Being a Feminist (And Teaching People to Not Cringe When You Say "I'm a Feminist")

[TXchickmum]

I, too, am a feminist.....of sorts. I find it interesting that feminism isn't deemed "political", yet references to the "Bible belt", "volatile down here (south)", and "progressive people" show up in postings.

I am a strong and independent woman. My daughter is being raised to be strong and independent. I come from a lineage of very independent, tough, resourceful, pioneer women. -reside in the "Bible belt" of the "volatile south", and wouldn't be considered a "progressive person" by political standards.

Feminism isn't about misandry/hating men.
Feminism is about equal rights for all genders.

I am certain that women and men are equal......in most ways. I'm for women having the opportunity to seek the employment of choice. -all for equal pay for equal work. I am not for women receiving equal pay for different work. If a woman wishes to perform a combat function in the military, be a police officer, be a firefighter, etc. - go for it! -am a proponent of making no exceptions based upon gender, either. -equal training, equal requirements, no exceptions. Time requirements, weight lifting requirements, etc. should be equal for both sexes. If a woman can do it, she's earned the job. If special exceptions are granted due to gender, she hasn't earned the job. Equality means equality. Period. The same principle may be applied to other occupations. If a woman works the same amount of hours, spends the same amount of time and diligence on a job/project, and makes the same contributions to the company/corporation as a male counterpart - good. In many instances, a woman may be more adept at an occupation and do a better job. She should be compensated the same for equal work, and better (or receive a promotion) for better work! If, however, she is granted special hours (not granted male counterparts) to address other (family) concerns during the day, spends less time on a job/project, and doesn't bring the same quality to the job - her performance isn't equal.


Feminism isn't about burning undergarments, destroying families, or witchcraft.
Feminism is about having the option to choose what you do with your life and your body.

I am for a woman choosing how to live her life. I am for a woman choosing what to do with her body. -not for a woman choosing what to do with/for another individual (even if it resides within her body). That individual should have an equal opportunity (for life).
*and as far as burning undergarments, I'm good with it. -would prefer to never don a brassiere.

Feminism isn't about pushing men down a peg.
Feminism is about not having to fear another gender because they are considered stronger or "above" you.

Fear is a curious term. Fear isn't congruent with gender in any way.....in my opinion. Perception of strength (in certain terms) or being above/beneath is largely dependent upon just that - perception. -am a "feminist" in that I don't perceive myself beneath or weaker than anyone else. Fear hasn't any relevance. I don't control the perceptions of others. They have freedom to think as they wish - male or female.

I like chickens. I like them a lot. -suppose that is something we (men/women/feminists/whatever) have in common based upon the fact that we are all on a chicken message board. -well, there it is.....

 

[LBejaran]

I, too, am a feminist.....of sorts. I find it interesting that feminism isn't deemed "political", yet references to the "Bible belt", "volatile down here (south)", and "progressive people" show up in postings.

I am a strong and independent woman. My daughter is being raised to be strong and independent. I come from a lineage of very independent, tough, resourceful, pioneer women. -reside in the "Bible belt" of the "volatile south", and wouldn't be considered a "progressive person" by political standards.

Feminism isn't about misandry/hating men.
Feminism is about equal rights for all genders.

I am certain that women and men are equal......in most ways. I'm for women having the opportunity to seek the employment of choice. -all for equal pay for equal work. I am not for women receiving equal pay for different work. If a woman wishes to perform a combat function in the military, be a police officer, be a firefighter, etc. - go for it! -am a proponent of making no exceptions based upon gender, either. -equal training, equal requirements, no exceptions. Time requirements, weight lifting requirements, etc. should be equal for both sexes. If a woman can do it, she's earned the job. If special exceptions are granted due to gender, she hasn't earned the job. Equality means equality. Period. The same principle may be applied to other occupations. If a woman works the same amount of hours, spends the same amount of time and diligence on a job/project, and makes the same contributions to the company/corporation as a male counterpart - good. In many instances, a woman may be more adept at an occupation and do a better job. She should be compensated the same for equal work, and better (or receive a promotion) for better work! If, however, she is granted special hours (not granted male counterparts) to address other (family) concerns during the day, spends less time on a job/project, and doesn't bring the same quality to the job - her performance isn't equal.


