Banties! [my chicken story]

[equinehugger3]

Quote:
You definitely weren't lazy on yours!!! When I do mine I'm just gonna sketch it and scan it onto the computer... Lol that's kinda lazy lol

lol thanks so much!!!

Your welcome. I would do that,but my grandma is the only one that has a scanner and it takes a while to get them on.. and..if I color them in,I make them look bad..

Lol our printer has a scanner, but I've never used it...

I hope it works! I love how your picture is but I don't knownif I could do that... I'm not very good with paint lol

 

[The Turken Lady]

Quote:
Your welcome. I would do that,but my grandma is the only one that has a scanner and it takes a while to get them on.. and..if I color them in,I make them look bad..

Lol our printer has a scanner, but I've never used it...

I hope it works! I love how your picture is but I don't knownif I could do that... I'm not very good with paint lol

Hopefully it will. I would love to see your pictures!

Paint's pretty hard,so I don't blame you. lol.

 

[equinehugger3]

Quote:
Lol our printer has a scanner, but I've never used it...

I hope it works! I love how your picture is but I don't knownif I could do that... I'm not very good with paint lol

Hopefully it will. I would love to see your pictures!

Paint's pretty hard,so I don't blame you. lol.

Lol I'm working on it on and off now... I'll definately finish tonight!

 

[WhiteMountainsRanch]

LOVE IT!

I agree the paragraphing needs a little work... Not breaking down each sentence, but every time you start a new "idea" you would want a new paragraph... hope that makes sense.

 

[equinehugger3]

Here we go, Chunk 4! I hope I'm paragraphing right! lol

"Chunk" 4








"Shhh, it's alright," I soothingly said to Caly. She was scared to leave our shelter to look for Jae, Lena, and Micia. "The monster's just going to come back here anyway," Milla irritably put in. I gave her the look. Eventually we were able to coax the terrified Caly out of the shelter and into the sunny field. I hated the sight of it now. It had cost us so much. Caly was trembling really hard. I was afraid she had been scared for life. I hadn't seen her without tears down her feathery cheeks since she'd woken me up last night. It broke my heart to see her like this.

After walking a while, Milla wanted to stop for a drink. I was about to complain, but one look at her changed my mind. She looked so broken, and she had huge scars across her stomach where the monster had clawed her. She looked like she would burst into tears if something else happened, but, being Milla, she was toughing it out. I had to give her tons of credit. So I agreed. We stopped for a drink at a small, clean stream, then we rested a little bit.

"You guys make me want to cry..." My eyes watered. I couldn't help telling them that, looking at their pained expressions. It made me want to cry too, thinking of Jae and Micia and Lena. I remembered all of our days at the coop, messing around. I remembered goofing off while walking down the path away from the food kingdom, escaping the foxes, and playing in that field. I couldn't help it. I let the tears pour out. The next thing I knew, my much more troubled friends had run to my side and were holding me. I let my head fall against Caly's shoulder, and I hugged Milla to my side. The next thing I knew, they were crying.

They had always teased me about liking Jae, but I'd always pushed the thought away. Who needed love, when you already had it from friends and family anyway? What I didn't realize is that he was my friend, and my family. I missed him with all my heart. "Told you," Milla gently whispered in my ear. I looked at her with so much surprise on my face that she burst out laughing, and so did Caly. Had I been talking out loud? Sometimes Milla and Caly scared me so much... I couldn't help it, and burst out laughing. Pretty soon, we were all laughing, laying on the sand from the river bank. After we calmed down, we started walking again. We were sort of wandering, but these woods weren't very big, and we were bound to find Jae, Lena, and Micia sometime. Weren't we? I wondered.

Later, I found myself thinking about our little outbursts earlier. With that many deep emotions, I had to seriously wonder if we were going insane. "A little insanity is good for you. How else will you have fun, and make those crazy decisions that lead to the best things in life?" I remembered Angie saying a couple weeks ago. Sometimes I had to wonder where she got all of that wisdom. I'd heard some of the deepest and prettiest strings of words come out of her mouth, prettier than any famous food person.

"ESTELLE!!!" Caly screamed gleefully. "Caly?" I asked worriedly. "Come here! NOW!" She sounded ready to cry with joy. I ran as fast as I could to her side. She was standing over a feather. "JAE!!!" I screamed with joy, as I jumped into the air. There were three sets of chicken footprints. "Jae, Lena, and Micia," Milla squealed excitedly. "Wait, there's something else!" Caly was almost jumping up and down with excitement. I was. "A note!" Milla yelled. "We're okay. We're headed north. That's Jae, Mister Buisness," I laughed with relief. "Love you guys. I promise we'll find you. There's Lena," Milla read happily. "Wish you were here. No, scratch that, wish we were there. Love you! There's Micia," Caly squealed. "I guess we're not so lost at all!" Milla was bouncing up and down, which was rare for her.

