First of all, Im not coming here to start a debate on whats right or wrong. Im asking a question. Second, yes, I have sought help. That went nowhere. Heres my story. At 19 I dated a boy while I was in college. He was barely 18 and had just graduated from high school. We lived in 2 different states. We dated, I got kicked out of school and went home, he joined the Army, romance over. Shortly after returning home, I found out I was pregnant. He never had anything to do with DD up until about 2 years ago when curiosity got the best of her and she wanted to meet him. Short lived relationship. I helped introduce them, saw him a few times but kept my distance for the most part, this was their deal. I have been married to a wonderful man for nearly 18 years. I love him with all of my heart. Well, most of it anyway. My problem is Im still in love with my old BF. My love for him has never wavered. I simply moved on when I knew there was never a future for us. I would NEVER do anything to harm my husband or marriage. I dont have contact with old BF. So dont tell me not to talk to him, I dont. I went 20 YEARS without seeing this man, but the love I feel is still great. He is married and has a 1 year old son. Im sure in his eyes, our relationship was over 22 years ago. He may or may not remember how I felt for him. I dont live my life full of what ifs and regrets. Im happy with who I am and with and where I am today. I just feel so much for this man. Counseling didnt help. We'll leave it at that. I dont have control over what my heart feels. Thankfully my brain acts the way it should. Has anyone ever loved someone they knew they could never be with? I would never leave my hubby for this man, ever. But I still love him. I keep it pushed way down inside, which cant be good for me. Can your first true loves love ever die? Do I keep doing what Ive done for over 20 years? Just accept the fact I have feelings for him and keep moving forward?