Feminism isn't about burning undergarments, destroying families, or witchcraft.
Feminism is about having the option to choose what you do with your life and your body.

I am for a woman choosing how to live her life. I am for a woman choosing what to do with her body. -not for a woman choosing what to do with/for another individual (even if it resides within her body). That individual should have an equal opportunity (for life).
*and as far as burning undergarments, I'm good with it. -would prefer to never don a brassiere.

Feminism isn't about pushing men down a peg.
Feminism is about not having to fear another gender because they are considered stronger or "above" you.

Fear is a curious term. Fear isn't congruent with gender in any way.....in my opinion. Perception of strength (in certain terms) or being above/beneath is largely dependent upon just that - perception. -am a "feminist" in that I don't perceive myself beneath or weaker than anyone else. Fear hasn't any relevance. I don't control the perceptions of others. They have freedom to think as they wish - male or female.

I like chickens. I like them a lot. -suppose that is something we (men/women/feminists/whatever) have in common based upon the fact that we are all on a chicken message board. -well, there it is.....

Let there be no misunderstandings when I say that these are simply opinions of mine. Feminism is a bit of a loaded term with different variations. This just happens to be my own.

When using the terms "progressive" and "volatile", my intent was for the words to be adjectives for the feminist culture, not for the areas as a whole. I didn't mean to encapsulate the Bible Belt, or my home in South Texas, as a whole. I don't necessarily think, however, that progressive is a political term. Civil rights themselves aren't necessarily a political issue, either. They are more of a societal issue, I feel.

I totally agree that women should be independent and that they should get paid the same as a men if the same work is done. If I was a junior graphic designer and my male supervisor was a senior graphic designer, of course I expect him to be paid more than myself. My argument is that there are women out there who are being paid less for performing the same tasks and no one seems to care. If I want to move on up from being a junior designer, I should have an equal opportunity to receive a promotion so long as I work hard and prove my worth in a higher position. If I'm not capable of doing the job, then I shouldn't be compensated. That is how it should be and, unfortunately, it isn't always so.

The Pro-Life & Pro-Choice argument will go nowhere here. It is so subjective and I don't think I would even want to argue opinions. The important part is being able to choose what happens to and with your body. Every woman deserves that choice and by taking it away, we are doing a disservice to women who maybe aren't as lucky as us or as capable. It's kind of why I'm such a huge Wendy Davis fan now, but I don't think I want to start in on that here. I don't want to make enemies on my favorite forum.

I think what I was trying to get at with the "fear" thing was this:

There shouldn't be a gender-based issue. When guys walk down the street alone at night, no one says anything because there isn't really a thought that comes into our mind that says, "Be careful and dress down so you don't get raped."

But when a woman says she'll be walking home alone, she does have something to fear. She has to be cautious and maybe she has to dress down or just forgo walking home alone because being raped is a possibility.

I'm not saying men don't get raped, too (and they are nearly never reported, so that's a whole other issue). However, women are more likely to deal with this fear and there are too many cases where women are blamed for it. Whether due to what they wore or their sexual history or their higher risk lifestyle, many women never even report these things because they think they can't or because they believe that their case won't be taken as seriously.

I don't see myself as the weaker sex. What feminism aims to do is show others that females are equal to males. There are many different approaches and often times, feminists get a bad reputation because people think we are man-haters and the naysayers of normalcy. I just see it as common decency.

Well, I'm winded. Time to go hang around the chooks until it's feeding time.

 

[TXchickmum]

No worries. I get that folks have different views....and even on one single term such as "feminism". It's all good.

Let's hear it for the chickens - the uniters of us all! (I, too, must tend the flock and rake hay in a muddy run 'bout now.) -hope that you have a very good and peaceful evening.

