me, what do we do about this situation if not to ban very young children?

 

[HarlansHollowFarms]

No, I never read an article, just heard it on the new and thought it was a great thing to do. especially after the dinner my DH and I had the night before.

I never said all restaurants should ban children, but I do think it is appropriate for some. I also never said everyone's children were bad, but that the ones that are ruin it for everyone, hence making some establishments kid free is a grand idea.

I have children and grand children, but I also have a life without them and would like to enjoy it in peace and quiet!

 

[punk-a-doodle]

goldfinches wrote:
I probably shouldn't write at all, I'm new to this site and haven't interacted with many of you, but I just have to say, I'm horribly, unpleasantly surprised at the attitudes here.

I have 3 beautiful children under age 5. The fact that children make some of your "skin crawl" and that you cringe when you see children come into a restaurant, I had no idea that the majority of people felt this way.

Quote:
Wow, I just, wow. I'm heartbroken. Guess I'll look at patrons differently the next time we go out to eat. Not at McDonalds or Chuck e Cheeses, either.
Posts like the "skin crawl" and "cringe" etc really make you wonder, when out in public, huh? Any time a thread like this comes out, it never fails that someone posts something that makes you look like a horrible monster for having children.

Only replying, because my "skin crawl" was taken out of context.

Yep, they do. And honestly, as someone who is naturally repulsed by people under about 6 years or so, I feel I have a stronger argument for not wanting a ban on all children at eateries than someone who finds each baby to be a purest miracle of rosy cheeks. It'd be like me saying, "I think dogs are the most precious and innocent thing on this earth, all they offer is loyalty and all you people want to do is ban them from the dog park. I am totally against the ban." Well...yeah. But if didn't like dogs, and I gave some reasonable points for why someone who isn't fond of them still thinks they should be treated faily, I would hope that would be seen as a less biased opinion.

As someone who is fond of the less cute generations, teens and old people, I hear all the time in daily life, "teens make me want to throw things against the wall" or, "I only like working with the sick children, old people are so depressing and gross", I gotta say....doesn't bug me one bit. The people I know are expressing an honest feeling they have, expressing it in a way that does not hurt those in question (ie. hopefully not yelling it at random elderly people or making laws against teens), they show them basic respect just like anyone, they just naturally feel a repulsion/fear/distaste of/what have you for them. So long as they keep those feelings in check, I really can't imagine why I'd care. Not everyone thinks my dog is the wonderful critter I do. I can totally understand how dog drool or Depends makes some people want to climb a very, VERY tall tree. I'm cool with that, and it is why I make sure I teach my dog (and grandma...not really) manners and don't assume everyone thinks she is "just sooo cute" and wants her tongue and paws all over them.

You definitely have the right to be insulted, as you can't help how you feel. But, you can change how you channel it, and all I personally ask is that my whole post be quoted next time.

Why my personal repulsion to very young children would make anyone feel like a monster for having children though is admittedly befuddling.​

 

[KristyHall]

Quote:
Conversely; I was never hit as a child in any form, paddle, hands or otherwise. And I was a VERY well behaved kid, I really was. I was always the good kid at family gatherings while my cousins all were running around terrorizing the place. So from this I conclude that while discipline is key, physical punishment may or may not be a part of that discipline. The only thing that bothers me more than a bratty kid in a restaurant is seeing a parent start grabbing, jerking the arm, yelling at and spanking the kid. That actually really disturbs me, I hate to see it, especially if I'm eating. Discipline your children of course, but I don't need or want to see you jerking them around and berating them in public either. It's no wonder those kids are naughty, how those parents treat them CLEARLY isn't working.

due to some things that happened to me as a child, physical punishment actually made me worse. it would send me into the fight or flight response or if i got so upset i would become near catatonic. The school was not allowed to spank me because of this.

I don't know about you Laura, but what bothers me when the parent yells and jerk is that they have lost control of themselves. how can a person teach a child self control when they loose control? I understand parents are human and can loose their temper but if it is a common thing then that may be a source to the children's misbehavior.

 

[goldfinches]

Quote:
Only replying, because my "skin crawl" was taken out of context.

