Calling Ms. Manners....

[Camelot Farms]

Have the words THANK YOU really gone the way of the do-do bird?

Admittedly, I am old school as far as manner go. I encourage (force) my children to either call or send a thank you note for every christmas gift, birthday gift, graduation gift that they receive. I find this to be basic manners.
So, when other children do not do the same, I find it a bit irritating that their parents dont encourage a quick thank you. However when adults dont bother to say thank you...that totally peeves me.
Really. If you cant take 2 minutes to send an email or write a note or heaven forbid make a 5 minutes phone call to say thank you, you might just find yourself on my naughty list next year.

This past summer, my 89 year old Grandfatehr died. I have 9 cousins ranging in age from 25-38. Between all of us, we have 17 children. Grandpa truly was the patriarch of our family. Loved by everyone.
He happened to love sunflowers. They were his favorite flower. So starting back in August, I began creating sunflower necklaces for all of the grand-daughters and great-grand-daughters and sunflower tie tacks for the grand-sons and great-grandsons and included my 2 aunts and my uncle. Each one was hand created and included a tribute card with a little poem on it.

I sent them out for Christmas.

To date, I have recieved 3 thank you's. One from my Aunt and her daughter and one from my other cousin.

I think I am as hurt as I am annoyed. I put countless hours into these remembrances and then to not even have them recognized is very hurtful.

Signed 'sad in VA'

 

[Mattemma]

What a nice thing for you to make! I doubt I would continue to give gifts to anyone who could not even email a thank you. If they dare ask why I stopped gifting I would let them know.

I am disappointed when I give a gift,get no acknowledgement,comment on the lack of response,and then get a *hollow* thank you* after my complaint. No one should need a reminder to say thank you.

And now I am off to make sure we DID thank everyone!!!! Never know I might have missed someone.

Again,super nice thing you made! So much more special than a gift card or toy that will be forgotten in a day.

 

[Buff Hooligans]

Quote:
Rule #1 for public speakers: "Know your audience."

Rule #1 for gift-givers: "Know your audience." (i.e. - the above mentioned three people that sent you a thank-you note are the ones who will receive your kindnesses in the future.)

 

[Imp]

You're right, the formal Thank You has gone the way of the Dodo bird. I have even given up on them. giving and receiving.

Sounds like you created something special for Christmas. That's very nice.

Don't give up entirely on your family, it has only been a couple days since Christmas. Some people haven't woken from the food coma yet.

Imp- Would like to Thank You for taking the time to post this. It is truly appreciated.

 

[Rozzie]

It's only 3 days after Christmas. Perhaps a few more will be forthcoming...

 

[annie3001]

i know what you mean. i make sure my 2 kids ages 5 and 3 thanked each and every person they recieved a xmas gift from. funny some of the other neices and nephews did nothing. funny bad sad. I do my best to make sure my kids say bless you when someone sneezes etc. its the little things that will and could make a big difference when they get older. even adults forget the word "thank you" really sad.
thank you for this thread.

 

[bburn]

There is not much thought given to manners anymore it seems.

My sister, who is not related to my two GG's always sends them a really nice, thoughtful Christmas gift that she ships as she lives out of state. She is always anxious to hear if they liked it. This year it was quite nice. I have told both girls that they need to write 'Aunt Kate' a thank you note...that they don't even have to mail it...bring it to me and I will mail it. They looked at me like I had grown two heads. One of their mothers looked at me the same. I am going to push until it happens this year.

Truthfully, my 25 yo special needs daughter shows more heartfelt gratitude for the gifts she receives.

I am in hopes that your family will come through. I am very sentimental about things and that was a quite thoughtful and wonderful gift that you made for everyone. I for one think it is wonderful. My dad was that way about the dogwood blossom.

 

[colowyo0809]

While I do sympathize, I'd also like to point out that the whole point of giving gifts isn't to be recognized, it's to do something nice or thoughtful for someone. Having that acknowledged is always heartwarming, etc etc, but the bottom line is if you don't get a thank you it shouldn't ruin your day/week/year/etc. I do my best to say thank you when I receive something, and if it's wrapped I say thank you again when I open it. Just basic manners. But, I know there are times I don't necessarily do it immediately, and if I don't write it down to remind myself, I will forget to say it altogether. (I've also learned that making a joke when certain people do something special is worse than not saying anything at all

) However, it sounds like you put alot of effort and time into these gifts, and for that I thank you. People tend to buy more than they make nowadays. We gave jars of jam for chrismas, to the people we actually gave gifts to

 

[Camelot Farms]

Thanks for the responses everyone. Love the rose Imp!

Perhaps worst of all is that 3 of these grand children are my own sisters. I have talked to them since Christmas and Zip Zero Nada.
Just a feeling sorry for myself day I think.

For Christmas from my Gram, I got the only copy of the DVD that the funeral home made of all of the pics of Grandpa that we submitted, set to music. I did not make it home for the funeral but went up the following week.
She thought I would like to have it.

Gram also sent me one of the 5 Silver Teaspoons that Grandpa's mother left to her. The spoon has Gr. Grandmas name on it and the date of her wedding on the back 1904.
So as you can see I am pretty sentimental...I think one of my sisters refers to it as sappy...

Thank you again for the kind words. Going to have a little wine with my whine and get over my pity party. And start next years naughty and nice list....

 

[chickbea]

Well, you just guilted me into getting going on my thank-you notes! However, it has only been a couple of days since Christmas; I think we are still in the acceptable window of time.
You can always be painfully direct - give people a call and say "Did you get the necklace/tie tack that I sent? I worked really, really hard on them and I was afraid yours got lost in the mail since I didn't hear from you about it."
I hear your general frustration about this issue, however. I'm still offended that an ex-coworker never acknowledged her wedding gifts (from anyone!). One co-worker had hand made an absolutely gorgeous quilt for her and she never heard a word about it either.