 

[mom'sfolly]

I think it is interesting talking to other women about training their guys about women, and the learned behaviors that we have to have concerning personal safety. I have a friend who runs, and her husband was hanging out on a loop, supporting her run. She sort of had to tell him to not to hang out the way he was, because he was creeping out the other female runners on the trail. A guy, just lurking, on a running trail is a perceived threat. We also discussed how clueless good guys are about these things, because they don't think like predators, and haven't needed to think as prey.

My mom is the most obvious sexiest in my life. Constantly saying things like "can you get one of the men to do blank". Mind you, she is referring to my husband and two sons, one of whom is 12 and weighs 90 pounds. I can pick up a fifty pound TV, the 12 year old "man" certainly cannot.

 

[LBejaran]

I think it is interesting talking to other women about training their guys about women, and the learned behaviors that we have to have concerning personal safety. I have a friend who runs, and her husband was hanging out on a loop, supporting her run. She sort of had to tell him to not to hang out the way he was, because he was creeping out the other female runners on the trail. A guy, just lurking, on a running trail is a perceived threat. We also discussed how clueless good guys are about these things, because they don't think like predators, and haven't needed to think as prey.

My mom is the most obvious sexiest in my life. Constantly saying things like "can you get one of the men to do blank". Mind you, she is referring to my husband and two sons, one of whom is 12 and weighs 90 pounds. I can pick up a fifty pound TV, the 12 year old "man" certainly cannot.

It's been a long but fairly simple road teaching the boys in my family how to respect a woman. At the same time, though, we make sure they know how to be respected as well. When a girl was stringing along my brother so he would pay for her when they went to the movies or out to meals, we told him that it was probably best that he spoke to her or broke it off. As it turns out, she was just a bad egg. My brother got another girlfriend a few months later and the respect is obvious. It's a partnership and they really seem to love each other.

I think it can be hard to shake that idea that we need to be fearful of men sometimes. "Evil" people are the minority, so most of us should feel safe, but we don't and that is an issue. It's something that I'm trying to work on with my sisters. I really think we need to take self defense classes and get in shape, not only for the safety but also because we won't have to worry as much. It's just a little step we can take to level the playing field.

I hate when people do that! I'm not above getting help from a guy if I can't lift something, but at least give me the chance to do what I can! The guys at Tractor Supply always watch me when I'm lifting and carrying bags of feed out of the store. One of the guys, an older gentlemen, always tries to get to the bags first so I don't have a chance. I mean, I say thank you, but I really like doing it myself. I'm sure the guy has other, more important things to do considering he's the manager. Plus, lifting bags of feed is really good for my legs and arms, hehe!

 

[punk-a-doodle]

I believe in equal rights and treatment between genders. That said, culture is so pervasive that I often find my own little gender biases!

Even though I fit many a definition for the term, I do not like the word "feminist". It both sounds exclusive rather than inclusive (females versus equal rights), and I'm not big on labels. I'm personally more comfortable just acting and treating others equally and discussing individual topics/points of contention as they come up.

I always hear the argument that men and women should undergo equal physical assessments for jobs. I agree. That said, some tests in traditionally male dominant positions seem to have been drawn up by males for males, rather than by people for a given job. I'd like to see such evaluations re-assessed and made pertinent to jobs in a way that is backed by solid research. I struggle at pull-ups but can crush a human skull between my thighs. Yet, when trying out for cross country, push-ups and pull-ups featured and leg strength did not. I excelled at the leg-strength heavy sport despite my little chicken arms. That would be an example of arbitrary standards that do not fit the task at hand.

 

[LBejaran]

I believe in equal rights and treatment between genders. That said, culture is so pervasive that I often find my own little gender biases!

Even though I fit many a definition for the term, I do not like the word "feminist". It both sounds exclusive rather than inclusive (females versus equal rights), and I'm not big on labels. I'm personally more comfortable just acting and treating others equally and discussing individual topics/points of contention as they come up.

I always hear the argument that men and women should undergo equal physical assessments for jobs. I agree. That said, some tests in traditionally male dominant positions seem to have been drawn up by males for males, rather than by people for a given job. I'd like to see such evaluations re-assessed and made pertinent to jobs in a way that is backed by solid research. I struggle at pull-ups but can crush a human skull between my thighs. Yet, when trying out for cross country, push-ups and pull-ups featured and leg strength did not. I excelled at the leg-strength heavy sport despite my little chicken arms. That would be an example of arbitrary standards that do not fit the task at hand.

