I didn't read the whole thread, but my kids love our Holland Lops. I raise them and ours are the sweetest, most laid-back rabbits. I have a wire corral I set on the grass for the bunnies to play and the kids get right in there with them. My youngest DD (at 2 years old) was able to pick them up and snuggle them, even hold them upside down (like a baby). The rabbits are very calm and gentle.
Another laid-back breed that I love are English Angoras, but they're A LOT of work and I never considered them as a pet for my kids, since I'm the one doing all the work with them!
One of the breeds I think is awful for kids is Netherland Dwarfs - way to skittish. My New Zealand Whites are too big and rowdy for the kids to handle, either.
You'd probably have to look at a lot of bunnies to find a gentle, calm one for your DD to play with. Hold out for that really special rabbit and don't get discouraged!