BYC Café

[aart]

I think you mean the phone call regarding the truck.

I meant that he at first refused to take responsibility for the window he broke.
Was that typical behavior for him or just triggered by the misunderstanding about the 'home'?

 

[DobieLover]

I meant that he at first refused to take responsibility for the window he broke.
Was that typical behavior for him or just triggered by the misunderstanding about the 'home'?

Different person. That is my nephew who broke the window.
I had a call from DHs rotten sister about DHs truck VIN and Jr. was sitting with her during the nasty call.

 

[aart]

Different person. That is my nephew who broke the window.
I had a call from DHs rotten sister about DHs truck VIN and Jr. was sitting with her during the nasty call.

Ohhhhh!! I just can't keep up!

 

[cheepteach]

DL--glad it is getting better for you! I hate that me against the world feeling. Have a nice day all!

 

[sourland]

Good morning, Cafe, there's a freshly brewed pot and some day old cinnamon rolls.

@DobieLover - glad for the clearing of the air with your husband's son. As in all things proceed with caution.

 

[DobieLover]

Ohhhhh!! I just can't keep up!

I can't either and it's my life!

 

[bruceha2000]

The house he is helping with is the house that he will be living in with my mother.

I think you told us that but I forgot. Yeah he should definitely be helping to get the house ready since it will be where he lives.

 

[Bunnylady]

I'm glad that JR realizing that he didn't hold any cards has gotten him talking to you and gotten the air cleared. It would have been nicer if he had approached you as one adult to another, and said, "look, we would prefer that Dad stayed in his own home as long as possible; is there some way we can work together to make that happen?" That would have let everybody know they were all on the same page, instead of all the drama. I suppose one good thing (if it is a good thing) that has come of this is that the family does now know exactly what his financial status is, and can move forward without any speculation on that score.

 

[Perris]

Thanks for the coffee Sour - though

some day old cinnamon rolls

is not the most exciting offer I've had today

 

[DobieLover]

It would have been nicer if he had approached you as one adult to another

And I said this twice during our conversation. There was no good reason to do the things he did behind my back even if he did think I made that comment about him wanting his father in a nursing home, which he now knows I didn't.
DH has a hand in all of this as well. He tells people different things because he wants everyone to be happy and all it ever does is blow up in his face. Jr and I discussed this too.
I also reminded him that I've heard DH on many occasions say things that are completely inaccurate. Because of the Alzheimer's. But whomever he is speaking with just doesn't know that. They think everything he says is true. I've mentioned before that if someone really wants to know what is going on, they need to talk to me because DH is just not capable of relaying the pertinent details any longer. And sometimes the truth is all in the details.
I think Jr. will be much more receptive to calling me directly in the future.
I now would like to have a similar discussion with the daughter who was the recipient of the hand grenade email I lobbed into the mess of them and was the messenger to DHs family. It's really only the kids I care to have a strong relationship with over the next several years as their father's disease progresses. I do like most of his siblings but because they are all much older than I, I sometimes think that they look at me as incapable of making these decisions. Perhaps similar to me referring to 30 and 40 year old adults as "kids". But I don't think them incapable.