Yep, they do. And honestly, as someone who is naturally repulsed by people under about 6 years or so, I feel I have a stronger argument for not wanting a ban on all children at eateries than someone who finds each baby to be a purest miracle of rosy cheeks. It'd be like me saying, "I think dogs are the most precious and innocent thing on this earth, all they offer is loyalty and all you people want to do is ban them from the dog park. I am totally against the ban." Well...yeah. But if didn't like dogs, and I gave some reasonable points for why someone who isn't fond of them still thinks they should be treated faily, I would hope that would be seen as a less biased opinion.

As someone who is fond of the less cute generations, teens and old people, I hear all the time in daily life, "teens make me want to throw things against the wall" or, "I only like working with the sick children, old people are so depressing and gross", I gotta say....doesn't bug me one bit. The people I know are expressing an honest feeling they have, expressing it in a way that does not hurt those in question (ie. hopefully not yelling it at random elderly people or making laws against teens), they show them basic respect just like anyone, they just naturally feel a repulsion/fear/distaste of/what have you for them. So long as they keep those feelings in check, I really can't imagine why I'd care. Not everyone thinks my dog is the wonderful critter I do. I can totally understand how dog drool or Depends makes some people want to climb a very, VERY tall tree. I'm cool with that, and it is why I make sure I teach my dog (and grandma...not really) manners and don't assume everyone thinks she is "just sooo cute" and wants her tongue and paws all over them.

You definitely have the right to be insulted, as you can't help how you feel. But, you can change how you channel it, and all I personally ask is that my whole post be quoted next time.

Why my personal repulsion to very young children would make anyone feel like a monster for having children though is admittedly befuddling.

I'm sorry, I didn't quote you in the entirety because I had read on past your post and the general tone of this thread is what made me reply, but your quote is what stuck with me. I have read the other posts of yours on here and do agree with what you say, and you say it in a very polite way, I didn't mean to make you sound so bad. Please accept my sincere apology.

 

[punk-a-doodle]

Apology completely accepted. I am in turn very sorry if I offended you (not my intent at all), but genuinely was trying to express myself in an honest way. I would just hate people to think that a raw statement like that was tied to wanting kids banned.

 

[KristyHall]

Quote:
This is only true to a point. After all, it used to be true that a restaurant could refuse to serve a person because they were black, or a female alone, or Jewish, or ...

I do not appreciate ill-behaved children in a restaurant, store or anywhere. But I think banning of any population is a dangerous precedent. A manager can ask a patron to control their child since they are disturbing the other patrons, but to ban them?

the thing is, some businesses are not meant for children. some atmospheres are not meant for children. just because parents love their kids does not mean everyone else has to love their kids.


a bar is not a suitable place for children, a restaurant meant for romance for dates and couples is not right for children, a restaurant that want's be known for its calm quiet atmosphere is not meant for children. even the best behaved children could have a melt down. the parent may remove the child but that first ear splitting scream is enough to ruin someone's conversation, their thoughts, their studying, their writing on their lap top while drinking coffee or having a leisurely meal and so on.

 

[KristyHall]

Quote:
I agree! This thread just starts a lot issues and anger. We do not live in a perfect society. But some opinions should be just that. I feel this thread is very one sided to OP and has a lot of people angry..adding perfume smells, language, cell phones, loud converstions there are many things that upset people when they go out to dine not just children.If we ban everything that upsets us there'll be nothing left.

This thread just keeps getting worse. It seems as though in our society it has become the norm to critisize everyone else and/or their children for all of the ills of society and daily life. Its political correctness run amock! I am not afraid to say this, I am sure I will upset many or be banned or whatever but I can at least understand children and their behavior because they are still learning. What I dont understand are the adults who continue to say all of this mess because they dont have enough emotional control or maturity. Its easier to villify children and act like an a-hole than to be an adult and deal with circumstances that happen in life. Act like an adult and respond like an adult to situations in life instead of all of this temper tantrum stuff.

there goes the pc label. under the most common definition of pc be more along the liens of what you are saying? Think about it, you do't like someone complaining about your (figurative your) kids, it offends yo, there for you think it should not be said. that is PC