"I love you," I whispered as I kissed each of their messy notes carved into the ground. "I promise we'll find them too," Caly whispered, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. Milla and I both agreed with watery eyes.





Such dramatic chickens!
I hope I didn't overdo it too much...

lol


EDIT:

Credit to WhiteMountainsRanch for helping me with paragraphing!

 

[equinehugger3]

Quote:
And every time someone talks it starts a new one too, right? Sorry, you can tell I'm bad at this

Thanks, though! I think I may have broken it down a little too much in some spots, and not enough in others...

THANKS!!!

 

[WhiteMountainsRanch]

Each new idea (like topic) not each new chickie talking.. lol lets see if I can help your paragraphing a little bit.

Hope you don't mind...

"Shhh, it's alright," I soothingly said to Caly. She was scared to leave our shelter to look for Jae, Lena, and Micia. "The monster's just going to come back here anyway," Milla irritably put in. I gave her the look. Eventually we were able to coax the terrified Caly out of the shelter and into the sunny field. I hated the sight of it now. It had cost us so much. Caly was trembling really hard. I was afraid she had been scared for life. I hadn't seen her without tears down her feathery cheeks since she'd woken me up last night. It broke my heart to see her like this.

After walking a while, Milla wanted to stop for a drink. I was about to complain, but one look at her changed my mind. She looked so broken, and she had huge scars across her stomach where the monster had clawed her. She looked like she would burst into tears if something else happened, but, being Milla, she was toughing it out. I had to give her tons of credit. So I agreed. We stopped for a drink at a small, clean stream, then we rested a little bit.

"You guys make me want to cry..." My eyes watered. I couldn't help telling them that, looking at their pained expressions. It made me want to cry too, thinking of Jae and Micia and Lena. I remembered all of our days at the coop, messing around. I remembered goofing off while walking down the path away from the food kingdom, escaping the foxes, and playing in that field. I couldn't help it. I let the tears pour out. The next thing I knew, my much more troubled friends had run to my side and were holding me. I let my head fall against Caly's shoulder, and I hugged Milla to my side. The next thing I knew, they were crying.

They had always teased me about liking Jae, but I'd always pushed the thought away. Who needed love, when you already had it from friends and family anyway? What I didn't realize is that he was my friend, and my family. I missed him with all my heart. "Told you," Milla gently whispered in my ear. I looked at her with so much surprise on my face that she burst out laughing, and so did Caly. Had I been talking out loud? Sometimes Milla and Caly scared me so much... I couldn't help it, and burst out laughing. Pretty soon, we were all laughing, laying on the sand from the river bank. After we calmed down, we started walking again. We were sort of wandering, but these woods weren't very big, and we were bound to find Jae, Lena, and Micia sometime. Weren't we? I wondered.

Later, I found myself thinking about our little outbursts earlier. With that many deep emotions, I had to seriously wonder if we were going insane. "A little insanity is good for you. How else will you have fun, and make those crazy decisions that lead to the best things in life?" I remembered Angie saying a couple weeks ago. Sometimes I had to wonder where she got all of that wisdom. I'd heard some of the deepest and prettiest strings of words come out of her mouth, prettier than any famous food person.

"ESTELLE!!!" Caly screamed gleefully. "Caly?" I asked worriedly. "Come here! NOW!" She sounded ready to cry with joy. I ran as fast as I could to her side. She was standing over a feather. "JAE!!!" I screamed with joy, as I jumped into the air. There were three sets of chicken footprints. "Jae, Lena, and Micia," Milla squealed excitedly. "Wait, there's something else!" Caly was almost jumping up and down with excitement. I was. "A note!" Milla yelled. "We're okay. We're headed north. That's Jae, Mister Buisness," I laughed with relief. "Love you guys. I promise we'll find you. There's Lena," Milla read happily. "Wish you were here. No, scratch that, wish we were there. Love you! There's Micia," Caly squealed. "I guess we're not so lost at all!" Milla was bouncing up and down, which was rare for her.

"I love you," I whispered as I kissed each of their messy notes carved into the ground. "I promise we'll find them too," Caly whispered, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. Milla and I both agreed with watery eyes.

 

[equinehugger3]

Quote:
Thank you SOOOO much!!!!!

Yay, now I can do this right!

THANK YOU!

 

[WhiteMountainsRanch]

Haha your welcome... please don't hesitate to ask me about anything that has to do with English... I just finished a couple college classes and my last one I got 110% in the class.

 

[equinehugger3]

Quote:
lol, wow!!! I don't really favor my English teacher, so I find myself day-dreaming sometimes...

She hasn't gone over paragraphing at ALL this year though...

LOL sorry, THANKS AGAIN!!!