Big Rant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[debilorrah]

Some of you know that my mother is difficult at best, and being her only daughter, she uses me as a sounding board. I haven't had an attack from her in quite a while, so I guess I probably should have seen it coming.

My son is trying to get a FAFSA grant through DeVry University. My mom has been taking him down there because I work. Well, she went and told them that she raised my son, I have nothing to do with him, etc. SO NOT TRUE. DeVry says they want my tax returns for 07 and 08. Well in 07 I claimed her - I lived with her, paid the bills, paid for the food, etc. So now she has told them I have nothing to do with my son, but they are BOTH claimed on my taxes!!!!! I told her no. My other two kids got FAFSA's without taxes returns, so Brandon can too!

So this morning I drop my son off at her house to go back to DeVry. Without the taxes. She called me and told me that I am worthless, and I have ruined my son's entire life.

Um SHE LIED NOT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Besides, I am not so comfortable with passing copies of my tax returns!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I need to back away from her. I am just not sure how to go about it. She made me cry. Again. I have never understood how a parent can be so hateful.

 

[speckledhen]

I'm sorry, Deb. I have no solutions, though. Family can sometimes be toxic, sadly.

 

[Amyable]

sorry dearie. I can't imagine there is anything you can do to "fix" your mom at this point in life. Space may be the best thing.

 

[Germaine_11.20]

I'm sorry. You deserve better than that.

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
Toxic is a good word. I am not really looking for a solution - she can't be fixed at this point. I just need to work on ME in order to back away from her altogether. My son was in shock! He texted me right away in total amazement.

 

[sred98]

It is hard, but sometimes it is for the best. I had a very horrible relationship with my adopted parents and finally cut it off about 7 years ago. There has been some fallout...they basically trashed me to the entire family (which they had been doing for years) and this just proved everything they had been saying was true, because what kind of kid "abandons" their parents??

I have to say, though, it was the best decision for my immediate family (me, DH and kids).

I've got tons of stories...maybe we can share horror stories sometimes!

It's a decision you have to make, no one can make it for you. And Ken has to be behind you 100%. It's not easy, but sometimes you have to decide what's best for you.

Shelly

 

[Germaine_11.20]

I am glad your son sees and supports you.

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:

Ken stays as far away from her as possible.

 

[Amyable]

Quote:
Sounds like a smart man! I'm glad your son sees the craziness in her, too. They are by your side.

 

[redhen]

Debi..I wouldnt answer the phone when she calls...
And if she asks you what your problem is..explain to her what you just told us. That your tired of her being so hurtful to you.
I also dont understand why they need your tax returns..isnt he over 18? Hes an adult..