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Oh, believe me, in Ohio it's probably not possible to find a sane Christian for comparison.
My usual day in Ohio:
Me: Excuse me, but I paid $20 for gas and the pump shut off at $5. Could you please fix it? Here's my receipt.
Gas station kid: No! You only got $5, and that's it!
Me: I'd like to talk to the manager. You can see my receipt.
GSK: I am the manager! Get outta here!
Cop: What seems to be the problem?
GSK: This stupid lady is causing trouble, man! I think she's one o' them Satanist hippies or something.
Cop: Miss, you'll have to leave.
Me: What?!? I bought $20 worth of gas, the kid keyed it in wrong or something, all I want is the gas I paid for! And I'm not a Satanist or a hippie!
Cop: Miss, move along, there's other customers waiting.
Three-headed guy in grocery store parking lot: Excuse me, ma'am, have you heard the Good News?
Me: I'm not interested, thank you.
Three-headed guy: Foul W---e! The Great and Almighty Tony will pick you up, rip you in half and skip you across a lake of fire like a little stone!* You are a W---e who tempteth the Righteous with your jeans and your turtleneck sweaters, causing men to imagine the bosoms underneath! Tony can save you! You must read this pamphlet! (grabs my hand as I'm walking away and presses a 10 lb. book into it)
Me: Don't touch me please.
THG: The touch of the righteous burneth the Turtleneck-wearing W---e! Behold!
(In the store)
Me: Hmm, I think I have a coupon for--
THG: The Turtleneck W---e contaminates all that she touches! Oh lord Tony, help us all!
Me: What the-- hey, is there a manager around here?
Store manager: What's the problem miss?
Me: This crazy guy is following me around and screaming names and yelling about some Tony guy. He's harassing me. Can you make him stop or call a cop or something?
Store manager: Well, no, I don't think so. It's his freedom of religion.
(THG actually starts to throw produce at me.)
Me: Hey! Get a cop, I'm filing assault charges!
Store manager: Tch. (THG starts rolling on the floor, vomiting and foaming at all three mouths.)
Cop: What's the problem miss?
Me: That three-headed guy was following me around the store, yelling at me and throwing things at me! He should be locked up! I want to press charges!
Cop: Oh no, he's allowed his freedom of religion.
(I walk out of the store to find that my car has been keyed, with the words "Tony Alamo is the Anointed One" scratched on the doors. Three times.)
Me: Well, can I at least press charges for vandalism?
Cop: THG couldn't possibly have done that, he was following you around the store, right?
Banker: I'm sorry miss, I can't let you withdraw that much money from a joint account without your husband's permission.
Me: But DH withdraws lots of money all the time and it's never a problem. I need $500 to cover my insurance deductible, my car's just been vandalized.
Banker: Well, we'll need your husband's permission, missy.
Me: OK, let's call him right now.
Banker: He needs to come down in person.
Me: That's absurd! He's in school all day! Anyway, I'm the only one depositing any paychecks INTO this account, and you're telling me I can only put money in, but if I want to get it out I need my spouse's permission? It's a JOINT account!
Banker: Well, I don't make the rules.
Me: In that case, we're closing the accounts here and I'll find some other bank. Give me the account closing forms.
Banker: We can only give them to your husband.
(show up later with DH, very angry, in tow)
Banker: That's your husband?!? He doesn't have the same last name!
DH: Yes. And now you will close our accounts here. I want to speak to the manager.
Banker: I'm very sorry sir.
News reporter: Today, a mysterious box was found in an Ohio elementary school. When the SWAT team detonated it in a controlled explosion that killed five children, it was found to contain a missing box of approximately 600 votes cast in last year's election, which had never been counted and would have given the election to (guy who didn't win).
Election official: Well, yanno, stuff happens.
Reporter: Families of the five children could not be contacted.
(Scene: Angry PTA moms waving signs that say, "Serve and PROTECT the kids!" "First they killed our co-op, then they killed our kids!")
Reporter: In other news, a violent protest was successfully pacified by the Loraine Country SWAT team today. One protester died while in police custody.
Neighbor of protester who died: She must have done something, otherwise the cops wouldn't have been after her.
*Actual quote from a street preacher who used to haunt the Ohio universities, parks, and elementary school parking lots.