I know how you feel about the word "feminist", but I think, at the time of it's use, it was meant to be exclusive. But, like many words, the definition has changed with time even though most of society sees it as the same.

There are so many variables to humanity that I don't think gender can be one of those things we judge people by. When I got my first major job as a graphic designer, I was working with five men that all had this idea for a race. They wanted grunge and mud and razor wire and I had just walked in wearing a rose-print blazer. Immediately, there was concern that I couldn't do the job because I was a woman with a feminine coat on. Little did they know that I was a BYCer, a get-down-in-the-dirt-and-wrestle kind of girl and I'd done loads of grungy stuff before (as well as a horror movie website, which was fun). So I made them a mock up and they hired me on the spot. They needed to see what I could do with their ideas before they would accept the recommendation they got from my previous employer. It was a bit upsetting, but it certainly made me feel good to prove them wrong.

I think making small changes to the way we perceive the importance of genders would really take us far. Right now, women are fighting because we are sometimes seen as lesser. I'm sure that if it was the other way around, men would want to be treated equally, as well. Unfortunately, this is just one of the many issues that we are dealing with in our lifetimes. Then again, past generations have been fighting against it for much longer. Hopefully, we can put to rest this issue within this century. I'd like to live to see it.

 

[mom'sfolly]

One of the things I particularly dislike is how women and men in the public sphere are treated differently when it comes to expressing emotion. If Hillary Clinton cries or tears up, she can't handle her job, and is an overly emotional, irrational being; if the very teary John Boehner tears up, he is being empathetic or sincere. A forceful woman is "bitchy" and a forceful man is "commanding" or simply "forceful". And even in professional circles, women who are winning arguments are subjected to comments like "are you on the rag".

For me, it is not just about equal pay, but real equality. This means checking your assumptions at the door and treating people in an appropriate matter, without bringing gender into it. For things like job situations, I agree with Punk that the qualifications need to be based on real life data. There are some things, even the physical ones, that women can handle much better than men; and the reverse is also true. Job requirements should reflect what is needed for the job, not just the attitude that we've always done it that way.

 

[TXchickmum]

I agree that both male and female should be treated with respect and dignity, and have equal opportunities. -bottom line for me is reality. People perceive things differently. -can't legislate viewpoints. -cannot dodge physiology, either. Also, men and women (and all people) are different. Ex.) My husband can bench press more than I can. He is physically stronger. We are not equal in strength. I am a musician. My husband is practically tone deaf. I am more musically talented than he. We are not equal in musical ability. My husband and I are equal regarding intellect and intelligence (although that is rather subjective and dependent on variables).

Everyone has personal experiences that shape attitudes and views. I've never been the recipient of negative, judgmental attitudes by males. -have received some interesting comments by a few feminist (as they identified themselves) females. They shared similar attitudes that I was bizarre for choosing to exit the workforce, stay home with my children, and care for the home/family (and yes - that includes the husband). I chose my path and am fulfilled. -and the above women (I personally referenced) just do not get that. It's as if I've rolled back years of progress. -don't concern myself with their decisions, and have been amused that they concern themselves with mine.

 

[mom'sfolly]

I have never had any woman question me about being a stay at home mom...I however would not recommend it for any woman who wishes to return to the workforce. I have stayed out too long for my skills to be current, and marketable. While I have enjoyed my time with my kids, 16 years has dated me. But that is me. I recognize that I made a choice, and I am grateful that choice was available to me. Many families literally cannot afford to have one parent stay out of the work force.

When my kids were little, I simply couldn't justify the daycare situation where I would be paying a minimum wage worker, with little education, to raise my children. I think, as a society, we undervalue those who work with and care for children. While a parent pays a great deal for childcare, the worker usually is a minimum wage employee. In my opinion, teachers are generally underpaid as well. But back to the "feminist" issues, childcare and teaching tend to be "pink collar" jobs, and have historically be underpaid.